Photo by DDpavumba at www.freedigitalphotos.net
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My last two babies are not only teenagers now, but licensed drivers. The eldest of my four children is set to marry in June and my college-age son is batting around career ideas. I’m trying to figure out what happened to all those little kids who used to run around and drive me crazy.
Whatever happened to the simple questions like, “Mom, can we have a piece of candy?” or “Which story are we going to read at bedtime tonight?” Now it’s, “How much of a homeowner’s loan do you think we can get with our credit?” or “What kind of science questions are on the ACT test?”
My brain hurts. It’s swelling, even.
I’m consumed with high school transcripts, college applications, and finishing out our home school year. We’re in the midst of adding an apartment onto our house for my aging parents.
Don’t get me wrong, I well recall the days of toddlerhood — the toys strung from here to kingdom come, long, sleepless nights, kids who wouldn’t eat anything. Those days, emblazoned in my memory, will never fade.
Yet sweet, sweet memories, little things they said, still come to mind. I’ll never forget rocking my son early each morning while he watched Barney. Or how my daughter belted out “A Whole New World” from Disney’s Aladdin movie: “INCORAUGIBLE FEEEEEEDWEEEEEED!!!” (“indescribable feeling”). And I’ll never forget how my youngest signed-off at the end of every drawing: “I like you and I love you.”
Along with the treasured memories, I also remember how I used to get carried away with the house cleaning. We’re talking toothbrushes to wash the floors and dusting every-other day. My standards drastically lowered as time and years pressed in from all sides.
Photo submitted by Ruthie Gray
Now our priorities are more about grades and grandparents’ health and less about dust and grime. Ah, the phases of life and the perspective we gain. But this, too, is a phase of life. It seems to be fleeing all too quickly. If I focus on the big stuff, I lose joy in the small stuff—this feeling of my kids all around me, the interaction, the funny moments, the joy, the laughter, the fact that they still love me even though I’ve messed up a hundred billion times over.
I’m learning you never actually get to the point where you know what you’re doing. Once you arrive at that point, your children have progressed to the next stage.
I may not know what I’m doing, but God knows what He’s doing, and that’s enough for me. He has blessed, and He will enable. I just have to come to Him, kneel before Him, and draw strength from Him daily. He is the One who ordained it. He will bring it to pass. After all, He knows the plans He has for us (Jeremiah 29:11). Who am I to think it is all “my plan” anyway?
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. One morsel, even. Not in months, weeks, or even days. In minutes, seconds, and little accomplishments.
Thank-you, God, for my VERY full life!!!
QUESTION: How has God given you strength through different stages of parenting your child?
CHALLENGE: Identify the little accomplishments you’ve made with your child this month and celebrate them together.
I can so relate to your thoughts on the different stages of mothering and the lessons we learn at each step. My kids are staggered a bit between the ages of 21-10. Babies and toddlerhood is a not-so-distant memory that I enjoy being finished with and dearly miss with equal conviction. I have enjoyed and worried about teenagers for a few years now and still have one in elementary school, so I feel like I have my foot in several different phases all at once. One minute I feel very tired and wonder if I can finish this elephant sized marathon. The next minute I am in tears because my little elephants are growing so quickly. Enjoy every minute of the good days and pray through the hard days. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for your insight, Cindy! I like your term “little elephants”. If only we could remove ourselves for a few moments each day to see the big picture – it won’t always be this way, and there are many sweet, sweet moments we will never regain. God is good!
Ruthie, I love your piece! I am a mother of 2 little girls ages 4 and 1. I am in Toddler World; full of toys, tears and tantrums. But also full of laughter, love and living! I sometimes have to stop myself because I keep hoping to get to the next stage. Thinking it will be easier. The truth is it is never easier just different. My daughter loves to sing the song from Rapunzel and dance around the family room. I too love snuggling in the morning with our baby watching Barney and kissing her head and smelling her baby skin. Thanks for the reminder. I will try to eat that elephant one bit at a time and try not to take too big a bite (I often do) God Bless!
Thanks so much, Anny! It is hard when they are so little, I sooooo remember the long days (and longer nights)! However, it is a simpler time, and the older they get, the more complicated it is. So you’re right – it doesn’t get easier (except when they can all feed and wipe themselves – now THAT is NICE!), just different and a new stage of “hard”. But oh, so rewarding!!! Take heart, you are not alone in this!
So good to remember! I have 5 from 2-13 and am finding great enjoyment in every stage. Probably enjoying my baby more at this stage than I did my other 4 because I now realize how quickly they grow up!
I amfinding the older kids hard things are about choices and is more emotionally draining that physical like it is wth newborns and toddlers!
Cheryl, you hit the nail on the head with that last statement! You have to work harder when they’re small, but you have to think harder when they’re older! God is able, He will enable!