Authors: Joseph Allen, PH. D. and Claudia Worrell Allen , PH. D.
Why I liked this book:
I can’t figure out if I loved this book because it confirms a lot of hunches (or gut feelings) I’ve had over the last years about the right and wrong way to approach the adolescent years or because it also challenges me to think in new ways. It reminds me a lot of one of my other favorite books, “Parenting With Dignity,” in that it doesn’t offer fancy systems and quick fixes. Instead, it offers a different way to think–a worthy way to think–about raising our children and raising young adults. I also like that it offers great perspective. How have things changed for teenagers since 100-200 years ago? What does teen/young adult life look like in other parts of the world? I think having a broader vision can indicate where we need to improve and change our approaches and what odd new ideas (or good ones!) we’ve had that have improved or stressed our relationships and our children’s upbringing.
Our teens need to be challenged. They need adult expectations and responsibilities. They need to do meaningful work, and feel needed in that work. If we want their respect, we need to treat them respectfully. We need to have relationships with our teens–that connection proves to be more important than rules and regulations. They need adult relationships, not just relationships with fellow teens. We need to expect more from them (not talking about SAT scores) and ask for their help with complicated or adult-level tasks we might expect them not to be able to do (but they can and will manage them!).
Parts I Liked Best:
Originally published on April 20, 2013.
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