The other night we ventured to an actual sit-down-at-the-table-and-wait-for-your-food restaurant. It serves super yummy Mexican food that doesn’t have a “Bell” in the name. We don’t go to sit-down restaurants often because of the cost to feed seven people and because I have a phobia of one or more of my children having a total meltdown and having to do the “walk of shame” out of said restaurant.
When we walked in, I saw the not-so-friendly glances between the hostesses as they eyed this large family of children. When they seated us SMACK DAB in the middle of the restaurant for ALL to see, I was even more anxious. Please sit us in the corner where not everyone and their dog is watching us. We are a huge spectacle anyway, as not many families with five children eat at this kind of restaurant.
But that night was a Mommy Payday. My kids, all five of them, were incredibly well behaved. They were surprisingly patient and happy. We had only one small incident when the two-year-old threw a chip because the salsa was too spicy. (Handed him my iPhone and he was as good as gold the rest of the night. Cheating? Maybe. I didn’t care.) They tried new foods and liked them!! I was so proud of my kids. Maybe the many times we’ve talked about manners and correct behavior in public finally sank in a little bit. I kept telling them how great they were doing, and they beamed.
And then it was my turn to beam. A sweet woman, probably my mom’s age, came over to me and said, “You have the most beautiful family. You are so blessed. We have been watching you and are so impressed with how well your children behave.” I almost wanted to cry it made me feel so good.
How many times do we as moms get compliments like that? RARELY, if ever! We don’t get enough positive words like that and our paydays can be few and far between. That night, I decided that when I’m a grandma, I am going to compliment moms with children in public.
Then I thought, why do I need to wait until I’m a grandma? Why not start now? Why not compliment my amazing friends when their kids are well behaved at my house? Why not compliment people whose children behave well at church? Why not tell a mom at the park how cute her kids are and how kind they were to let my children play?
Can you imagine how great we would feel if we did this on a regular basis with each other? What if instead of comparing and criticizing we complimented and uplifted? Think of how encouraged we would all feel if we could make each other beam.
Moms unite! Let’s give each other more Mommy paydays! We deserve it!
QUESTION: Have you ever had a stranger compliment you on your children’s behavior? How did it make you feel?
CHALLENGE: Notice specific behaviors of children around you, and compliment their moms! Find three moms this week you can compliment.
Image by Nihko (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
I agree that we need to uplift each other! Great idea to compliment other Moms! That would make me feel so good!
I’ve received some nice random compliments from strangers over the years, I need to remember more to pay them forward. Thank you for the reminder.
One time we were at a farmer’s market and I had all five of my kids with me, several of whom were not behaving all that well. But I was very patient and kind through it all and we found a little spot to sit and eat some yummy food we’d bought. While we ate, a woman from a candle stand nearby came up to us and commented on how cute my kids were and how she’d been watching me (Oh no! I thought – the kids have been pretty crazy today!). She said she really admired the way I’d handled my kids and that she wanted to give me one of her handmade candles – a lovely lavendar-scented one – just as a little token of the light I’d been to her as she’d watched me that day. Wow. That sure made me feel good! And that candle was a most cherished gift.
Thanks for the reminder of how important it is to share positive observations and compliments!
Just reading this made me feel better today! 🙂 Those compliments can be so few and far between that when they do come along they feel like a million bucks! This was a good reminder that receiving AND giving words of encouragement do more good than we often realize. I’ve admired the courage of folks who will step up to offer a word of encouragement/praise to a total stranger. I’ve only gone out of my “shy” comfort zone to do it a few times for others, but reading this reminds me that it’s worth it. In fact, I think our judgment-oriented world needs a lot more of us to step up and encourage. Thanks for the reminder!
Thanks ladies! It really has changed how I interact with other moms. I try and always be positive and comment on things they are doing well.
Loved this, Cheryl. Makes me want to go out and start complimenting moms everywhere!
I love the challenge. What a wonderful way to pay it forward. Thank you for inspiring me!
Okay, you’ve made this my goal of the week. I’m determined to find 5 moms doing something amazing (which should be the easy part) and open my mouth to compliment them (which is historically the hard part). Thanks so much for sharing this wonderful challenge!
It’s so true! We all need encouragement. It reminded me to compliment another mom last night when her kids were so well-behaved through a 2 1/2 hour musical. (I had only brought by 5 and 8 year old and she had some younger ones.) Thanks for the reminder!
Great to have the reminder….I just wrote about what I do to keep my toddlers sweet in stores…but totally missed encouraging others to compliment the mamas….UGH! THANK YOU for this great term “mama payday’