Is keeping a journal one of your New Year’s resolutions?
I have been an avid record-keeper since I started my first “Jernel” at age 7. That yellow binder is filled with crayon scrawlings of some of my deepest thoughts and questions, such as “Today we are going to a picneak. What will I eat there?”
This journaling habit continued into my teens and young adulthood, and, fortunately, my entries became more meaningful over the years. I have spent hundreds of hours and hundreds of pages chronicling the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows of my life. From meeting my husband on a blind date (yes, there’s a journal entry!) to watching my mother suffer with breast cancer, it is all included in my journals.
Since becoming a mother, however, it is much harder to find blocks of uninterrupted time to sit, reflect, and write. It would be easy to let journaling become a thing of the past, but it is so important to me that my children have a record of the beautiful moments in their lives, as well as a record of who their mother was and how I grew and changed throughout my years of parenting them.
If, like me, you want to keep a journal but struggle to find the time as a busy mother, here are five tips:
- Type your journals.
This isn’t as “personal” as a hand-written journal, but, for me, it is more convenient. I can type much more quickly than I can write. This also gives me the opportunity to paste emails, blog posts, and other correspondence that I’ve written or received into my journal document. I also title my journal entries in bold, right under the date, so it’s easy to scan through my typed journals and find certain entries or themes across the year.
At the end of every month, I print my journaling and put it into a three-ring binder. Then I hole-punch anything that I would like to save from that past month—a nice note from my husband, a drawing from my son, a copy of the talk that I gave at church—and put it into the binder right behind that month’s journaling. This is a way to keep the mementos of my life visible and in context, instead of just tossing them in a dusty shoebox. I add journaling to this same binder every month for the year, and when the new Year comes, I start a new binder.
I don’t always have access to a computer when something that I want to journal comes to mind, so if I find a few minutes to write while I am waiting at a doctor’s office or sitting in a boring meeting, I get out a plain piece of paper from my planner and write a quick journal entry or gratitude list. These sheets get hole-punched and included at the end of the month with the other mementos. I’m glad that my handwriting will be included for future generations to see, amid all that typing.
- Keep a note of memories in your phone.
As busy moms, we experience moments every day that we’d like to capture immediately, but we simply can’t sit down and write a journal entry in the midst of a crazy afternoon with the kids. To make sure that I don’t forget the little things, I keep a note in my phone of funny quotes that the kids say or perfect moments that I want to remember. I will sometimes just jot down one word to “trigger” the memory. When I eventually find an hour or two to journal, I pull up the note on my phone, and it is such a relief to know that those moments weren’t lost and forgotten in the shuffle of life.
- Find a routine time.
Try to find a time when you can make it a habit to journal. My sister used to do this during the communion portion of her church meeting, when it was quiet and she could reflect on her week and her blessings; it is much harder for her to do this now that she has a busy toddler climbing all over her during the service, so as soon as he has gone to his Sunday School class, she will often take the first few minutes of hers to quickly jot down a few thoughts and memories from the week.
You could set aside an hour on the last Saturday of the month and write it on your calendar as an appointment—or even get in the habit of writing as you sit next to your husband on the couch while he watches a weekly sporting event. Whatever your routine, try to make journaling a convenient and consistent part of it.
- Use a one-sentence journal.
If you are not much of a writer, and you wouldn’t enjoy journaling for an hour even if you did have the time, perhaps consider writing one sentence per day. This is the idea behind a “five-year journal,” and it gives a surprisingly thorough overview of your life, one day and one sentence at a time. I would suggest being as specific as possible in your one sentence, capturing a favorite quotation from one of your kids or describing a particular moment from the day, whether it was a magical moment or a terrible one. My favorite gratitude journal is formatted this way—with a small space to write one thought each day.
- Just keep trying.
Above all, don’t worry about your words or your system being “perfect.” You don’t have to be a beautiful writer to keep a meaningful journal. And if you miss a few months of writing due to a very busy or difficult time in your family, don’t get bogged down trying to “go back in time” and recreate everything. Just start from today and move forward with the commitment to capture as many feelings, moments, and life lessons as you can, for the benefit of yourself and your children.
I love flipping through my journals at the end of the year. Reading the bolded titles of my entries often sparks memories that I might otherwise have forgotten; seeing the cards and mementos I have collected fills me with gratitude. I am more able to recognize my growth and my blessings as a result of keeping a journal, and I hope I will never give up the habit, no matter how busy I become as a mother.
QUESTION: How do you chronicle your memories and growth as a mother?
CHALLENGE: Start a note in your phone to record precious moments with your children. You can refer to this note when you have time to write a more detailed journal entry, or you can simply email this note to yourself and print it out.
Edited by Sarah Monson.
Image from FreeDigitalPhotos/grauer codrin. Graphics by Anna Jenkins.
Thanks for writing this! The most guilt I feel in my life is from not taking the time to write down what is happening. I was so good at journaling before I got married, and it’s just not a priority to my husband and so sadly, my regular journal time (at night) has become our time to be together. I also feel guilty about not handwriting things–but I do love the idea of typing and then including the little things. My biggest fear as a mother is that were something to happen to me, my children wouldn’t have a record of how much I love them. (They are all four and under.) Your post has inspired me to redouble my efforts and to remember that it doesn’t have to be perfect. Done is better than perfect even if it’s just one line. Thanks!
“Done is better than perfect” is one of my life mottos! I constantly have to remind myself! Another one I love is “Something is better than nothing” which is very true for journaling. I’m glad this article inspired you–I know you can make time for some simple journaling so you no longer have to feel that guilt! I love the gratitude journal that I linked in the article–that might be a good place to start. One memory per day.
My mom passed away when I was 19 and she never journaled–oh how I wish I could read her words when she was a young mom like I am now! I think that’s part of the reason that I feel so compelled to journal. I never want these precious memories to be lost, and I always want my children to know how much I loved them and how hard I tried to be the best mother possible to them.
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. Let me know if you find any other great journaling tips for making it doable!
Love your advice to help more moms journal! Like you I’ve been journaling since I was little but since becoming a mom I’ve had to really make the extra effort to make it happen. So worth it!
What are your tips, Sally? How often do you do it and how do you make time?
I journal 3-5 times a week. I use Google docs and type up my journal entries on my laptop. Usually I’ll say something like,”Hey family: I’m going into my room to journal so don’t bother me for 20 minutes!” And miraculously they leave me alone! 🙂 My youngest is 18 months so I make sure he’s happy and safe first. Ofen my husband helps out.
I type notes of funny moments and things my kids say on my google docs app on my phone. Sometimes I’ll even scribble something down in a notebook then transfer it later.
Journaling is important to me. It helps me feel centered and releases pent up energy I’ve been storing up in my brain. I have to make it a priority or it simply won’t happen with everything else going on.
Loved this! Thank you!
You’re welcome–thanks for reading and commenting!
This is wonderful!! I love this. One thing I did with my babies was keep a spiral notebook to jot updates in. I didn’t think it would turn into anything special, but it is fun to look back and see a few lines every other week or so (or month or..4) as they grew. My most successful trick to being consistent with journaling is to tell myself I can ONLY write for 5 minutes or less. Then I feel good when I get a little in, and often surprise myself by getting to write a bit more. 🙂 Great article!
LOVE the five-minutes or less idea! And going four months without writing is okay too–sometimes I definitely go that long. Something is better than nothing!
I used to journal and scrapbook regularly, but like many others that became harder after having children. What has worked for me is to have a blog…connecting the photos I’ve taken with writing and feeling like there’s an audience (albeit a small one…really just my family and a few friends) motivates me to keep it fairly up to date…and when I do get behind, I have my photos labeled and stored chronologically so I can quickly see what I need to journal about. Certainly some of my posts don’t have photos and I don’t capture every moment, but it helps. Then I print my blog into a nice hardbound book at the end of the year. I do also have a journal to write in for moments or emotions that are too personal to put online or share with others. Great ideas. Thanks for sharing. I do like the idea of adding your momentos right there in the journal.
I love blogging too, for all the reason you mentioned! Which service do you use to make your blog books?
I was doing so well at journaling until about a year ago and I just stopped making the time to write. Writing does not come easy to me. I have to motivate myself to want to journal. However, it is so important and I need to make time to do it at least once a week. Thanks so much for the encouraging and timely article!!
Maybe you should try the one-sentence journal? If you just capture one moment from each day, maybe the writing part of it won’t feel overwhelming and therefore won’t require “motivation” (which can be so hard to come by as a tired mom!)
Loved reading this! I’ve always been an avid journal writer (in a variety of forms) and always hoped one of my children would catch the journaling bug, rather than me have to nag them. Surprise of surprise! My 8 year old, whom I recently was reading my childhood journal to, has seemed to catch the bug. He’s written in it every day this week plus and commented last night, “I want to write in here every day forever.” Love fellow journalers. xx
I’m glad to hear that it’s your son who is interested in journaling! I have been worrying that maybe it’s just a “girl thing” and my son will never be interested in what I have written about him. I have spent hours journaling his adoption story and memories from his life, and I hope he will be interested in reading some of it someday. If not, maybe his wife will! 😉
So fun that your son has caught the journaling bug–it really is cathartic and such a great way to process what we are learning and experiencing in life!
I really enjoyed reading this and I feel inspired in some ways that I can better record our life and memories.
One of the ways I have been keeping record has been a chronology. I just make a note of important events and their dates. My husband’s grandmother has done this, and it’s fascinating to flip through an entire lifetime in just one book. I have found that in the moment, we love to capture detail – which can be great – but looking back and especially for later generations, it’s really nice to have an easy way to review the highlights.
Question: do you use journaling for processing thoughts and feelings, more like a diary I suppose? If so, do you include it where it’s accessible to everyone? How do you organize the more personal and intimate thoughts and feelings you record?
Great question! Yes I process thoughts and feelings in my journals, like a diary. It is personal, but I am okay with my children reading it someday. I am a super open person, so it’s okay with me if they read about some of my not-so-pretty emotions. (They will certainly have their own ugly emotions someday, and I want them to know they aren’t alone in that!)
When I need to write about some of the “tough stuff” (like perhaps a relationship with a family member that is difficult), I try to write honestly but also respectfully, keeping in mind that family members may read what I have written someday. I don’t brush over the issues that are bothering me within that relationship (as I want my children to know how to work through issues of their own), but I also don’t rant and rave about the person. I don’t know if that makes sense.
I also think it would be totally fine to have a separate journal or document that is just for you and will never be seen by anyone else. You could write out some of your hardest emotions there and keep the family journal a little lighter.
I did have one experience in my life that I couldn’t journal about because it would’ve compromised the privacy of someone I love, so I wrote about my feelings in a private document and then when things were resolved, I just destroyed that journaling. In general I wouldn’t recommend this, as I think we do need honest and real records of our lives, but if it is something that is not really your experience to share, I think this would be fine!
Hope this helps!
I love the mind set of being real to help your posterity learn from and understand their own challenges. And I think your suggestion of focusing on expressing it a respectful way would help you to process the situation in a more healthy way.
Thank you for your response!
Just what I needed. thank you.