“Children! Get your shoes on! Oh, Ethan, did you forget socks again? Please go get some socks—it’s cold outside! Grace, when you do somersaults after I do your hair, it gets all messed up. Now I have to brush it again. Please bring me the brush. How did the floor get covered in muffin crumbs? Didn’t I just sweep this floor?” As any mother of busy children, I could type on and on and on.
This is a small sample of what ejected from my mouth the other day as I was trying to get all of the children out the door. Where did I need to go? To the craft store…to buy garland for our banister…to make our home look homey and festive…so my children would feel the “holiday spirit” in our home.
Fortunately, the irony of the situation hit me before I could get any more perturbed, so we made some changes to the day’s itinerary and decided instead to stay home, pop some popcorn, and listen to some of our favorite Christmas songs. The mood in the house immediately changed for the better, and I decided that our staircase will look just fine “sans garland” this year (not that I have to abandon every errand when things don’t run perfectly, but in this case, the garland was not worth the effort).
When I am frustrated by the messes and pandemonium surrounding my home and family, the source of the stress is usually me: I am either tired, unorganized, overly-aware of my imperfections, worried about something, or all of the above. Sometimes in an effort to do what I think my family needs (like hang garland), I forget that the very nicest gift I can give my children is a happy mother.
Throughout the past few weeks, I have found some ways to keep the happy side of me around more often. After all, the best gifts are for keeps—not given and taken back again and again. The most helpful solutions for me have been to simplify, to redefine “good mother,” and to savor the moments when I truly feel happy.
Question: Do you feel the holidays take over the craziness in your home?
Challenge: Try to cutback on “things” and add more “moments” to this holiday season.
*photo courtesy of Microsoft Office Image
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Originally published on December 5, 2013.
I just love this post, and think it’s deeply true: what’s better than a happy mother? Nothing can substitute for it, not a garland nor some cookies…but sometimes we tend to forget about this, trying to do too much, in order to accomplish our children. Aren’t we accomplishing more our idea of a perfect mother then? sorry about my imperfect english!
A mother from Italy
Great article. 🙂
I have noticed I always get stressed and grumpy when I am focused on my agenda. To be a happy mom my focus has to be on my kids not myself. Life is a lot more enjoyable when I an more concerned about them than myself.
A great reminder of how we get so stressed trying to make our home a lovely place rather than a love-filled one!
I too have felt this way so many times and every once in a while I stop and realize that the time we spend together needs to be enjoyable and not chaotic, so we change our plans right then and there. Thank you for reminding me of this at this busy time of year!
Yes, yes, yes! I love this and can so relate! So may things that your write and say, April, I feel like are directly out of my mouth (and heart). I’ve been listening to some of your podcasts today as attempting to conquer the piles and piles of laundry to be sorted, folded, and put away for my four young children…such an encouragement I receive whenever I listen. Thank you!
I can relate, big-time. It occurred to me recently that so much of my stress comes from trying to pack too many errands/tasks into a small window of time. If I remove one or two things from my list, I can move at a more leisurely pace and everyone benefits.
Thanks for the reminder not to let the holidays overwhelm our sense of what’s realistic to accomplish!
So true! I love this post. We all need to slow down and think about what is really important 🙂