Can you feel the love?

We’ve all heard about the idea of “Love Languages” and how personal styles of communicating love can determine the way we perceive and receive expressions of love from those around us.

And as useful as it can be to understand all that, sometimes it is helpful as moms to just recognize the things our husband and kids are doing—whatever it is—as their attempt to show us love. They may not be speaking our “language,” per se, but can we still get the message?

Whether or not it seems like your family is always doing an adequate job of appreciating you, let’s all take a moment to just recognize those little things they do that that feed our sense of well-being. Chances are we’ll realize they’re doing a lot more than we thought!

QUESTION: What does your family do to make you feel loved and appreciated?


  1. Kristin says

    As boring as it sounds, I can feel the love when my children or husband pick up the slack with household chores without being asked to do so. As a mom with a full-time job, there’s a lot of pressure to both do the mom thing and also do the job thing and to do both as well as possible. Sometimes, the work load is overwhelming. Coming home to an 11 year old who did the dishes (ok, unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, but still) and fed the dog without being reminded is a nice little boost. Having a husband who will do laundry and clean the kitchen makes me feel loved, even if it’s just a household chore. And the notes that they write on our family whiteboard help me feel appreciated too. We all use that as another way to communicate with each other, despite our busy lives. There’s nothing quite as sweet, or loving, as a 7 year old’s poem (written on the whiteboard before bed) about how much she loves her family and her family loves her. Sometimes it’s hard to see the little acts as acts of love, but I’ll look at them differently now, thanks to this question.

  2. Heather says

    My husband is dog-tired, but he just spent the better part of an hour cleaning up the kitchen so I could have some down time after a hard day as mommy to four little ones. That’s love in my book!

    Also, just today my girls (5 and 2) were asking me why Papa had to go to work and couldn’t be with us all day. I started to explain that he has to work so we can buy food and clothes, etc. Then I really started to think about it and really see our cozy home for what it is: the fruit of his work, and he works because he loves us. It was a little overwhelming to see all that we have as a gift of love from my husband, and the greatest gift is the gift of time he gives me to be able to be home with our little ones while they are little.

    Anyway, I guess I’m spoiled because he’s also very good at saying in words that he loves me too, and our children follow in his footsteps.

  3. Cindy says

    Love from my husband is shown by finding a babysitter for date nights. We usually swap babysitting with a neighbor friend for date, but they’re gone for this week. My husband has been trying to figure out who to have babysit so we can go on a date. It shows me he really wants it to happen.

  4. Elise says

    When my kids are asked to do something and they actually DO it without a second or third prompting really makes me feel appreciated and loved. I always make sure to tell them “thank you for doing what you’re asked, that makes mama so happy!” My husband has been noticing the stress rise lately and has been helping out a lot more and even when he sees I really don’t want to do the dishes right now he’ll say “just come sit with me and relax for a minute, we’ll do the dishes together later.” I LOVE it. A moment to sit…ahh!

  5. Brianna says

    I just have to add that I just went to a class at church last night about the “love languages”! I read a post from the power of moms just a few days ago about the love languages for children and I thought “I need to read that book” and the very next day I found out that we were having a class on it at church….how cool was that!!! I was so excited!

  6. Alisha says

    Forgive me my vanity, and I promise I’m not pathological, but I really, really love clingy babies and toddlers. I have a clingy toddler right now! It does get a tad wearying, but only sometimes. Usually, when I’m the only one that can make her feel better, I think: Given the amount of work I’ve put into caring for her, I think I’ve earned the right to be her favorite!

  7. Shawna Woodworth says

    I appreciate everyone else’s comments…

    This idea of recognizing love in different-than-expected forms occurred to me a couple of weeks ago when I was feeling like my son and I were struggling to relate to each other. After a disgruntled morning wherein he wasn’t behaving as I would have wished and I was probably being too demanding, I started to feel discouraged, wondering how we were ever going to be able to fill each other’s “emotional bank accounts” when we always seemed to be at odds.

    That’s when I noticed that every time he ran down the hall tossing and catching his football, he would yell, “Watch, Mom!” and make sure I was paying attention.

    I realized that his interest in my attention was quite a compliment and an act of love on his part. He didn’t enjoy his football so much by himself–he wanted me to be involved and commenting on his playing. Once I realized that, I praised his athleticism to high heaven, relishing this moment as a bonding one for mother and son. Things have actually gotten much better for us since then.

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