Author: Crystal Paine
Basic Overview:
Crystal Paine is the author behind the popular website Money Saving Mom. In Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, she has created a step-by-step guide to help women find balance and joy in motherhood. The book is divided into nine clear and simple strategies which include topics like “Say Yes to the Best,” “Manage the Home Front,” and “Yes, You Can Make a Difference.” Each section has a corresponding goal and a strategy to help moms meet that goal. She also includes question-and-answer sections throughout the book with real life examples. I enjoy books that not only teach great principles but give their readers suggestions for how to implement those principles right away. It is easy to read and her down to earth writing makes you feel like you are swapping advice with a group of your mom friends. This book would be great for all moms in any stage of motherhood.
Parts I Liked Best:
– I loved how well this book went hand in hand with the Power of Moms principles I’ve already learned. She discusses similar topics like creating margins, setting small goals and working towards them one action at a time, positive thought replacement, and how comparison is the thief of joy. It is wonderful to have even more to read on these important topics.
– I really enjoyed her section on using your gifts, and more specifically, finding them. So many times I hear mothers (myself included) say, “I don’t have any gifts or talents” or “I don’t know what I like to do.” It is hard to know where to start when it comes to learning more about ourselves. Crystal writes, “If you feel like you don’t have many gifts, it may be that you just need to go out there and try some things you haven’t done before. Start experimenting with new opportunities and challenges to see what you enjoy and do well.” (pg. 33) I have tried this recently and it really works!
– She encourages women to learn and grow while also recognizing that we also need to accept who we are. Perfectionism is not going to help us have less stress or restore our passion for life. She writes, “Know this: You’re never going to be perfect. You’re never even going to be close to perfect. Accept this and be encouraged with any progress you make. Look ahead and focus on the future instead of feeling frustrated or upset over what you can’t change.” (pg. 169) Let’s put the perfectionism aside and focus on who we want to be, not who we could’ve/should’ve been.
How This Book Made an Impact in My Life, Especially as a Mother:
This book is quite the collection of information. It is one of those reference type books that you love the first time but know you’ll go back to again and again.
One of the first things she writes about is learning to say no and I think that’s such an important first step for any mom, stressed or not. She said, “If I want to live a productive, efficient, happy, and disciplined life, I must learn to say no. And I must say it often.” (pg. 10) As moms, and as people in general, there are a million different opportunities for us out there. It is ok and healthy for us to say no to some of these things. She talks about writing out our priorities and creating margin in our lives along with saying no to the things that don’t fit.
My take on the book can be summed up in one of the quotes found in chapter one by Thomas Merton. He said, “Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm, and harmony.” The topics in this book really encompass this idea of finding that beautiful balance and harmony in motherhood.
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