So often, when evening comes, my to-do list is longer than when I woke up that morning. No matter how much I accomplish, there is always more waiting. And as I look ahead, I feel discouraged, deflated. I beat myself up for not doing enough, and I start believing that I am not enough.
But as the weekend approaches and I look back on the past week, it’s interesting to see how things add up:
This week, there wasn’t any exercise.
There wasn’t any meditative quiet time.
There were no morning pages written.
There was a lot of going to bed and waking up late.
This week there were five days of homeschool. (We usually shoot for four days per week).
There was frustration during the math lesson and me catching myself on time.
There was a kiss on a sweet cheek and a comforted child on my lap.
There was a worksheet finished in good spirits instead of tears.
This week, there was work done in our freshly organized office.
There were orders packaged and sent and e-mails replied to.
There was a mortgage refinance scheduled.
There were some checks deposited and lots of bills paid.
There was a case of pin-worms (our daughter’s fourth this year) and me trying to hide it from my friend.
There was her finding out anyway and me feeling very ashamed of myself.
There were written apologies and gracious forgiveness.
There was learning once again that honesty is always the better way.
There was a last-minute lunch date with a friend.
There was browsing the used-book shelves at the local library.
There was a new stack of borrowed picture books to take home to my daughter.
There was the shade of beautiful trees.
This week, there was slamming the front door in anger and escaping with the car.
There was driving aimlessly around the neighborhood.
There was owning up to my misbehavior and feeling the healing power of the words “I’m sorry.”
There were hugs and embraces and even a hand massage.
This week I did fall short many times, but now I can see it’s what made me grow. When my flaws revealed themselves, I showed the strength to get my act back together. What the worst parts of me had damaged, the best parts of me had fixed.
There is no light if you don’t know darkness.
There is no warmth if you don’t know cold.
There is light and darkness, warmth and cold within me.
There is love and fear, joy and pain within me.
There is music and silence within me.
There is me within me.
…but glorious all the same.
QUESTION: Do you sometimes feel like you get nothing done?
CHALLENGE: Make a list of everything that has happened this week and marvel at all that you did do!
Image from Shutterstock via Pixabay/Graphics by Anna Jenkins.