If anyone wants to know what a place called “Wit’s End” looks like, just ask me. I go to visit there quite often.
It’s amazing how you can go from one day feeling like you could conquer the world in motherhood to the next wishing you could just go curl up in a corner and give up.
I guess the fact that life won’t seem to slow down doesn’t help. And because of that, there’s no time to turn “off.” Sometimes it seems that life is stuck indefinitely in the “on” position. There’s always something that needs doing, and sleep is hard to come by. In my case, the result is often a frustrated and impatient mother.
From sitting on the piano bench helping kids plunk out the new pieces they’ve been assigned, to following up with a doctor who didn’t send the blood work lab order for my baby that they promised, to changing the sheets on Elle’s bed for a visitor, to changing Claire’s sheets because she wet the bed…again, to cajoling kids to clean up after themselves and trying to positively reinforce how great it is to have a clean house, to dropping everything I’m trying to juggle every time one of Lucy’s therapists comes over, to comforting a crying child (inevitably one who doesn’t really deserve comforting because it’s the tenth time she’s burst into tears that hour, and in reality there’s not anything wrong), to preparing to teach a parenting class, to editing a photo shoot, to figuring out the best way to deal with naughty behavior from a particular child, or trying to build up another child I’m worried has low self esteem these days…it seems like I have to be “on” every time I turn around to take a breather.
The list goes on and on and on. Most of it consists of good, fulfilling things. When they come at me a few at a time I can take them on, no problem. I can handle it. That’s what moms do, right?
However, there are some weeks when the “to do’s” feel like they’ve been poured on by the bucketful and I just can’t keep up. Everywhere I look there are drawers jam-packed with junk screaming to be organized, scheduling for doctors and braces appointments needing to be done, toilets to be cleaned, fingerprints to be wiped, carpools to be driven…the list of what we moms do just doesn’t stop!
You know what? I can always count on the fact that tomorrow’s going to be better. I just know it. Because it almost always is. Max will say something to make me laugh. Claire will give me a hug and tell me she loves me out of the blue. My husband, Dave will wink at me from across the room. And suddenly all the “on” time will seem worth it.
I love the following quote:
“Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily tasks, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.”
It makes me feel at peace knowing that after I’ve done the very best I can do, there’s someone more powerful that can fill in the gaps.
I guess the secret is to realize that yes, we mothers visit a place called “Wit’s End” quite regularly. But it’s also important to remember that all that time we spend there makes the precious moments when we come “home” that much better.
Challenge: What do you do when you reach “Wit’s End”?
Question: What strategies do you have to avoid getting all the way to your wit’s end? Share your secrets!
I LOVE this!! Thanks, so much, Shawni! I’ve been at Wit’s End several times as well. I also love your quote about God being awake. What comfort that gives me – especially as I think about Japan right now and what those poor people must be feeling. God is awake and will take care of them. Thank you.
I couldn’t help but be reminded of this delightful line in Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” The Cheshire Cat says to the Mad Hatter “What’s gotten into you…you used to do the best fudderwhackin in Wit’s End!”
One of the things I best remember is to lighten up when I’m headed toward Wit’s End. The line from this movie reminds me to put on some music and dance~stress levels immediately lower and my kids often join in. It also works when I’m doing dishes/cleaning/laundry and the work won’t feel so monotonous~I get a workout too! I recommend Mindy Gledhill’s “Anchor” Very lighthearted and motivating.
As a child/parent educator (elementary counselor) it is so refreshing to find an article about how it is normal for us to reach the end of our rope with just the day to day. I don’t think that is stated enough by “experts in the field”. Not recognizing how insanely frustrating parenting can be creates a sense of shame and guilt when we day dream of a girls weekend in Chicago…but I digress…
Your article(s) are spot on. It’s important to have a “back-up plan” for what I term a “mommy time-out”. My kids are 4, 6, and 8 and I will call for a mommy time-out when I feel the hair on the back of my neck begin to rise. I set the timer for 5-10 minutes and let the kids know that I am only to be interrupted if there is a bone showing or major blood loss.
My kids are very responsible but I still prepped them ahead of time about what a “mommy time-out” is and how it helps the whole family. I have found this to have added benefits, such as when my kids are feeling frustrated or would like time to themselves they call their own time-out in which they go to their room and play or read quietly until they are recharged.
This enables them to feel empowered in their own choices and decisions. They may not be able to get their little brother to leave their Lego creation alone but they can choose to walk away from him and choose something else to do. I prefer that to them putting little brother in a head lock or stuffing him in a closet!
Mathew 6:34 also helps: Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (ain’t that the truth!)
Cheers!
~Heather
feeling that way just now, thanks!
Thank you! I enjoyed this. My daughter told me once that she knew when I was stressed because I would laugh out of nowhere. I told her yes that is my insanity laugh, when I can’t do anything else but laugh.
For me, it’s just keeping my cup full by getting lots of sleep.
I just don’t find that I can get “me” time — it literally doesn’t happen. I don’t deal well with kids at the door screaming at me.
Anyway, some of it has to be stuff for me.
But, I think it’s good to know lots of moms visit wits end frequently. If only there was a train back to “happy mom” 🙂
Love the idea of a “mommy time-out.” Think I’m going to steal that one! I usually reach wit’s end a lot sooner when I’m tired or have been eating poorly. Never underestimate what rest and good food can do for a mother’s soul.