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Have you ever had “one of those days” where you are on the verge of tears every time you turn around?
Well, today is one of those days for me, and even though I know it will get better tomorrow, I wanted to put it in writing here on the website so that you know you’re not the only one who feels discouraged sometimes.
There isn’t anything particularly terrible about my life today. My children and I are perfectly healthy. We have plenty of food, a warm house, a car, flexibility in our schedule…so what’s the problem?
It’s all those little things that keep pushing me closer and closer to the edge:
-My two-year-old yells about everything.
-My two-year-old knows how to remove the child-safety-doorknob locks.
-My two-year-old runs faster than I do, toward busy streets, laughing excitedly whenever we go out in public.
-My 7-year-old gets mad at the 6-year-old for chewing too loudly.
-My 6-year-old chews too loudly.
-Somebody needs me every 30 seconds and wants to show me their picture or their story or their boo boo or their cool toy, and I want to be seriously delighted, but I start feeling torn in too many directions, and then I feel badly if I’m not “cherishing the moment.”
-My 10-year-old is way too perceptive of my feelings, and whenever a tear escapes from my eyes, she panics, “Don’t cry mom. Please don’t cry.”
-I wonder if I’m not teaching my children well enough because they seem to be whining and arguing whenever I turn around.
-We have two shirts in the garbage can right now because I didn’t use stain-remover soon enough, and then I feel badly that I’m wasting clothing.
-Our library books are overdue.
-I have six months worth of ironing hanging in my laundry room…un-ironed and not soon to be done.
-Our backyard is so tiny that whenever the kids play baseball or kickball, the ball goes into the park behind us. And when we finally gave in a few months ago and bought a couple of nice ladders, someone stole the one on the park side.
-I don’t feel safe enough in my neighborhood to let my children go outside alone, so we all have to stay in our little kitchen all day, and the noise level drives me nearly insane.
What’s funny is that I could have made this exact same list yesterday, but yesterday these things didn’t bother me. Yesterday I felt happy and productive, and I enjoyed my children, and life was great.
For one reason or another, our lives are going to seem too hard on some days. We’re going to want to cry and throw up our hands and say, “I give up!” But that’s when we have to take a deep breath, remember that things will get better, and promise ourselves that we will NEVER give up.
That’s why The Power of Moms is here. Because we need each other. I love it that I can get on the website and read about your experiences and remember why it is I’m doing all this. I love envisioning all of you out there trying to be patient, trying to enjoy your families, and trying to grow your best selves. I love that. I need that. Even just reading the comments you leave on other mothers’ articles lifts me. I get a little email each time a comment is posted to the general site, and it inspires me to see conversations taking place out there about the things that really matter.
Crafts, recipes, cleaning tips, business ideas…all those things are great, but what I REALLY need, and what I get from The Power of Moms is the strength to be the best mother I can be.
I started writing this article while I was crying about how hard my life felt. Now I’m crying because I just love you all so much. Thanks for being part of this with me.
Have a great day!
-April
QUESTION: How do you cope with having “one of those days?”
CHALLENGE: Write down a list of all of the blessings you have noticed today. You will feel a lot better.
Submitted on 5-1-2010 at 06:49pm
April, these thoughts are very comforting to me. Everyone’s comments help me see I’m not too unique in my roller coaster of emotions which is great news for me! My husband’s emotions are quite even so I can’t help but wonder what is wrong with me. One day I look at the laundry room, laugh and go to work. Other days I want to cry and crumble to the floor. I always feel so ungrateful when my mood isn’t cheery since I have so many blessings. I do think the way our bodies operate (i.e. hormones and other chemical imbalances) play a significant role so that’s just one more hurdle we women get to overcome. If we can harness those emotions properly, we become great nurturers. I guess the down days help us appreciate the up days. Glad to hear you’re having plenty of good days too.
Submitted on 4-23-2010 at 07:50am
April, thanks for just putting it out there. I often want to cry or put up my surrender flag. I like to compare it to chasing a train. I can never catch up and always feel like I’m behind the train. Where is the pause button, so that I can walk around and get in front of it? I especially want to cry when I’m in public with a 5, 3, and 2 year old. Mostly parking lots. They think they need handicap parking. How about preschool parking. It’s nothing short of a miracle that I can get my kids to and from the car with all of us alive. I’ve been teaching my kids to be “ducks,” hoping they can get a visual of how close I want them to stay by me. It rarely happens. So don’t worry, you’re not alone, and it makes the times when they are good that much more amazing and joyous.
Submitted on 4-20-2010 at 09:52am
I don’t know why we all feel like we’re “alone” with our struggles, but it certainly does help when you know others are crying right along with you. What’s funny is that ever since I wrote this article and started receiving comments about how other moms have crying days, too, I haven’t had ANY crying days. Whenever I start to feel down, I think, “Okay, this is totally normal. The moms I’ve connected with on The Power of Moms go through this, too. Things will look better tomorrow. I can handle this.” I’m sure I’ll still have tough days here and there, but suprisingly, I am getting stronger! Thanks, everyone
Vicky
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143.56.43.234 Submitted on 4-19-2010 at 11:36am
Ah, I loved your article! I felt like crying just this past Friday myself…I was feeling way too overwhelemed with my two sick children. Ugly, messy cleanups to be made throughout those long days…laundry awating me…dinner to be made also awaiting for me… I did no chores & just focused on them, those precious little souls but I was feeling overwhelmed myself & wanted to cry. Thank you for posting this, it is WONDERFUL to know that we ALL go thru these same emotions…I love it!!!
Submitted on 4-17-2010 at 11:28am
Pamela, I think you’re right about the “hormone” idea. The hormones are so subtle, so sometimes we don’t even notice that they’re affecting our moods. (I just ask my husband if I’m hormonal…he always knows :)). One thing that’s helped me is to “give it a few days.” Usually when I feel unmotivated or teary or frustrated more than the norm, I know it’s because something’s just a little off. Women don’t talk about this enough, but it’s SO important! I heard that during a woman’s 30s, the hormones are especially active. Isn’t that FUN?
Submitted on 4-16-2010 at 12:22pm
Most of my week has been this way. It is nice to remind myself throughout the day that I don’t always feel this way. I do wonder why the same things bother me one day but not the next. Maybe it is a hormonal influx or something 🙂
Submitted on 4-15-2010 at 09:33am
I’m sorry you’ve been having hard days, too, Allyson! We’re doing a very important work. Hope today is great for you!
Submitted on 4-15-2010 at 09:06am
Yes! I’ve had many days recently on the brink of tears! Thank you for writing this and especially for outlining the things that make you cry – I think all mothers can relate! It does make me feel less alone when I’m having one of those days.
Submitted on 4-14-2010 at 11:36am
Loved this post April!
Submitted on 4-14-2010 at 09:56am
What a great reminder. We all have those days, and I love when other mothers are honest so that we can see we aren’t alone!
Submitted on 4-14-2010 at 02:00am
Rachel, we’re both up WAY too late! I’m so sorry that you’ve had some discouraging days. My husband and I were talking about that tonight. He wanted to know why moms get discouraged. I explained how our lives are constantly stretching us beyond what we can handle, and even if we’re doing our best to keep the right perspective, we still have to fight through the “gravity” every single day. You’ll make it! We can all make it!
Submitted on 4-14-2010 at 01:11am
I love your post, April. The past 2 days have been discouraging. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who has days like that and that things will be better soon. I will NEVER give up!