We all lose our cool sometimes. Motherhood is hard, and we’re none of us are perfect. That being said, can we do better? On her blog, Hands Free Mama, Rachel Macy Stafford, in a painful confession, shares that she wasn’t able to control her temper amid the every day annoyances of raising her children, and how her yelling affected her family:
Yes, it was those things—normal mishaps and typical kid issues and attitudes that irritated me to the point of losing control.
That is not an easy sentence to write. Nor is this an easy time in my life to relive because truth be told, I hated myself in those moments. What had become of me that I needed to scream at two precious little people who I loved more than life?
[…]
Inevitably, I had to fall apart somewhere. So I fell apart behind closed doors in the company of the people who meant the most to me.
Until one fateful day.
My oldest daughter had gotten on a stool and was reaching for something in the pantry when she accidently dumped an entire bag of rice on the floor. As a million tiny grains pelleted the floor like rain, my child’s eyes welled up with tears. And that’s when I saw it—the fear in her eyes as she braced herself for her mother’s tirade.
She’s scared of me, I thought with the most painful realization imaginable. My six-year-old child is scared of my reaction to her innocent mistake.
With deep sorrow, I realized that was not the mother I wanted my children to grow up with, nor was it how I wanted to live the rest of my life.
Is it possible to stop yelling? Rachel did. The process of change was hard and slow, but she did it. And she wrote about her experiences. The best part? How her daughters were able to follow her example, and in a moment of painful distress, were able to respond compassionately to their mother. Read the story at The Important Thing about Yelling.
Rachel’s mission is to provide individuals with the inspiration, motivation, and tools to let go of daily distractions so they can grasp the moments in life that matter. Join her on her journey to a more meaningful life at www.handsfreemama.com and by visiting “The Hands Free Revolution” on Facebook! Rachel’s book, Hands Free Mama, which is an inspiration guide to transforming a distracted life into one of meaningful connection, will be available in January from Zondervan publishers.
I read Rachel’s blog and it motivated me to try to stop yelling as well. It had clearly gotten out of hand. I am going on one month with only one error that I quickly redirected. I needed to see this in writing. Thank you.
Thank you, Debbie! This means so much to me. I am so inspired by you. Thank you for sharing your own story of hope.
Iam excited to read your blog. My 2 boys (9&10) and I had a family meeting tonight and they told me
my fuse was too short! Code….stop losing it mom! I admitted to it but 20 minuets later i was gritting my
teeth because they were not in bed! It’s wearing us all out…..they haven’t seen their Dad for almost 2 months and i know they are distressed about it. I have so little time to myself but i look forward to a better way of doing things!
Thank you for linking to this article. This is an issue that I struggle with, so I’m grateful for any help that I can get with it.