I recently found this journal entry from four years ago:
Our dryer broke on Tuesday night–right in the middle of wash day.
So after Eric and I tucked the children in bed, we came down to the kitchen and hung laundry everywhere.
On our dryer rack, on the chairs, on the cupboards, on the drawers. . . .
When I went upstairs to go to sleep, I started laughing because Eric had also hung laundry ALL over the canopy of our bed.
We’re shopping for a new dryer, but in the meantime, I think it’s important to note that these little inconveniences aren’t that big of a deal.
Yes, it’s kind of annoying to have clothing all over your kitchen. (It took forever for these things to dry.) But we have family relationships that are stronger than ever.
When I’m filling up the water bottles or scrubbing something in the sink, Eric comes over, wraps his arms around my waist, and kisses that ticklish part by my ear until I get goose bumps down to my toes.
The girls are always watching closely, and they say something like, “Ooh-la-la.”
When I tuck Spencer in at night, he says, “I love you 30, 50, 100 until the numbers end.” And since I’ve been sick this week and spending a lot of time on the couch, he keeps running up to me and saying in a deep voice, “Who loves his MAMA?”
Grace could see I was losing my patience last night, so she worked extra hard on her zone (kitchen this month) and danced around on wet towels to get the floor nice and shiny. Then she gave me a neck massage and entertained me with at least 50 cartwheels up and down the living room.
Ethan has totally taken responsibility for Spencer. He made him a little snack yesterday after his nap, he makes sure Spencer shampoos his hair in the bathtub, and he teaches him all about Legos and car tracks. Even though they’re noisy little boys, it’s just sweet to watch them together.
Alia is like a second mother to the younger children, and when I’ve been dizzy and head-achey, she’s said, “Mom, go lie down. I’ve got this.”
And she does.
Sometimes life feels heavy. I know that. But quite honestly, if I had to choose between a new dryer and a family of best friends, I’d hang laundry in the kitchen any day.
Looking at this in retrospect, I am amazed at how quickly things have changed. Alia is now driving, Grace has transitioned from cartwheels to text messages filled with heart emojis, Ethan and Spencer now watch out for each other as they ride their bikes around the neighborhood, I have a working dryer, and I never have to hang my laundry in the kitchen!
What’s even more amazing, however, is that the feeling is the same. There’s the same love and sweetness, the same joy that comes with family.
These investments we make early on are worth it.
Just a few ideas to keep you, the amazing deliberate mothers, going strong. You’ve got this.
QUESTION: What details of your life (frustrating or sweet) are only temporary?
CHALLENGE: Instead of worrying about those temporary details, try to focus on the feelings of love that you want to last forever.
Image from Shutterstock; graphics by Julie Finlayson.