The Perfect Storm

Have you ever had one of those school holidays (or “school breaks,” as those in the United States call them) when everything goes wrong? When 100 things all combine to make it horrible? We just had one, and I never want it to happen again.

 So what went wrong? Because I’m in the United Kingdom, I’ll start with the weather. It had been a very long, grey winter. I don’t mind cold. I don’t even mind having snow in April, but the grey is just depressing. It had been so bad that we couldn’t even escape to the park like we normally would.  Which meant we’d have to be in the house a lot.

 Then there are the children. My two oldest children, a six-year-old boy and a four-year-old girl, are normally great friends, but this holiday they annoyed each other. My daughter just didn’t want to play the games my son wanted her to—endless Lego starship fights aren’t her idea of fun, and he gets bored very quickly of playing school.

 There was also the baby. At 22 months she still doesn’t sleep well and needs me during the night. She was ill and her eczema and asthma had flared up, making nights even worse. Once she was well, she decided she didn’t want to wear diapers any more. “Well, just don’t let her take it off,” I can hear you say. But have you ever tried to keep a diaper on a child who really doesn’t want one on?? That just wasn’t an option.

 And finally there was me. Tired and hormonal. Anxious and depressed. I felt like a coiled spring and, sadly, that spring popped a lot. I shouted, I screamed, I cried—and all when we were meant to be having a lovely holiday together.

 Combine all those things, and you have the perfect storm. It was a nightmare holiday. Maybe you can imagine how it was. Kids fighting, baby weeing everywhere, and Mum alternately shouting or crying. The house was a wreck and the atmosphere was even worse.

 It wasn’t all bad. We saw some friends. We saw family. We went on a few outings. Once the weather improved, we went to the park a few times. But it wasn’t good enough. When I was tucking my son into bed on the night before school started back again, he said, “It was a horrible holiday, wasn’t it, Mum.” “Yes,” I said sadly.

 I never want that to happen again, so I thought through what went wrong and what we could do differently next time. Here are a few of the lessons I learned from our perfect storm of a holiday:

 Lesson 1: Have a structure for the day. We had too many days when we didn’t have any sort of plan. We’d stay in pajamas until dinner. We’d have lunch at 2pm when everyone was already hungry and cranky. Then I’d get frustrated when we had to be out of the house and no one was dressed. I’m not talking about a rigid structure that can never be changed, but just a framework for the day that we can break if we want to. The important thing is that you have something to scaffold each day.

 Lesson 2: Get out the house everyday—preferably in the morning. This should be easier in the summer when it is warmer and brighter, but possibly even more important during the dark and grey months. Make sure your children have clothes to dress appropriately for all weather conditions so that you don’t have excuses for not leaving the house. It is grim being out in the rain if the holes in your shoes are letting in water, but great fun if you have the right clothing and can splash in puddles.

 Lesson 3: Arrange more playdates. When my son and I were talking about what a dreadful holiday it was, he said he missed his friends. He loves being with people and especially being with children his own age. Hopefully if he gets time playing with his friends, he’ll also be happier to play with his sisters at the other times.

 Lesson 4: Attend to my own physical and mental health needs. I need to remember to eat healthy, do some exercise and get some time alone. I’ve got excuses and reasons why all of those things got missed this holiday. But I have to make it a priority.

 I’m sure there are other things I could do to improve holidays for both me and my children, but based on my experience this last holiday, these few things would make a world of difference.

 We are all going to have some holidays that are wonderful and some that aren’t, but I think it is important to have a bit of a look back and see what lessons we can learn. I’ll make more mistakes, maybe even these same ones again, but at least I’ll be a bit more aware and hopefully avoid some perfect storms in the future!

QUESTION:  Have you ever had a holiday when things really didn’t work out as you’d planned? What lessons can you learn from those “horrible” experiences? What can you do differently next time?

CHALLENGE:  Implement some of the ideas you came up with for how to make your next holiday better. Maybe it is having more structure to each day or planning to get exercise.

Image provided by Judie Wilcox

About Judie Wilcox

I’m a British Mom living in the UK with my gorgeous husband, boy (6), girl (4) and small (2). I’m a stay at home mom and the chair at my local community preschool. In my spare time, when I can grab some between playing with the kids, trying to clean and declutter the house, keep on top of laundry and helping to keep the preschool going, I like reading, sewing and exercising. I am not a writer, I don’t have a blog. I’m just a mom trying to make sense of this strange but amazing parenting journey. “