Ever have those moments when all of your children need you at the same time and you just want to cower in the corner because it would be easier than facing the task ahead of you? I have. Often.
For me it starts out with my twin babies playing on the floor until suddenly they are discontent. I’m almost positive they give each other a wink and a fist bump before they begin their first whimpers.
I go over and smile at them, trying to see if their toys hold any more interest. They take the toys, and I get up, thinking it has passed. Wrong.
I go back and pick up the one who is crying, but as I begin patting his back, his brother starts crying in protest that I didn’t pick him up as well. I’m calm. I’m cool. This isn’t my first rodeo.
I grab a nearby stray sock (because those are randomly everywhere, yet they are nowhere when I need them). “Look, a sock! Wouldn’t you love playing with this bright yellow sock?” He takes it and his crying temporarily subsides. Capitalize on the moment.
A binky. Where’s a binky? I begin to search the apartment.
Enter my toddler. “Mommy, can I have apple juice please?” He even said “please.” Stay positive. “Just a minute, Sweet Boy. I need to find a binky first. Could you help me?” He starts searching.
The crying in the living room is growing louder. My gaze narrows on the baby swing. Sometimes they love it; sometimes they hate it. It’s a gamble I’m willing to take. I strap in the baby I’m holding, and he doesn’t complain. Success.
I pick up the crying baby in the living room and start looking for the binky.
“Mommmmyyyyyy! Can I please have some apple juice nowwww?”
Whining. Oh, please, not the whining. “I’m trying really hard to find a binky. Just give me a minute.”
Just then the baby I’m holding spits up. I’m not talking about a burp with just a bit of dribble; I mean smelly, thick, half-digested milk gushes onto my arm and recently-vacuumed carpet. From the kitchen I hear, “Mommmmyyyyyy! Apple juuuuuuice!”
Something in me snaps.
Is anybody out there nodding your head in familiarity? Has anyone else abandoned all reason and gone to lie in the fetal position on your closet floor, wide-eyed and mumbling, “They eat, they sleep, they cry. They eat, they sleep, they cry.”
Let’s all take a deep breath.
Inhale . . .
And exhale . . .
Ahhhhh.
A lot of people would say differently, but surely Thomas Paine was actually talking about moments like this when he penned the words, “These are the times that try men’s souls.” Right? I’m sure of it.
And try, and try, and try your soul again they will. But luckily these are just moments. I remind myself often that this is just part of what my life looks like right now. Accepting the hard parts gives me more peace and more emotional space to think back on the sweet parts of my day.
I think about how bright my kids’ eyes get when they smile at me. How mushy their cheeks are when I nuzzle into them to give them a raspberry on their neck.
I think about how funny it is to watch the confusion on their faces as they look at their hands like, “Whoa! How’d you get here?!” Or how sweet it is to cradle them in my arms and have them stare up at me with those big, wide eyes.
I think about how incredibly soft their skin is. How their laughter instantly brings a smile to my face. How their chubby, warm hands feel when they’re excitedly patting my face. That big, dopey smile they get after they’ve downed a bunch of milk.
These moments are worth the times that try my soul.
QUESTION: What strategies do you use to see past the moments that try your soul?
CHALLENGE: Write down three sweet moments from your day today (or yesterday).
Edited by Kat Tilby and Sarah Monson.
Image from author; graphic by Anna Jenkins.
Tricia Prues, Post-Pregnancy Coach says
Love this post, Sarah! Thank you for the encouragement.
My daily time with the Lord is critical in helping me see past these challenges as a mom. If I don’t start my day with devotional time, I’m done for. Ha!
3 sweet moments from the past day:
*Yesterday I apologized to my 4 year old for being short with her. I asked if she would forgive me and she looked at me and said, “I love you, big Mama.” Not digging the “big” part, but I’ll take it!
*The way my son (18 mo) has started saying “Ha ha!” Cracks me up. I’ve been sick so his laughs and giggles help get me through.
*Seeing my daughter color. She loves it so much and it is such an awesome outlet for her.
Thanks for all you do, Sarah.
Sarah Porter says
Oh, I’m smiling along with you thinking about those sweet moments! Thanks for sharing.
Natalie says
This spoke right to my soul, THANK YOU for these wonderful words! It truly is a constant struggle not to lose my cool when both kids are crying/whining, so I appreciated your thoughts on the beautiful moments that make those trying times worth it.
Sarah Porter says
I’m so glad they were meaningful for you too. I’ve found it really helpful to record those sweet moments when I can and read through them every once in a while. It always gives me a refresher.
Nina @ waveforwellness.com says
For moments that try my soul what works best are moments of quiet time. Of course those are the hardest to come by so I just take deep breaths and try to make it until the next break.
But then again nothing beats the smile on my boy’s face when he wakes up and realizes today is the day we’re going to the pool. And his excitement when he goes on the waterslide by himself for the first time. And how he lights up when daddy facetimes him and he gets to tell him all of that. Priceless.
Sarah Porter says
Right?! My perfect morning would include thirty minutes of solitary reading and another 30 minutes of solitary walking outside. We do what we can.
I too love the look on my kid’s faces when they accomplish something hard/scary. It’s a gift to be a part of that process.
Nina says
Oh God yes, solitary reading! I have just put the little one to bed and I am going to watch this is us and do my nails, that works too 😀