I’d had it. It was only three o’clock in the afternoon, and my “fun-meter was pegged.” The kids were driving me crazy, and I still had at least five hours to endure until that peaceful bliss known as the children’s bedtime. So what was a mother to do?
Well, I did what any any sane, modern mom would do. No, I did not run away screaming. No, I did not drain the nearest open bottle of red wine (although, the thought crossed my mind).
I logged in to Facebook.
Ah yes, Facebook … that strange and subtly addicting virtual world where productivity goes to die.
On this particular day, I felt I had “earned” my Facebook time. I had not done anything particularly wonderful, but I had managed to not strangle my teenagers, the house was relatively clean, and the little ones were all wearing clean underwear (I think).
So I sat down to my computer with a full glass of Southern-style sweet tea and began typing.
My status read something like this:
Things I have actually said today:
“Stop banging your head on the door…you’re going to break it!!”
“No, you can’t eat that…I have no idea how long it has been sitting in the car.”
“Get outside and find out why your little brother is squatting naked near the rhododendron bush.”
“Yes, you have to wear pants at the dinner table…we’re having company.”
“No, I am not going to smell that…just put it in the dirty laundry.”
“Why are you wearing a trash can on your head? (Pause as four-year-old explains.) OK, well make sure you put it back.”
“Who put Daddy’s cell phone in the refrigerator?”
“Just eat the dang cereal…it’s the only clean bowl I have, and no, you are not going to turn into a girl just because there is a princess on it.”
I got more likes and comments on this post than any of my “profound” posts. It’s proof that we all want to know that other families are just as weird as our own. I know I do!
QUESTION: What are some things that you have caught yourself saying that would sound completely ridiculous to someone listening in from outside?
CHALLENGE: Share one of your funny moments in the comment section below. Then go share it with a friend who may need a laugh.
Image from Microsoft Office .
Some of my favorite phrases lately:
No son you cannot put your dirty underwear and clothes back on after your shower and wear them to school!
Take the gummy bear out of your nose.
Put the black widow down!
The black widow?? Holy cow…that one would have done me in!
So funny!!
Hillarious stuff! With three little boys I find myself saying the weirdest things? I need t write them all down. One of my favorites wasto my 4 year old, “please stop pouring cups of water into the babies diaper!”
I love it!
I didn’t mean to pose that above statement as a question. Darn teeny tiny keypad! 🙂
My niece may have taken the cake: “Bubba, stop licking the toilet!”
Please tell me Bubba is the family dog :-/
Probably a one year old… I know that from experience, unfortunately.
With my middle daughter it was “stop licking the trash can you are not a dog!”
With my little guy “no honey mommy is not going to give your willy a hug good night🤪🤣