Lately, I’ve been playing a mind game with myself. It’s called “Breathe. Be happy.” When I’m running late, which is always, I remind myself to breathe and be happy. When both children are crying, I take a breath and smile at the little darlings. It’s just a game and I don’t always win, but I’ve learned the hard way that resisting and pushing against the stress just leads to more. If I pause and get my wits about me, I’m able to focus on the task at hand.
The mind game served me well when I realized I had forgotten to get my oldest son a costume this past Halloween. He was dead set on being Scooby Doo, so three days before Halloween I was scouring the shelves at Target. I found a Scooby suit, but Dillon is a 3-year-old the size of a 5-year-old, and the costume didn’t fit.
So we headed to the popular, locally-owned costume shop where you can find any character you want, at a conveniently jacked up price. I quickly found a Scooby suit and removed my son’s shoes to start the process of trying it on.
“Um, ma’am, you have to use the dressing room,” said the man in charge.
“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”
“There are several signs posted.”
I wasn’t trying to break the rules, so I took a breath and gathered Scooby, Dillon and Blake (who was sleeping in the stroller) and headed to the back of the store.
On the way to the dressing room, Dillon saw the rest of his friends: Shaggy, Freddie, Thomas, Percy and Diego. Suddenly, he wanted to be all of them for Halloween. I explained we had to pick one, so he conceded Diego could go back on the rack. Then I held up Shaggy and Freddie. Dillon pointed to Freddie. With the costumes narrowed down to four, I reminded myself to breathe and be happy. “This is fun,” I told myself. Or maybe I said, “Fake it ‘til you make it.” I can’t remember.
There was a line leading to the dressing room, and we could only try on two costumes at a time. Then we had to go to the back and start the process all over again. After two trips to the dressing room, we had eliminated Thomas and Percy and were still mulling over Scooby and Freddie. The problem with the new Scooby costume was that it was a little too big and it wasn’t cheap. But Freddie looked like a dork.
That’s when Dillon decided it was “no pants Wednesday” and tried to convince me to let him walk around the store in his underwear. Then Blake woke up and started to cry.
Now the store was filling up with childless adults shopping for sexy get-ups for their Halloween parties. Time for the lady with the stroller to go.
We left empty-handed. Once home, Dillon remembered his heart was still set on Scooby, even if the suit wasn’t a perfect fit. So I called my husband and asked him to pick up the costume on his way home from work.
When my husband got to the store, he was greeted by the man in charge. “I’m looking for a Scooby costume. My wife was in here earlier.”
“Blonde girl? Two kids?” My husband nodded. “Yes, I remember. She was crazy patient.”
When my husband told me that, I felt like mother of the year. I’m not sure whether he put the emphasis on crazy or patient. But I’ll take it.
Originally published on HybridMom.com
QUESTION: What techniques do you have to help calm yourself in crazy times?
CHALLENGE: Mothers play a crucial role in establishing a positive atmosphere, both at home and out and about. Sometime today, when you find yourself in a situation where you feel like you are losing control (of yourself or the kids!), repeat the mantra, “Breathe. Be Happy.” Observe how keeping yourself calm can turn a stressful time into a fun family adventure!
Thank you for a great article. I loved when you wrote ”I’ve learned the hard way that resisting and pushing against the stress just leads to more”. That is so true and you said it in just a way that stuck with me. I have been reminding myself to “breathe. Be happy.” And my day has been happier!
I’m glad you got your costume! I thought you were going to say your husband went back and it was gone!
When I think of patience I think of waiting but this morning I was reading that patience is also the ability to endure trouble, opposition, or suffering without becoming angry, frustrated, or anxious. When we are patient, we are able to hold up under pressure and face challenges calmly and hopefully.
Way to get through a tough situation. It’s nice that the store employee noticed. Thanks for the reminder to breathe and be happy.
You are so right about the fact that pushing against the stress just leads to more! I agree! I am a BIG stresser, so whenever I feel myself starting to lose it, i hum hymns….quietly….and slowly and it calms me. I dont know why, but the one that pops into my head most often, is the hymn “Where can I turn for peace” I love it….the words are fitting sometimes and the fact that it is fitting makes me smile.
that is definitely a great compliment and way better than “boy, she had her hands full.”
Good for you keeping calm when most wouldn’t 😉
What a great post. Thank you. I try to calm myself down by reminding myself how fast my little children are growing and that the day will come all too soon when they won’t be with me all of the time and they will have lives of their own. I don’t want to regret this time and wish that I had been more patient, attentive, and grateful. Such a regret would foster far more pain, emptiness, and discomfort than ANY difficult day with my children.
oh that is great. I needed to laugh out loud at something. (The crazy patient part…)
Thank you ladies! My little Scooby Doo just turned 6 and his brother will be three in June (and now I have a third, a girl!) and this is still one of my favorite mom stories.
You were mother of the year! What a great example you are to me. I’m going to really try to use that mantra.