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After driving past Jim and Samuel the other day, it struck me that I really need to learn from Jim’s example. I don’t think I EVER just go at my kids’ pace for more than a few moments or do what they feel like doing without saying “just a minute” about 100 times. I seldom really thoroughly focus on what my kids are saying for very long. And I’m not good at really enjoying what they want me to enjoy with them. I’m afraid I’m quite guilty of having my mind on the many other things I need to be doing most of the time, rather than on the present moment. And I always feel like I have so many people talking to me at once that it’s really hard to focus on any one kid for more than a few seconds.
Seeing Jim and Samuel as they ramble around the neighborhood always reminds me that I should slow down more and put the kids’ priorities a little higher on my own priority list. And I really need to learn to be in the present more and to clear my mind of thoughts that get in the way of enjoying the moment I’m in. In thinking about the special relationship that Jim and Samuel seem to share, I realize that I really need to get back into a tradition that I used to be pretty good about – taking each kid on their own individual “mommy date” every week or two. I get to know and really enjoy my kids when I can be one-on-one with them. It’s hard to make it happen, but really, a mommy date can just be a regular old trip to the grocery store made special by letting my “date” select a favorite cereal or help plan a meal and get the ingredients or a quick run to the car wash (the twins’ current favorite mommy date). A walk around the block or quick bike ride also works great. I just need to create more opportunities to really focus on one child at a time.
So I need to figure out the details, but I’m going to be more like Jim – at least sometimes. I don’t think I quite have the personality – or the feasibility given the number of kids I have – to follow an individual childs around at a super slow pace and do whatever they want to do all the time. But I know my kids could use more of me – and I know I could use more of them. I don’t want to have to have another baby (would have to be adopted) in ten years so that I can enjoy a childhood after realizing I missed out on too much of the childhoods I’m in the midst of right now!
Submitted on 10-17-2010 at 04:03pm
Thanks for the much needed reminder, written so thoughtfully!
Submitted on 9-5-2010 at 04:12pm
Now that all my kids are in school each day, I am trying to take more time at night to “be” there for them – and put aside the things I would normally do at night (I try to do those during the day now). I (and my kids) need night time to be their time. Thanks for the reminder, Saren!
Submitted on 9-4-2010 at 05:56am
This was such a great reminder to slow down and enjoy those days of childhood. Thanks for all the ideas. They grow up so fast, so it’s important to make each moment count. We have started taking our kids on a mommy date or a daddy date. It is so nice to have time set aside to focus on that one child. They look forward to it. I look forward to it. It helps to live in the moment and enjoy time with each child.
Submitted on 9-3-2010 at 06:05pm
I think one of the reasons “enjoying childhood with our kids” is so important is that they’re much more likely to grow up retaining “being kids at heart still” when we do so.
They’re less likely to be caught up in worldly vices of all sorts that prevent the return to silliness that otherwise could live beat for beat in their hearts. What guts it takes to make that investment. I wish I could say it was easy for me. Thanks to powerofmoms, I’m trying to make it so.
Submitted on 9-3-2010 at 12:53pm
I noticed lately that I say the word ‘hurry’ when we really aren’t even in a rush. I was racing my two little boys from the store to the car the other day telling him to ‘hurry up’ and then wondered why. We didn’t have anywhere we ‘had’ to be and nothing was pressing for that day.
I know I need to slow down much more and listen and focus more. I seem to listen with only half an ear to my children while I fix dinner, email, read school papers, etc.
Thanks for the reminder that I need to slow down and enjoy what I have now, while I have it.
Submitted on 8-14-2009 at 11:38am
Thanks for this article. It’s so comforting to know that all moms need to slow down & that I am not the only one feeling guilty at times for not truly being there or enjoying the moment because I am much more worried about things that need to get done. It’s great to know that we all go thru these emotions & that we can gently remind each other that we should make those tender moments with our chidlren worthwhile to both of us. Thanks for the reminder!
Submitted on 5-9-2009 at 11:50am
Like you say, easier said than done but what a worthwhile goal. I can never get enough reminders to slow down and just “be” with my kids. THANKS!
Submitted on 5-8-2009 at 11:01pm
Thanks for recording that, Saren. I’m with you. It’s funny because I think I play with my children when I take them to the park or sit in the backyard with them, but the other day my girls said, “Mom, you never play with us!” When I asked them to clarify, they said they wanted me to sit on their bed and play dolls with them. I’m going to try to do more of that. They won’t be asking for that for too much longer. It is hard to put down the laundry or put off something I would prefer to get done, but it’s so great to have a community of mothers encouraging each other to enjoy our children right now.