Spiritual Sundays: The Secret Is in the Sunset

Editor’s Note: The Power of Moms is a website for mothers of all religious preferences. Our Spiritual Sundays section is a place where our authors can write about thoughts that are more spiritual in nature, and our goal is to gather a wide variety of perspectives. If you (or someone you know) has something to add to this section to help us reach a wider audience of mothers, please send the submission to [email protected]. Thank you!

My mother-in-law raised four children all by herself, one daughter and three sons. She was a hero to her children and her grandchildren.  We were devastated when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer shortly before the birth of my first daughter in 2005. She went into remission three times, but by 2008, the cancer had spread to so much of her body that she was told to “go home and enjoy what time she had left”. The time we had left with her turned out to be only three weeks, but those three weeks changed my life and the lives of my extended family members forever.

I’ have often heard cancer referred to as an “illness of love”, and after watching my mother-in-law’s battle, I can honestly say it’’s an accurate description. During her final days, she made many requests for one of us to sit with her and hold her hand while she told us how much she loved us. Caring for her in those last few weeks brought me a new perspective on motherhood and the role I play in the lives of my children.

One thing my mother-in-law had mastered was never ending a phone call or visit without saying, “Love you!”” As her life drew to a close, her “regular ”Love you!’”” transformed into ““I love you’.”” I had never doubted that she loved me, my husband, or our children, but that small addition of an “I” brought the phrase to a whole new level. It was no longer a “Love you! Talk to you soon”!” It was an “”I love you. I truly do.””

Shortly after I had this realization, her health declined even more. One evening my sisters-in-law and I found ourselves alone with her in a dim and quiet room. As we sat there, my sister-in-law took that quiet opportunity to ask what her secret was to being such a good mother. She chuckled and said, “”Oh, there’’s no secret. I just looked forward to the sunset each day. I knew that if the sun was setting, then God was keeping His promises and everything was as it should be.””

Although she was not an outwardly religious woman, sunsets were a sign to her that God was there and that He was consistent, even when things in her life weren’’t. For her, the sunset was especially meaningful because it happened at the dreaded dinner hour—often the most difficult time of the day. In that quiet moment with my mother-in-law, the thought came clearly to my mind: The secret is in the sunset.”

There are many things that bring us strength in motherhood. For some, it’’s a short jog; for others, it’’s taking a moment to sit down and play a game with the kids, forgetting the housework for a while. For me, it has now become the sunset. A time of day when I realize that I’ve made it one more day and that He is there helping me out. Even when I feel frustrated with mothering because the kids are bickering, everyone is hungry, and someone just remembered they have a project due in the morning, there is always the sunset.

Motherhood is a challenge. We have difficult moments, even difficult days, but now the sunset is a constant reminder to me that we don’t have to do it alone.

QUESTION:  What is your personal sunset?

CHALLENGE:  Look for the small things in your mothering that are a reminder that you are not doing this alone. Make a list of these things that you can look back on and remember when mothering gets difficult.

Image courtesy of Evgeni Dinev/FreeDigitalPhotos.

About Kobie Hatch

I'm an Arizona girl with a deep love for sunshine and flip flops. Ten years ago I traded the big city for small town life with my husband of 11 years. We have three beautiful daughters (3, 6, 8) and will be welcoming a new addition in a few months. I (notice the use of I, not we) love surprises so we wait until the birth to find out the gender of our babies (my husband just goes along with my spontaneity even though he prefers predicability). We may be in for more pink or we may get to try a little blue for once. I love freshly painted nails, baking, popcorn and M&M's with my girls, a good steak and date night with my husband. I owe any and all wisdom I may possibly have to the influence of the good women in my life, namely, my mom, my late mother-in-law, my wise grandmothers and my sweet sisters and sisters in law.