We all need to have our “love buckets” filled–kids and parents alike. Every individual, as well as every family, has unique ways to send and receive messages of love. Sometimes, it is by showing love in new and/or creative ways that the message really gets across. Sometimes the best way to show love is the tried and true–whatever that is in your family.
In the Spirit of the “Love You Festival,” featured in April Perry’s article, What I Love About Moms, please share some of the fun, silly, special, or ordinary ways you’ve found to shower love and affection on your family members!
QUESTION: What are the “I Love You” rituals in your home?
CHALLENGE: Find a way to tell someone in your family that you love them today.
Once, when my oldest daughter was having a bit of a hard time, I typed a list entitled “Six Things Mom and Dad Love about You” and left it up on the computer where I knew she’d see it. I tried to be as specific as possible, so she would know what exactly makes her so great. I could tell she appreciated it–after she read it she came and asked me if I would add another thing after she turned seven. I told her I would.
Alisha, that is great. I know our kids love it when we compliment them. I been thinking about this one over the 24 hours and I think the best way we show love around here is by giving of our time. My time is one of my most valuable possesions and when I stop my to-do list and play legos with the kids or take them to the park, that is my way of showing love to them. I also love to just take hold of their face, look them in the eye and tell them how much I love them. That’s usually followed by hugs and kisses. I do it ALL THE TIME! I’m going to be one of those cheek pinching grandmas one day, you just way and see. I think my kids show love by drawing pictures, folding them up, and presenting them to me like a present. I love those and keep them all.
One thing I’m trying to do more often is really be “present” for my children. They want me to look them in the eyes and actually listen to what they’re telling me. One child was upset with me the other day and said, “I don’t think you love me.” I took time to really talk to/listen to that child for an entire afternoon, and I was rewarded by a big hug that “said it all.”
My two-year-old just tried a new trick. He wanted to dip his fingers in his juice, and I wouldn’t let him, so he pointed to my laptop, wiggled his fingers as though he were typing and said, “Do da cuter, Mom.” Meaning that if I’m entranced with the computer, he can do whatever he wants. That was a wake-up call.
My goal is to “be there” for my children and really experience the moments with them.
Time together probably says I love you best, but we do have some fun things we do in terms of I Love You traditions:
We’ve done letters in little mailboxes which we got from Michaels
We have also written what we love about each other on hearts and then hide them around each others bed/bedroom
Give hugs where someone is in the mush pot and we all hug them
We do mirror messages too where I write everything backwards and they can hold it up to the mirror.
We also have songs we like to sing to the kids or together.
I love this idea!!
My kids love it when I have good after-school snacks for them and I’ve put away my work and I’m ready to talk to them about school. They really appreciate when I am ready to really be there with them, body, mind and soul. I think this little ritual really binds us.
Another “I love you ritual” we have is blowing kisses when I drop them off at school.
Another one the kids have especially loved from age 2-7 or so is saying how much we love each other and then trying to top what the previous person said – “I love you all the way to Heaven.” ”Well, I love you all the way to Heaven and back and around the block and to the grocery store!”
We try to vocally express our love as often as possible–when someone is leaving, at bedtime, on the phone. One thing I started with my kids when my oldest son was very young was twiddling our thumbs. That was our little signal, our way of saying I love you, in public, when it might have been embarrassing if I’d just shouted out, “I love you.”
I’ve twiddled my thumbs at spelling bees, when my children have had a part in a program, at basketball and soccer and football games, even when my daughter was walking back to take her driving test. When they can, they twiddle their thumbs back. Sometimes they just smile. I love knowing that I can tell them I love them vocally AND visually.
We have a little secret “hand shake”. Three squeezes mean I. Love. You. My husband started that with me when we were dating, and it has always been a fun little way to get I love you. We also just read a library book called the Kissing Hand. A mother racoon kisses the hand of her little one before he went off to school, then he can feel his mom’s love even when they are not together. My daughter and I have started doing this. It helps her go to primary without being as scared.
We also do the “topping the other person” for how much we love each other.
We started a silly saying when the boys were little: I love you lots and lots, tons and tons, and oodles and oodles. On the “oodles” part we do eskimo kisses on the nose! They quickly learnt to join in with the saying.
Now the boys are bigger, when we do “blowing kisses”, I pretend their blown kisses to me bowl me over because they are so full of love and the boys are so much stronger at blowing.
Gonna try the secret thumb signal as the boys are starting to get to that age where Mum-kisses in public are just not cool. Thanks for the shared ideas.