Are you clean and your child is messy? Are you focused and your child is easily distracted? What if your habits, preferences, or ideas clash with a child’s? How do you decide when to accept that particular behavior of theirs (even if it conflicts with yours) and when to try to change that behavior? How do you “pick your battles”? Saren Loosli, one of our Co-Directors, and Tiffany Sowby, our Trainer Manager, discuss some specific situations with their own children in which they’ve had to strike a balance between accepting certain things while still requiring what needs to be required.
Click here to listen to the podcast “What to Accept About Our Children”.
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I loved when Saren mentioned that we don’t try to change our neighbors and we accept some of their weaknesses, but maybe we aren’t as quick to be more accepting of our own children.
It’s funny, the things that drive me the most crazy is when I see my children portraying my own weaknesses. I get really frustrated when my daughters clothes are strewn across her room, but then I walk into my own and guess who’s clothes are on the floor as well. Guilty. I’m frustrated with my own weaknesses and I don’t want to see them struggle with the same issues. I’m a clean person, but those darn clothes just always seem to gather in a pile on my floor!
Love this you guys! You did a great job!
its not what i think but it is what my son is like, he is 6years old now and he is the only one. he likes playing with all his heart if it means that other kids will beat him or take whatever he is owning its fine if they are going to be around to just play, or go to my neighbours come home late. I really dont have an idea what can have for him because I bought him toys but he takes all of them to his friend’s house and never brings them back.
We have the same problem, I think it’s the only child thing, what I do is, I am more careful who I let him play with, and explain about friendship. The enighbor boy is NOT your friend if he beats you up, so let’s go and find you new friends even if they live further. It takes an effort from the parent I know, but it’s worth finding friends who are his equals, not little agressive bosses. I hope this help :))
My son is not me. My son is not me. My son is not me. Your podcast helped! I, too, get a bit obsessive about clutter. I, too, prefer an after school routine. I, too, want my child to grow up to be the very best he can be. The problem is that I always use MY measuring stick to determine whether or not he is achieving MY goals. I can tell you that I do NOT view the world with my mother’s eyes, despite her persistent efforts to assist me. I can also tell you that I am told that I am a kind & generous person. How does it happen, then? In reflection, it happens when we are shown acceptance, given accountability and are allowed to fall gently into learning who we really are at our core. I seem to have no problem letting my son fall face first academically, because I know he values his success in school naturally and won’t have to fall too many times before making the necessary corrections. I find that my trouble is when it comes to his personal grooming habits, organizational capacity and ability to stay focused on the not-so-fun tasks. I don’t want to come up with clever ways to trick him into compliance, but I don’t want to bark orders like a drill sergeant (which tends to be my operational standard) either. Since he isn’t me and he never will be, I need to move to acceptance. I’ve been told he is a good boy by everyone who interacts with him. Isn’t that enough? Isn’t at home where we ALL feel safe enough to let our weaknesses creep out. Why? Because at home is where the fall is gentle and the learning is safe. My mother raised a decent person, but it wasn’t the barking (don’t be fooled) that did the trick. It was because I was held accountable for my actions and was allowed to correct my mistakes on my terms in the safety of love and acceptance. Thanks for the reminder!