After having raised a few teenagers, I have discovered something that works every time. If I make sure that I am sitting on the living room couch when they get home, they will come in through the door, sit down near me, and TALK!
I have experienced this “little miracle” again and again with my son who is always busy doing something and tends to speak only in short sentences. Recently, he came in after school and found me. Fortunately, I was aware he would be home soon, so I had positioned myself in “the best talking spot” in the house! He came in, flopped down on the chair next to me, and began to tell me about his day–without so much as a prompting or question from me to get him started. He told me of his feelings about what is happening in his classes, including which friends are doing what he knows is wrong. Daily school life was just spilling out of his mouth! It amazed me that a boy, who isn’t a big storyteller or talker, would open up to me about everything–even those things he knows we would not approve of as parents!
I love spending time getting to know my teens at any time of the night or day. The fun and the deep conversations are both heart-filling. Our relationships deepen when I am willing to drop what I am doing at the moment to let them tell me what is in their hearts and on their minds. It is great to know what a difference that makes.
I know that this sweet, talking time is one reason that my kids feel comfortable telling me when they are messing up in their lives and need help. Wow! That is why I am so grateful for the time we have together after school. I love my teenage kids!
QUESTION: What do you do to get your teens to talk?
CHALLENGE: Try out this method for getting your children, of any age, to talk to you. Be sure to tell them how much you like learning about their day.
Image by emmy! / Flickr.com
Originally published October 23, 2010
Submitted on 11-5-2010 at 09:57pm
I can identify with this. Both my teenagers will open up to me about whatever is on their mind, and they don’t seem afraid to do so even when sometimes I am not approving of what they have to say, but I think they like to run things by me to see if I approve or not, and they know I won’t get angry. I just tell them straight if I like or dislike something they are doing.
I also make a point of stopping what I am doing when they come home, to listen to whatever they want to talk about, if they feel the need to vent or share. 🙂
Submitted on 11-3-2010 at 12:07pm
That’s why I always wait up when my kids are out on dates or whatever, even though it’s late and I would really like to be in bed. They always say oh Mom you don’t have to wait up (well, of course I do to make sure they are in at the right time!) but I always tell them I want to know they are safe. It also gives us time to talk…
Submitted on 11-2-2010 at 06:51pm
I LOVE this idea and Penny, you are totally right! This reminds me I need to make myself more available…just sit down and wait, and not be so busy when they walk in that door. Thank you!