Video Store Escapades

Those long summer nights! My four daughters were delighted that after the seemingly endless winter, summer had finally arrived, bringing with it sleepovers, cousins, night games, and late-night movies. To prepare for one such night, I packed up my girls and headed to the local video store to pick out a movie.

As we walked through the door, the girls knew right where to go—the family section was just to the left. They excitedly moved through the rows and rows of DVD’s, grabbed various DVD covers and debated the merits of each potential choice. They were determined to find the perfect movie for that night.

I smiled to myself, enjoying their enthusiasm and feeling like a good mom. We moved to the aisle just behind the family section—the TV series. Suddenly my six-year-old daughter asked for me, with obvious concern in her voice. Before I turned around, I knew I wouldn’t like what I saw, but I wasn’t prepared for the shock it gave me.

I followed her questioning gaze to two DVD covers with cartoon images. Upon seeing it was a cartoon, my first thought was that it would be harmless. Then as the details of the images sunk in, I became sick to my stomach. I realized my daughter was staring at two pornographic DVD covers.

Horrified, I gasped, inadvertently attracting the attention of my other girls. I quickly told them to look away, grabbed to offending DVD covers, and marched up to the front desk with steam pouring out of my ears. With as much civility as I could muster, I asked for the owner or manager. Unfortunately, both were gone for the day.

So, the poor young people working there got an earful about the filth my innocent, little six-year-old had just found, including how grossly inappropriate it was. They just stood there staring at me . . . no apology, no real sign of understanding. I told them I wanted to hear from the owner or manager tomorrow. They quickly gave me the manager’s name, phone number, and working hours.

I was still furious. I wanted restitution. I wanted to somehow erase those images from my daughter’s mind. How could this have happened when I was right there to protect her? I wanted retribution. I wasn’t sure what to do next . . . storm out of the store with my hands over my children’s eyes never to return, run over the offending DVD’s with my car, or just forget about it all together. After all, what difference would it make anyway? No, I had to do something, something appropriate and meaningful—but what? How could I reclaim this situation?

I let the girls pick out their movie, quietly paid for it, and noticed relief slip over the employees’ faces as they watched us leave. As soon as we got in the car, the older girls wanted to know what my youngest had seen. “Well,” she began. Aaaaah! I quickly interrupted, and begged her not to continue.

Damage control! Quick! I said simply that she had seen a gross and inappropriate cartoon DVD cover. I told them that usually cartoons are safe and good shows to watch, but that there are some that are bad. We briefly discussed what pornography was and that even some cartoons could have pornography.

Was this enough, I wondered, to just talk to the girls? What could we really do anyway? Then, inspiration struck. I asked my girls a question. “Is it important to stand up for what is right and good?”  They wholeheartedly assured me that it was. “Unfortunately girls, there are a lot of things in the world that are gross and inappropriate. When we see them, we have to stand up for the right,” I explained.  “Sometimes that means walking out of a movie, throwing away a book, turning off the computer, or talking to the owner or manager.”

I told them we were going to stand up for the right by writing a letter to the owner and manager of the video store, which we did. Several days passed with no response. Then the phone rang. My eight-year-old recognized the name on the caller ID and rushed it over to me, declining to answer it herself.

The owner of the store greeted me and suggested that I knew why he was calling. I assured him I did. He then went on to express his own shock and dismay to find those DVDs on his shelves. He didn’t know who ordered them but assured me they would be removed. He further reported that he had instructed the manager to check over the entire store and remove anything similar, as we had requested. He voiced his agreement that no other child should be exposed to such lewd images. Then he thanked me for alerting him to the situation and said he had no desire to make money off material such as that.

We did it! Our letter made a difference. Something terrible had turned into something good. We were fortunate, of course, that he was a man of respect and integrity. I know this could very easily have gone differently.

But even if it had gone differently, without our objection making a difference to the video store or its customers, I would have known that I had made a difference to my children. And that is the difference that really matters.

As a mother, I wish I could be there to protect my children from every negative influence, but I know I cannot. Sometimes that makes me feel powerless.

I take consolation, however, in the fact that I can teach them to what to do when they come across filth. I can teach them to stand up for what is right. And, I can teach them to make a difference in their little corner of the world. In the end, it may or may not make a difference to the rest of the world, but it will certainly make a difference to my child. It may even make a difference, one day, to her child. And that makes me feel empowered.

QUESTION: Do you believe you can make a difference in the world? Do you believe the things you teach your children matter for more than just that moment?

CHALLENGE: Look for an opportunity to make a difference, and involve your children in doing it. Talk to them about what you are doing and why you are doing it. Write a letter praising the good or suggesting a change in your community. Serve someone in need. Turn off a questionable TV program, and then go do something fun together. Share what you did with others—on Facebook, in your blog, or simply by old fashioned word of mouth.

 

About Shawnie Sutorius

Shawnie lives in Idaho in what her husband terms an “estrogen ocean”. She is mother to four daughters ranging in age from 5-13 (see what he means?) Her life is finger nail painting and make up, dress up and tea parties, and fixing lots of hair, with plenty of emotion thrown in. Shawnie graduated from college in elementary education and uses her skills daily with her kids. Raising children is much harder than she ever thought it would be, but she is grateful. Her favorite things to do include: making photo books online, baking blackberry pies, organizing closets, and public speaking. Her favorite quote is by Cardinal Mermillod: “A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take."