Photo by The Happy Grinch at www.flickr.com
My daughter was born almost three years ago, just as I was wrapping up a graduate degree in analytical chemistry. (That is such a simple sentence for such a complex time!) There was a transition time moving from being Alecia-focused (the pressure and drive to make something of myself in this world) to rather suddenly being Ruthie-focused (the pressure and drive to make something of this little person in the world).
It was uncomfortable and awkward for me at times. Some mothers are better at this transition than others, and I find I am still working on it. Being loving and kind is a science and art that I have been trying to learn all my life, as they haven’t been natural gifts for me. My poor mother has been trying to teach me that “kindness begins with me” for decades! Yet it will be my daughter that is able to teach me to master them once and for all.
Case in point:
I developed sinusitis yesterday. When my daughter was hugging me goodnight, I happily passed her off to Justin for bedtime. She did not happily depart from me; in fact she was crying and reaching for me, which I assumed was merely a ploy to get out of bedtime. But, the crying continued through teeth brushing and diaper changing. So I dragged my aching eyes and teeth into her room. As we hugged, I asked her a question that she has always answered in the affirmative: “Oh, Ruthie…does your mommy love you?” She shook her head for no! It really worried me because of all the daughters in the world, mine should know that I love her!
I explained in my best toddler-ese that daddy was just putting her to bed and that I still loved her. Then I stayed with her for “books on the floor” and one more hug. I asked her the same question, and this time she answered “Yes”. Phew! It was a good illustration to me that it is the little things that I do as a mom that build my daughter up.
It’s one of the most important (if not the most important) things I do as a mother—make sure my child feels loved. And, it is really the little things that make her feel loved.
Photo by Alecia English
QUESTION: What is something small you can do today to help your child feel your love?
CHALLENGE: Figure out at least one small thing you can do today to make your child feel loved, and then do it.
