Each year as the school year winds down I make the same goal: to let my kids be kids for the summer. Let them imagine and have down time. I have big plans to hang out, just the six of us, and go to the library and have our own kind of field trips. Each year I make a commitment that I’m not going to over-schedule the summer like I did the year before. Yep, every year that’s my goal. And without fail, every year I end up being frustrated. Because all of a sudden, once again, these kids are mysteriously signed up for everything under the sun.
It’s not only summer that offers tantalizing classes like swim team and various sports camps. During the school year there’s gymnastics, piano, tennis, cooking classes, acting classes, art classes and singing classes. You name it, there’s a class for it, and man oh man those classes are pretty darn tempting!
It’s not just the kids who are begging for them a lot of the time! It’s me thinking, “Oh this would be so great for so-and-so.” I struggle because sure, all those things could help my kids learn a lot. Who knows, maybe Elle will be an awesome volleyball player if I just sign her up for volleyball camp. She’s going to be so tall, maybe that’s her “calling” and she would miss out on it if I don’t let her go. Maybe we’ll uncover that Grace is a natural actress (put in practice by all her daily dramatics), if she only takes that acting class. And Max, he’s quite an artist, wouldn’t that art class give him some great confidence? And poor Claire, my fourth child who doesn’t get to do many lessons, I keep having this feeling that if we put her in a gymnastics class she really could take off…she seems to have inherited a little more of Dave’s coordination than mine which could really help her in the long run!
The list goes on and on. How do you find the balance between what to put your kids in, letting them experience the world, magnify their talents, figure out what they’re gifted in, and keeping them at your side, cherishing that time as long as you can and letting them have down time?
I think the real secret is to just slow down. Enough is really enough. Sometimes what kids really need most is unstructured time and space. My rule of thumb (when I’m not letting myself get carried away by all those tantalizing lessons), is that each child can have one music-based lesson and one physical lesson (sports, gymnastic, etc.) And sometimes I wonder why I even do that much. It’s great to expose our kids to all that we can. But really, there’s not much more that can give our kids confidence and encouragement than spending time with a mother who loves them.
QUESTION: How did you and your kids determine what you were going to do? What types of things did you end up doing? Share your secrets here!
CHALLENGE: Let your kids and your imagination take control over the summer.
You really put into words well the annual summer dilemma I also face with four kids. My other struggle is that despite my best laid plans to slow down, kids do get bored and I do have other work to do besides sipping lemonade by the pool with them all summer. Balance is always hard. Thanks for sharing!
SO true! People often ask me how I can have 6 kids and not be run ragged. That is the main reason – we aren’t over scheduled. We have a great balance of structured vs. free time. I feel bad for the moms I see who have kids in something different each day. There is no time to unwind.
Summer is about relaxation and quality time together. During the school year everyone is busy with activities and homework, but summer comes around and we are able to just be! Be together, be lazy and watch movies all day, be adventurous and do things we don’t normally get to do. Going on Vacations to the beach and going to water parks and theme parks! Parents should always connect with their kids but summer helps to give you lots of time to do so. Enjoy your children….you can never turn back time so make the best memories for them and yourself!
Choose a day of the week that you won’t schedule activities for. So, no gymnastics or soccer of Fridays. That is our day. I map out at the beginning of summer some of the fun ‘field trips’ and play dates I want to have with my kids and do them every Friday! That way, at the end of the summer, I don’t feel like-where has it all gone-I can look back and see the fun things we did!
I think it is important to remember that we can provide a lot of fun for our kids ourselves! And we should enjoy the time we have while our kids are excited to be with us and learn from us. Every summer we have our own schedule, and my kids love it. We do chores and some “homework” (keeping up those school skills!), and then move on to our fun activity of the day: Movie Monday (we just pop popcorn and watch a movie together… this works best when TV is generally limited, and a movie is a big treat.); Take a Trip Tuesday (we go somewhere fun that day: the museum, the zoo, the park, etc.); Wet and Wild Wednesday (whether we go to the community pool or just splash in our sprinklers outside…), anyTHing goes Thursday (you need a flexible day! cooking today? going to Grandma’s? another swim day?) and Friendly Friday (we invite friends to play this day). I love this because I feel like I have a lot of time with my kids to teach them and be with them, and my summer isn’t run over by activities and constant playdates. And the older my kids get, the more precious time with them becomes!
Love the comment above with the themed days!
I love the themed days idea, too! That gives just enough structure so control-freaks (guilty as charged) can still manage to let go a bit without feeling scattered. Brilliant! I’ll continue working through the summer…but this gives me some great ideas for when I sit down with my husband (he’ll be at home for the summer) to sketch out a general map of those 3 glorious (I hope!) months. My goal is to be happily jealous when I hear about their days when I return home each evening! Thank you!