Title: Bullied
Author: Katherine Mayfield
Basic Overview:
We live in a society where bullying has become one of the top concerns of parents and educators. Whether it is happening face to face or indirectly through the Internet and social media, our awareness has been heightened to the dangers and sad outcomes of many who are bullied. From one who has been there, even at the hands of her own parents, comes Bullied: Why You Feel Bad Inside and What To Do About It.
As the title indicates, this isn’t just a book to talk about the face of bullying, but also a user manual for kids and adults that are placed in that situation. Katherine’s purpose for this book as stated in the forward says, “In this book, you’ll learn how to discover and let go of your most difficult emotions. You’ll learn how to find the courage to do what you’re passionate about and you’ll learn how to start living as the real you, instead of the you that hurts all the time. You’ll learn why people turn into bullies, along with some tips for dealing with bullies.” (7)
She also encourages victims to “begin to pay more attention to what’s going on inside of you instead of what other people are telling you about yourself.” (7)
Katherine speaks in a format that targets the younger audience. She goes through several steps from making the reader aware of how bullying affects their self-image, to the steps to recovery and how to cope with the perpetrator. She also includes a chapter directed at the bully, hoping to target those who have a desire to hurt others and teach them what to do with those emotions.
Parts I Liked Best:
The author’s sincerity toward the victim is genuine. Throughout the book you get the feeling that she is reaching out directly to the young person that is struggling. It is as though she is their personal counselor, coaching them through the steps of recognizing the signs of bullying and encouraging them with tools to break the cycle. She counsels them:
If you feel like that person is the ‘top dog’ and you’re ‘number two,’ you might want to be more careful as you develop a relationship. (13)
When we don’t express our feelings, their energy can seem to grow bigger and bigger and bigger until we’re just overwhelmed with feelings, thinking that nothing will ever change and that there’s no way out of the situation. (21)
If the person’s behavior makes you want to try harder, get stronger or smarter, and become better at what you’re doing, then it is encouragement. If the behavior makes you feel small and unimportant, then it’s not encouragement, it’s most likely bullying. (52)
Katherine describes her own experiences of trying to seek help from adults and being completely disregarded and left on her own to deal with the pain and ongoing belittling at the hands of her peers and parents. Included as well are other accounts of successful adults who were victims of bullying and how they found their way through it and on to actively help those who are suffering at the hands of bullies.
How this book made an impact in my life, especially as a mother:
Many a mother has seen their child victimized by those around them, even those who they should be able to trust. This book is a great tool to start the conversation with your kids on what bullying truly looks like and how they can look it straight in the face and fight back. I love the focus on how bullying cannot last forever and eventually each person gets to grow up and become who they are intended to be. The book is a quick read with inspirational quotes from many well-known figures of our times. I applaud Katherine for rising above her past and being one of those people who seeks to make the path easier for others.
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