Maybe you’ve seen the post, Dear Mom on the iPhone, that’s been passed around all over Facebook? It’s a nice reminder that we need to enjoy precious moments with our kids and not allow technology to suck us away from what matters most. But it also seems to have caused a lot more guilt than some moms really need to feel.
At Power of Moms, we recognize that not all technology use is created equal, and we all have very valid reasons to use our phones, laptops, e-readers, tablets, or what have you. And that’s why we loved In Defense of the iPhone Mom on the blog “Growing in a Shrinking Culture.” We love that the author rightly points out the many good reasons mothers have for being plugged in. Even more, we love her exhortation to stop looking for what other mothers are doing wrong, and start encouraging and supporting them in the things they’re doing right.
What do you think? What “policies” do you put in place when it comes to your own screen time? How and when do you give yourself permission to have a little screen time without the guilt?
Image from Dear Mom on the iPhone
I definitely see both sides of this issue (and I loved the recent Power of Moms article that addressed how moms occupied with technology isn’t necessarily all that different with moms of previous generations who spent a lot of time on the landline phone). I do think that I spent too much time online, and most moms probably do too. But I also acknowledge that we can’t just automatically assume that every mom on an iphone that we come across is addicted and neglecting her kids. It is impossible to know for sure without knowing the whole situation, so it probably is better that we give moms the benefit of the doubt. I myself don’t have a smart phone, tablet or even a laptop, so when I’m in public, I’m pretty engaged with my son. And truthfully, even when I’m home I think I spend more time with him than average. A lot of my online time is valid, but I still spend more time on the computer than I should. That being said, my son would love for me to sit and stare at him or play with him every minute of the day. I spend a lot of time with him, but from his perspective it would never be enough. I have more than my share of special moments with him, and I am thankful for reminders to savor them and appreciate them, but I can’t do it every minute of the day. Sometimes it is reasonable to tell a child to wait a minute. It’s all about balance. I know I’ll never achieve the perfect balance, which is why I’m grateful for articles from both perspectives.
I think both of these articles are a great contribution to this discussion about how technology is impacting motherhood! Thank you so much for posting! And what I love about the second article is the message that we just don’t know what other people’s lives are like, and we should not immediately assume the worst of them from witnessing one interaction between them and their children. Let’s give other moms the benefit of the doubt!
I personally try to keep my “me time” limited to when my children are sleeping or not with me, which is not often being that I am a full time stay at home, homeschooling mom. But I also want my children to recognize that they are not the center of the universe…that I spend a lot of time with them as a whole, and individually, but sometimes it is ok for them to be on their own and learn to play and discover without me hovering over their shoulder. I don’t want them to be incapable of having adult relationships that don’t 24/7 focus and revolve around them, so I want to teach them now how they can recognize that, “Hey, that person has something else to do…that doesn’t make me any less important or loved by them, but it still needs to get done.”
So interesting to have these two ideas paired. Sometimes it is discouraging to see moms so locked into their phones or to see them hand them to their kids in lieu of interacting. But I do appreciate the other side of things as well, and that we all need a break. It is safe to say that mothers NEED those moments to ‘check out.’ For the ages of my kids and the stage of life I am in now I have found it best to limit my screen time while they are awake. It doesn’t mean I avoid it all together, but I try to limit any extended computer work when they are up. Basically for me, it all comes down to not judging others, while also remembering to do the best I can.
Love this. I know my iphone is the hardest working machine in the house. Thinking back on Tiffany’s “Busy or Distracted?” post, I get SO MUCH work done on my phone while I’m out and about so that when the day is winding down or when I really need to be present I can. That being said (like everyone else), I still feel like it’s too much! It’s the curse of being the first generation of mothers to deal with this. I’m sure things will be much more streamlined in the future and I hope mothers will continue to get better at simplifying, but right now I think we are all struggling with information overload.