Today I signed my youngest child up for pre-school next year. Being new to the area, I chose a school based on proximity and the recommendations of two moms I know and trust. That’s pretty much it. I didn’t investigate other schools in the area and grill them on their educational style and philosophy, nor did I make a spread sheet comparing and contrasting all the differences between said schools. Nope. I just kind of woke up yesterday and thought, “I’d better ask my friend who teaches at that pre-school if they have any openings left for next year. It’s probably time to sign up.”
Why such a nonchalant attitude?
My two oldest children went to the same academic based pre-school, run by a former kindergarten teacher who knew all there was to know to prepare them for that next big step. It was wonderful, and my children did really well. Both of them are excelling in their 4th and 7th grade classes.
My third child went to a play based pre-school that believed the best preparation for kindergarten was learning how to interact with others socially. Did I choose this school because her needs and personality were different than my first two children? Hardly. We just moved to a different state, so I went with the recommendations of family members that lived in the area.
I admit I felt some concern about her academic future, especially since I felt very preoccupied with my two older children’s activities and another new baby at home. Unlike the early years with my first two children, I no longer had the time to invest in doing flashcards and fancy workbooks–Baby Einstein videos would have to suffice.
So how did she do? Well, despite my negligence and all that gratuitous play time at pre-school, she’s by far the top reader in her 1st grade class. Go figure.
So for all the crazy grief mothers put themselves through worrying about whether the pre-school they chose for their child will catapult them onto the road to success or resign them to a life of bussing tables, I say: relax. It’s just not that serious.
I am a firm believer that our children come hard-wired with specific gifts, talents and inclinations (some academic, some creative, some social), and the parents and the home environment have much more to do with where they take all of that than anything. (When I say home environment, I don’t mean mom doing flashcards.)
And pre-school? In my humble opinion (and this is just an opinion, so you can go ahead and slam me with the research if you’d like), whether it’s play based or academic based, children are going to soak up all kinds of stuff. When you’re three, everything is a learning experience.
So if they are so quick to learn, why not send them to a pre-school that will teach them to read as soon as possible? If that’s what you want to do, go for it! But if you don’t, I say not to worry about it. They’ll catch up soon enough with the toddlers reading Shakespeare, and probably even manage to go to college and get a job.
A March 14 New York Times article tells of a woman who is suing her daughter’s $19,000 a year pre-school because it didn’t adequately prepare her for the asinine entrance test required for the elite private school systems of New York City. The suit even quotes specific news articles as saying, “It is no secret that getting a child into the Ivy League starts in nursery school,” and “Studies have shown entry into a good nursery school guarantees more income than entry into an average school.”
Wow. Really? Could it also be possible that the children going to $19,000 a year pre-schools come from a population of people that are already destined to make higher than average wages?
My husband became a surgeon after attending public school his entire life. And while I’m no surgeon, I graduated from college and have learned to function quite well in society despite my own years in public school and even a total and complete lack of pre-school attendance. In fact, my most vivid memories during my pre-school years are that of playing in a laundry basket of clean clothes while watching “Days of Our Lives” with my mother.
So how much does pre-school matter? I guess as much as you want it to.
QUESTION: What do you think? Does pre-school matter?
CHALLENGE: Tell me why I’m wrong.
There was a big universal preschool debate a few years ago here in California, and I remember hearing one expert say that by about third grade, children who attended preschool didn’t have any academic advantage over children who didn’t. By that stage–and forever after–home environment matters more. I can’t remember who the expert was (so don’t quote me!) but it makes sense to me. My oldest is in second, and already her success in school has a lot less to do with her preschool attendance, and more to do with my diligence in enforcing “homework time”.
Great to find this article now because I was just “stressing” myself lately about which pre-school to put our daughter in. I firmly believe that children are much better off at home, exploring things around the house, playing, snacking, napping, etc. I believe that at this age it’s all about playing & that is a good learning tool. Our daughter is 4 years old, she is bilingual & knows her shapes, colors, letters & numbers in both languages so what is the rush & stress in putting her in a pre-school? It’s all just to advanced & pushy to me, there will have a life long of learning. I think our society needs to retract back to the good old fashioned lifestyle in many respects, this one being one of the. We have decided to have her start regular kindergarten at age 5.
None of my children have done conventional preschool, and all of them have been reading before kindergarten, as well as knowing their letters, shapes, colors, and numbers, and even how to write. They also know a lot of other things, too. It’s not complicated–they stay home with me, we read books of all kinds (including ones that focus on letters, shapes, etc.), they work with me, they color and play with Play-Doh. They role-play: cooking in the real or play kitchen, dressing up, playing doctor, playing “mommy” or “daddy.” If they’re ready for more (I take cues from them), I show them how to write letters and numbers, and draw simple shapes (often they have figured this out without being shown). We also casually talk about letter sounds if we remember. If they tell me they want to read, I teach them. We also do “field trips” from time to time (like a children’s museum, a historical site, the zoo–hey, even the grocery store can be one, if you talk to your kids while you shop; just have a running dialogue about what you’re buying, what color things are, how many you’re buying, how much things cost, what the different employees do, where the veggies/fruit/milk/yogurt come from). We check awesome non-fiction books on all subjects out of the library, as well as educational CDs and videos. We have lots of books in our home. We listen to classical music. We have a couple of Hap Palmer CDs that we love to move to (they are great for preschoolers–and reinforce following directions, using imagination, moving the body, and a few academic concepts).
In my opinion, the home is the best and most important learning environment, and the sky is the limit in terms of what your child can learn at home. I really feel that the foundation parents set at home before attending kindergarten and subsequent grades has the most impact on how well a child will do in school. Also, the time spent with a child completing homework and reading (and showing support for what has been done at school) has a greater impact than just sticking a kid in preschool. Parental time, teaching, and support are essential for school success. Preschool really isn’t. My mom was a teacher for years, and she will testify that no matter what preschool your child is in, if parents don’t make education a priority from the time the child is very small, don’t read to them, don’t spend time with them, and don’t make sure they do their school work once they start school, there is a slim chance that child will be successful in school. Nothing can substitute for a culture of learning in the home, and a child knowing that mom and dad think school/learning is important.
“The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge, but imagination” ~Albert Einstein
He was a pretty smart guy;) I think he also said something like-“If you want your
children to be smart, read them fairy tales” but I couldn’t find the exact quote so
I guess we’ll all have to take our chances with that one!
I have always believed that preschool is a great tool to teach social skills. Children need to learn to interact with other children and preschool is a great place to learn this skill. My children have come out of preschool with so much more than just social skills and I can’t those all as bonuses. Each one of my children have attended simple in home preschools and they are in the top of their classes in school. Children need to be children. We don’t need to make them grow up faster then they already do.
I have a degree in early childhood education and everything I read and believe says that a play based program for preschoolers will do much more for them than drilling numbers and letters with worksheets and flashcards. Play stimulates their brain and imagination so much more! Let them be KIDS while they can!
That being said I have 5 children and could care less if they learn a single word or letter in preschool. I want them to have warm, loving interactions with another adult who adores them. I want them to have funwith children their age. I want them to learn to sit and listen at carpet time. I want them to sing fun, silly preschool songs, build with huge wood blocks, ride tricycles outside and be a well rounded child! The study that they all balance out by 3rd grade is true and why not let them have fun and relax while they are young children!
Ironically, I AM a professional preschool teacher and still agree that HOME is best for little ones. 🙂 All the research I have done proves that children truly learn best through play in an environment where there’s warmth and love. That can occur in a home just as easily as any good preschool. I LOVE teaching, yet some days I think I do it for the parents who need a break more than the children. lol
i think preschool is mainly a break for parents. if parents actually observed even fancy preschools the whole day they’d probably find that what the child gets depends either on having a SUPER teacher or the child themself. A gifted child with social skills will get it all. a gifted child with poor social skills will tune out most of it. an average child will get very little and probably run around alot. a less than average child will prob benefit because they will get the most attention and at least work on some useful skills. thats my take. i think preschool is great in small doses because mom gets a break to recharge. in big doses, i dont think it does crap.
Awesome article! I have been kinda “beating” myself for moving my 3 y.o older from a Montessori preschool to a play-based preschool because I believed she wasn’t happy where she was. She hasn’t attend her play-based preschool yet so I don’t know who she will be. But I’m glad I’ve ran across this article. I now can stop stressing about my decision and spend more quality time with my daughter, knowing that she’ll remember her time with her mommy more than anything she’d learn at school. Thanks a bunch!
So happy to find this article & discussion. My son is 2. He is and will be our only child. My husband’s company shut down when I was pregnant. As a result, my husband stayed home with our son full time as I returned to work. It worked so well we decided to keep it going & learned to live on one income. Our son is SO healthy, secure and happy spending days learning puzzles, colors, numbers, letters, and going on adventures with dad during the day and both of us at night & weekends. I so want to continue this but have been “cautioned” by friends and family that he NEEDS a good preschool or he will be at a social and/or academic disadvantage. I’ve shed many tears about the prospect of putting my son in a preschool when I know he loves being with us 24/7. We may rethink this.
Great article. You cannot overestimate the advantage your child has by learning to read early. I got my kids started early to read…before they ever entered kindergarten. I can’t overstate how much it helped their overall confidence level in all subjects. My boy started reading before age 3. As he entered first grade they told me he was reading on the 5th grade level. Kids love reading when they can learn with no pressure.