This is a page from “Siblings Without Rivalry”–an excellent book full of great strategies.
If your children bicker and argue (and we’re guessing they do), what do you do about it?
In this week’s radio show, Saren and April discuss some of their own experiences handling sibling rivalry (some that work, some that don’t!).
They talk about when to ignore the arguing, which discipline strategies work best for them, and where they go for additional answers.
Once you’ve listened to the podcast, please share your thoughts below!
Show Notes
Join us April 30th, 2014 for a LIVE, free webinar with one of our favorite parenting experts, Amy McCready!
Family Systems Builder – Online Training (a great program here at Power of Moms that will walk through discipline strategies, how to teach about work and money, and how to build a strong family culture)
Books and Charts to Stop the Fighting (a post by April where she outlines her “chart” method and her favorite books about discipline)
Click here to view a PDF summary of the podcast.
Music from Creations by Michael R. Hicks.
Audio Editing by Christy Elder
Oh, this is a good one! I have 2 young ones and I’m already starting to see the competition especially with my older one who is really bossy. You gave some great ideas and I definitely will be going through the Family Systems Training class. Thank you so much for your helpful and insightful podcasts and radio shows as well as the blog and the classes you offer!
Thank you! This is so timely for me. So much arguing going on lately and I’ve been reading and praying and I got great ideas from this podcast. I am going to use a get along jar with popsicle sticks with jobs written on them they will work on together if they are arguing and can’t figure out a solution on their own. I also just read the chapter on sibling rivalry in Amy McCready’s book about this very subject.
We have a STAR OF THE DAY chart. It has solved 80% of the arguments! The star of the day gets to choose the book, say the prayer, help mom make dinner, etc. The star is also responsible for any little jobs mom asks them to do (wipe counters, hold the baby, make school lunches). This seems to keep everything as fair as possible and allows me also to have regular one-on-one time with each of my children every week.
Insightful and amazing conversation. This is the first podcast I’ve listened to and I feel good knowing I’m doing a few things similarly. One question I have is how do you handle when one child does not forgive the other after a fight/argument. We allow our children to choose this b/c they might not feel like forgiving right away. That is their choice and empowering for a bit but they always come around and we prompt them once they feel better to say I forgive you. Good stuff ladies!
Thanks Rachel! And I think you are absolutely right. We don’t force our children to forgive if they don’t feel like it right then. They can certainly take some time away to cool down, but we do insist that they come to a point where they are able to have a resolution and get back on good terms with each other. Every situation is different… So glad you visited us today!!!
Thank you so much for this fantastic podcast. I was especially relieved to hear the part about when meanness becomes a habit, because I definitely have that going on right now with my oldest girl (9). She seems to have been born with a naturally grumpy attitude- she’s just kind of always been that way- and having two little sisters and an older brother can be tough on her. Lately she just seems to always revert to negative comments and constant irritation with her siblings. I am going to talk with her about this and see what we can come up with. (We’re also giving her her own room this month, so hopefully having her own space will help.)
I loved what you said about, “Are you being as kind as you could be right now?” I will definitely start using that one. I am also totally making a seat rotation chart for the van! Oh my goodness. The van fights.
One thing my husband and I did one time for Family Home Evening was to switch roles with our children. He and I took some classic fights our kids have (he took my toy, she’s taking up the whole couch, it was MY turn to pick the show, etc.) and we acted them out (which wasn’t hard because we know the routine by heart) complete with the screaming, kicking, exasperated sighs, exaggeration, etc. The kids were laughing so hard they were crying, and we made them take turns being the parent and trying to make us get along.
It was hilarious for all of us (it was years ago and the kids still talk about it) and it helped them to understand how hard it is for us to try to be the peacemakers all the time.
Thanks again for all you do for us with Power of Moms. Has anyone ever thought of starting a Power of Dads? My husband might be more into it if he had some other guys to relate to… 😉
Kasey, your idea to reenact scenes with your husband is brilliant! Sounds like you are doing a great job as a deliberate mother. My husband and I are launching a platform that will help serve dads, as well. That will be coming out soon, hopefully! If there’s anything in particular you’d like us to cover in more depth here at Power of Moms–or on the new platform my husband and I are starting, please let me know!
xo