Photo by Suvro Datta at www. freedigitalphotos.net
On the back porch of our old home was an empty, hanging flower planter. It sat there for months until someone (I’m still not sure who) placed an old, beat up nylon plant into it. In fact, calling it a plant may be a stretch; it was mostly just moss. Even though it wasn’t the most aesthetically pleasing thing, it suited a family of birds who made it their home.
Occasionally, I would hoist kids over my head to look at the small, white speckled eggs nestled there. And when they hatched, we pulled up a stool so the kids could peak into the nest all by themselves. It was a wonderful reminder of the beauty of life and nature. Year after year another family of birds would build their nests there. And year after year, we would watch those little eggs hatch into a little bird family.
Then one morning, we found a tiny baby bird on the hard cement . . . still hanging on. The nest was empty. Knowing there were undoubted cats prowling nearby, we carefully scooped up the little bird and made a home for it. We were determined to nurse it back to health. Google became our best friend, aiding us with ways to care for this bird.
However, try as I might, I could not save this little bird. It simply would not eat the food I tried to give it. I coaxed it. I tried gently prying its beak open, just enough, to place the tiniest amount of food inside. I tried and tried to help it understand that the food I was giving it would provide nourishment. I never wished so hard that I could speak this baby bird’s language. But no matter how hard I tried to show this bird the food would help him, he refused to eat. He refused to be nourished. And soon, he perished.
There are so many days in my life as mom, especially a mom of teenagers, that I feel similar feelings on so many levels–like I am trying to feed a baby bird who won’t eat.
We do the best we can as parents to provide a warm safe home for our “little birds”, and yet they often insist on perching too close to the edge or on trying out their wings a little too early. We can coax, persuade, and attempt to teach. But sometimes children are a little like this bird, they refuse the aid that is right in front of them. They refuse nourishment. And, oh how I wish I could speak their language.
The great challenge as a parent, I am finding, is helping my children see that the counsel their father and I give them will help them. It will strengthen them. It will protect them. I have been blessed with such wonderful children. And yet, I find myself wanting to “pry their beaks open” just enough to give them a taste of what lies ahead. And while, like the baby bird, I cannot force feed my children, I certainly can nourish them.
I can accept that there are times when my children will “refuse to eat”. But that won’t stop me from “feeding” them. I can teach through example. I can be patient. I can love them–no matter what. I can believe that although they may say they aren’t hungry, they are really taking in more than it seems. How can I believe this? Well, I remember what it was like to be a teenager. It seemed like it was part of my job to be a little obstinate and rebellious. But teenage years are just a phase. And unlike the baby bird, teenagers will respond, eventually, to loving parents who don’t give up on them.
QUESTIONS: What do you do as parents to help your children accept the counsel you have for them? How do you keep your children “nourished” even when it seems they don’t want it?
CHALLENGE: Ask the advice of a parent you admire and trust. Find out what thing or things helped them help their kids turn out well.
