Do the demands of life and motherhood leave you feeling depleted, frazzled, overwhelmed, and inadequate?
Would you like to feel more peace, happiness, and love in your daily life—love for yourself, your family, and your opportunities?
If so, join us for this podcast with Rachel Nielson, a young mother who went to counseling for an eating disorder and discovered concrete ways that all mothers can “break the cycle” of unhealthy stress in their lives.
Listen in as Rachel and April discuss specific strategies to do the following:
- control and reverse negative thoughts, particularly about yourself
- acknowledge and feel difficult emotions that you may be avoiding
- identify and implement behaviors that will maximize joy and minimize stress in your daily life
SHOW NOTES:
Click the image below to read the podcast summary:
**If you enjoyed this podcast, listen to Part 2, Listening To and Loving your Body through Intuitive Eating.
Articles about Controlling Your Thoughts
“It Is What It Is” by Rachel Nielson
“Thought Replacement Therapy” by Saren Loosli
“The Greatest Love of All?” by Allyson Reynolds
“The Surprising Way I Confronted My Eating Disorder” by Rachel Nielson
Articles about Feeling Your Emotions
Riding the Motherhood Waves of Pain and Joy by Saren Loosli
Articles and Resources about Implementing Behaviors that Minimize Stress and Maximize Joy
Mommy Is A Person by April Perry
Mommy’s Quiet Time 101 by April Perry
“Mind Organization for Moms” program
Books and Resources for Overcoming Eating Disorders
How Much Does Your Soul Weigh? by Dr. Dorie McCubbrey (Rachel’s counselor)
Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch (Ten key principles summarized here)
Rachel loves birthday surprises, summer sunsets, and a handsome man named Ryan. She taught high school English for five years before deciding to be a stay-at-home mom to their son, Noah Atticus, who was born in August of 2011. His little sister, Sally Grace, arrived in July of 2014. Rachel and Ryan consider both of their babies to be miracles, as Noah is adopted and Sally was conceived through IVF. When Rachel is not caring for the littles or picking up the house for the 100th time, she edits for Power of Moms and blogs about motherhood, infertility, adoption, eating disorders, her ridiculously cute children, and the ups and downs of daily life. Nothing gives her more satisfaction than capturing in words the deepest feelings of her heart.
Music from Creations by Michael R. Hicks.
Audio editing by Christy Elder.
Image from Shutterstock with graphics by Julie Finlayson.
Wow. Loved this! Comes just at a time when I need this. Thank you so much. I can’t wait to read all the books and articles that you recommended. I am reading “The Power of Your Subconciuos Mind”. Full of beautiful ways to change negative thinking. Thank you for reminding me to be patient with myself.
Thank you so much for taking the time to come back and comment, Nancy! I’m so glad you enjoyed the podcast, and I will have to check out that book you mentioned–it sounds great.
I’m only 2/3 of the way through, and I can’t wait to finish it later today. I listened to the first 2/3 the other night while I was doing chores, and I totally implemented some of the stuff yesterday when I started having bad thoughts about myself! So many great, realistic suggestions! THANK YOU FOR SHARING!
I’m so glad it was immediately helpful!! Thank you for taking the time to comment! xo
Thank you for sharing these great strategies! We were talking about this very thing in my Learning Circle this month, except one of the other moms called “filtered thinking” ANTs or Automatic Negative Thoughts. I like that term because they are so automatic until we retrain our brains.
Also, I am in the middle of reading A Mindful Way Through Depression and it thoroughly explains a lot of the principles you touched on in this podcast, especially accepting emotions without judgement. I would recommend this book to everyone. Although I’ve never been clinically depressed, I have had problems with emotional overreaction and wallowing in negative thoughts, and it is helping me overcome those habits.
I have heard the term ANTs before, Sarah, and I agree that it’s a great description! During my eating-disorder years, my negative thoughts were SO automatic; but now it’s become a habit for me to interrupt those thoughts immediately. I may still have negative thoughts come to mind, but I have learned to challenge them before they take me down the slippery slope (the cycle I discussed in my podcast). It is so amazing that we CAN retrain our brains. A friend of mine has told me about a book called “Learned Optimism”–I still need to read it, but I guess it teaches lots of strategies for learning to be a happier, more positive person. And I really want to read the book you mentioned. We will have to discuss more!
I think I’ve finally met my match. thank you for sharing, I’m halfway through and immediately went and looked up the program you went through. wishing so much that I could attend in CO! I need something like this so badly. everything that you described was everything I go through. and I just don’t know how to get control of it. how to stop eating. just wanted to say thanks. how awesome that you adopted you’re son and then had your daughter. adoption is such an amazing thing.
I’m so glad you found the podcast helpful–it means a lot.
You are not alone in your struggles! Try googling “Intuitive Eating counselor” along with the name of your city–that is how I found my counselor. It IS possible to overcome the cycles that you are trapped in. If there are no counseling resources in your area, you can start by reading some of the books I read in my therapy–links are included above. I can’t tell you how much it has changed my life!
Thank you for commenting, and I’d love to help you any way I can! Respond to this comment if you need further info!
Wow! This was very helpful information! I could really relate to Rachel’s experience as I’ve had a lot of the same thought patterns before. I loved all the personal examples which illustrated the principles so clearly. I can’t wait to hear the follow-up podcast about intuitive eating!!
I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I hope to record a follow-up podcast with April in January or February…stay tuned!! Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment. xo
Thank you, thank, you! This was extremely helpful in my life right now. Really looking forward to the podcast on eating disorders you mentioned.
I am so glad to hear this was helpful!! Yes, I am looking forward to the eating disorders podcast as well–so much to share about Intuitive Eating!! Thanks for taking the time to listen and to comment!
Really enjoyed this podcast and could relate (most things described, seemed like they were right out of my life). One thing that you discussed really struck a cord with me. When you talked about writing down what fulfills and what drains you…this is something that I struggle with. Since becoming a mom I really don’t know what I enjoy anymore. This will help me to become more present in the moment and hopefully I can figure it out.
Also when I was growing up I received praise frequently it seemed…your so kind, pretty, great cheerleader, etc. As a mother who is in the house most the time, there aren’t many people around praising me. I have realized I need to be happy with myself without having to be bolstered up by others.
Thanks so much for sharing your personal journey.
Yes, it can definitely be hard to figure out what *really* fills us, especially once we are in a new stage of life. A friend and I were just talking yesterday about how in our high school and college days, we loved to “do it all,” but now that we have little ones, we just aren’t the same people anymore–and now trying to “do it all” is just totally exhausting. It takes contemplation and reflection to figure out who the “new you” is and what is fulfilling and draining to the you, but it is worth it to take the time to try to figure this out!
Also, I very much relate to the desire for praise (again, from my younger years)–and it’s also an interesting journey to figure out what can bolster us from within when those verbal affirmations from others aren’t as common as they used to be. I am still trying to figure that out!
Thank you so much for commenting.
Ashley, you have hit on one of the KEY points of successful deliberate motherhood! Learning to figure out what fuels us and motivates us (other than external praise and rewards). I know you can do this. 🙂 xoxoxo
I listened to this when it came out, and just re-listened now and was reminded how often I need to hear things along these lines. I especially loved the reminders concerning ‘feeling emotions’ both the negative, but also the positive. Too often I skip the full feeling in order to hurry to get something done, or because I don’t trust that I am ‘allowed’ to feel so good because of some of the negative thoughts that tell me what I am doing wrong… such a great podcast. thank you for sharing all these links and resources too.
So funny that I listened to this for the first time today when we just had our POM meeting about acceptance and we talked about so many of these same things. Wonderful show (and I listened to it while I was doing dishes- thanks for getting me through that dreaded chore with your positive words!)
I have written posts about my struggle with technology addiction, and I have incorporated many of these strategies, especially finding my trigger points and learning to replace them with healthier behaviors.
Another thing that has helped me with my inner voice is that when something bad happens or I mess up (like your example of waking up late) I say, “Plot twist!” Kind of like your “It is what it is”, this helps me to acknowledge that something troublesome or difficult has happened and to give it some perspective. As a writer, that phrase “plot twist” helps me to see myself as my own main character/heroine in my story. In any story when the heroine encounters a plot twist, we don’t give up on her! It may get her down momentarily, but she always recovers for the happy ending. Just knowing my life will be full of unexpected plot twists helps me accept them in stride when they come and know that I can move on without it wrecking my story- in fact, that’s what makes my story interesting.
Another big thing that I’ve learned that gets me through bad days is to remind myself that who I am today is not who I’ll be forever. So yes, maybe today I still haven’t figured out how to keep up with the laundry and I have piles everywhere, but that doesn’t mean I never will. I’m still learning, and eventually something will click for me, just like it’s done in other aspects of my life that I didn’t have figured out a few years ago. I don’t have to be perfect today! I just have to keep trying.
It’s so important to mother ourselves as well as (or even better than) we mother our children. I sometimes think that Power of Moms could change the name to Mothering Mothers! Thank you for all you do for us moms. 🙂
I love the idea of saying “Plot twist!” I am a writer too, and this totally resonates with me. Thank you–I am going to use that! Have you read the book “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years”? If not, you definitely should. It is a memoir about a writer who learned to “live a better story” and used the principles of “story” to improve his life. Really interesting, and the audio version is great–I would suggest listening to it while you slug through the dreaded dishes chore in the future! 😉
I agree that we need to mother ourselves, and I love your comment about Power of Moms being about mothering mothers. I, too, have been so blessed by this great organization.
Thanks so much for listening and commenting!
Hi, I just dropped in to say thank you so much for this podcast. It really helped me yesterday, when I could feel myself starting to spiral into depression again. This podcast was exactly what I needed. Many thanks for sharing and for all the wonderful work you do here at Power of Moms.
Thank you so much for commenting! It means a lot to know that it was helpful! Depression is such a hard battle–hang in there, mama, and keep fighting! We are rooting for you!!