Spiritual Sunday: Dream Big

My one-year-old son, Reece, has Down syndrome, and it is my hope that those who know our family will learn that people with Down syndrome are just like you and me – human.

Having a special needs child was my biggest fear about becoming a mom. I thought, “That’s something other people can handle. Not me. No, I can’t be THAT family, the family that everyone stares at.” But when you have a child with special needs, you learn to look past the label slapped on your kid before he was even handed to you in the hospital. You learn to trust that God knows what He’s doing when He sent you your “worst nightmare.” Because your worst nightmare can be God’s biggest blessing in disguise.
In motherhood, but especially in parenting a child with special needs, it is natural to find yourself comparing your child to other children. In these moments, you stand at a crossroads between two paths: one allows you to feel sorry for yourself because your child is behind his or her peers; the other empowers you to let go of the expected timeline of society and instead celebrate the little milestones and accomplishments, even if they occur months after other babies achieve those same milestones.   Children with Down syndrome have their own timeline, but the most important thing to remember is that they WILL achieve.

We had been working with Reece on clapping–oh had we been working on clapping!–for what seemed like forever. I thought if I could just see Reece clap, it would make my heart soar! We started with hand-over-hand clapping, then he moved to clapping our hands for us, but clapping his own hands just never seemed to happen.

What’s it going to take to get my kid to clap? I tried dancing like a maniac, making up songs, and other endless attempts to encourage Reece to clap. As parents, we tend to overthink things, we let our neurotic calculations get in the way of allowing things to happen naturally. One day at home, I watched him play with a musical toy, one that parents tolerate because music is good for our children, right? A song came on, and with a huge smile on his face, he clapped his hands in excitement.

My eyes were fixed on that simple movement, those tiny hands finally moving in sync, making the clapping noise I had so long awaited. And why was clapping such an achievement? Because it showed me that he was expressing his happiness toward something. That’s why we all clap, isn’t it? To show our appreciation and emotion toward something that moves us. That day in my living room, my heart did soar, and my dreams for him got that much bigger.

Some people may think that a person with Down syndrome cannot get a job, get married, live on his/her own, or change the world. They’re entitled to their opinion. But who am I to stand in the way of another person’s dreams? Because my kid…my kid’s gonna dream big.

QUESTION: Do you ever have times when you feel discouraged after comparing your child’s accomplishments to those of other children?

CHALLENGE: Encourage your children to do more and dream bigger by celebrating their successes and milestones, whenever they come, by doing something that is meaningful to them. That could mean cooking a favorite meal or greeting them when they come home with a room full of balloons.

About Alissa Rivera

Alissa is an Arizona native who is discovering what life is really all about through the world of motherhood. Married to Jeff for seven years, they both love their new title of “parents” to little man Reece, age 1. When she’s not chasing Reece or her two dogs Rory and Scooter around, Alissa enjoys spending time with family and friends, writing, crafting, reading blogs, surfing Craftgawker, and volunteering at her church. Reece was diagnosed with Down syndrome at birth and Alissa hopes to inspire and encourage other mothers of special needs children through her writing.