In her poignant, beautiful, heartbreaking essay “The Gossamer Veil,” author Laura Fanucci of the blog Mothering Spirit reflects on “how we carry loss.” She shares the seasons of grief that she experienced after her own miscarriage and extends her heart to any woman who has lost a baby.
“There will come a day when I don’t think about it immediately upon waking, while I blink to reorient myself with the dawn. When the words ‘I should be pregnant’ or ‘we lost a baby’ don’t stream through my head while I wash breakfast dishes. There will be school runs and work meetings and yard work and weekend projects, and the world will settle back into the boring where we can function unthinking.
The morning after that day, the unthinking day, I will feel both sad and grateful. Weepy that the grieving is moving on and thankful that things are becoming everyday again. I will hug the boys tighter and they will squirm away with smiles and we will keep plodding on with the holy ordinary of living.
But somewhere the veil will be lifting for someone I love. It has been ever thus, that life and death dance hand in hand. And maybe the only true and faithful way to go on is to go through – not to deny one ounce of emotion but to promise to feel it all, to honor how this has changed me, will continue to change me, will never be a smoothed healing but a small scarring that shapes who I am and what I become.”
This profound post is a must-read for anyone who has experienced loss. Please go to Laura’s blog to read the entire essay, and share with any friends who may be searching for solace and companionship in their grief.