Do you feel this urge to “jump in” whenever your child has an issue with a peer or an adult? Do you sometimes get yourself too involved and then wish you’d just given your child a little space?
Join April Perry, Power of Moms Board Member Rachelle Price, and Power of Moms Community Member Danee Davis as they share their own experiences and the basic principles they’ve learned about helping their children handle tricky situations that can arise.
Click here for a PDF Summary of the Podcast
Music from Creations by Michael R. Hicks.
Audio Editing by Christy Elder
Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Loved listening to this while I was doing dishes today! So much good advice- I am eager to share some of these techniques with my kids.
One thing I try to remind my kids when someone says something mean or hurtful to them: “Is this something you would say to someone else?” They usually say, “No way!” Then I say, “What people say about you says a lot more about them than it does about you. This person is someone who would say something mean, and you are not.” Then we talk about the reasons why people say mean things- they try to bring other people down because they’re sad or they don’t feel good about themselves, usually. Then we have a chance to talk about ways we can support this person and “kill ’em with kindness” as you said.
Sometimes when my kids are just picking at each other and one says, “Mom! He called me a baby!” I’ll get a very confused look on my face and say, “But…you’re not a baby.” They’ll say, “I know!” And I’ll shrug and say, “Well, clearly he was confused. You’d think he’d know by now what a baby looks like…” The child who was being unkind usually kind of rolls their eyes and feels a little bit silly for a minute and the “victim” gets a good giggle out of it.
I am one of those people who gets along with everyone, but there have been two people in my life that I had to learn that hard lesson about, people I loved but I had to accept that having a relationship with them simply wasn’t healthy. One was a friend in middle school whose only way of connecting with others was teasing them. She always put people down in a “joking” way, and if it bothered us she said we couldn’t take a joke. I finally realized that yes, I couldn’t take a joke, so we couldn’t be friends. It was an important lesson for me to learn.
The other one was someone I know from church who is very easily offended, and it seemed that I was always doing something to upset her. She also always feels the need to judge everyone around her and how they do their callings or parent their children or live their lives. I jumped through hoops for awhile to apologize for offenses and try to live up to her expectations, but I finally realized that I just always felt like I was walking on eggshells around her. She was like a grenade, always about to go off. I chose to distance myself from her. I still smile at her and chat with her casually, but we are not close, and it has been much easier that way (especially not having to listen to her gossip and criticize EVERYONE!). I pray that someday she’ll have enough self-love and confidence that she won’t feel like she has to constantly criticize others.
Thanks again for this wonderful, thought-provoking show, ladies! Good stuff!
I really appreciated these beautiful thoughts, Kasey! Thank you for taking the time to share them. Love how you’re teaching your children–and I love how you’re learning to distance yourself from relationships that aren’t healthy for you. Such a smart thing to do. Grateful to have you here at Power of Moms!