No fun. That’s what they called me! No fun! Okay, so their exact words were, “Dad is the fun parent, and Mom, well, Mom is more like ‘The Safe Zone.’”
A.k.a., no fun.
It’s true, Dad is the one doing the wrestling and the jumping on the trampoline. He’s the one splurging on hot fudge sundaes. He’s the one staying up late with them watching hilarious videos on Youtube from his iPad.
Me? I’m either pregnant and sick or nursing a fussy baby.
“But who takes you guys to the pool, the beach, the park, the museums? Me! That’s who,” I couldn’t help but point out.
Yes, I may be the one to take them there, but on the rare occasions that Fun Dad is available to join us, he’s the one jumping off the high dive with them, teaching them how to boogie board, and inventing elaborate spin-off games of tag and hide-and-go-seek that send them into fits of shrieking giggles.
Me? I’m either pregnant and sick or nursing a fussy baby.
Kids don’t award fun points for just packing the picnic and loading them up in the car and driving them to fun venues. You have to actually be fun. What their tender ages don’t allow them to fully understand, however, is that my “no fun-ness” makes their fun possible. Somebody has to carry them to term, feed them, rock them, sing them to sleep and get them to the fun part of their lives. Somebody has to take the delicate, crying bundle away from their exhilarating chaos so that the chaos can happily proceed uninterrupted.
My first reaction to this “Safe Zone” label was to quote to them a modified version of Jack Nicholson’s infamous speech from “A Few Good Men.” (We’ve all seen the TV version, right?)
“Kids, we live in a world that has babies. And those babies need to be nurtured, fed and protected. Who’s gonna do that job? You? You? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You claim I’m no fun. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know–that my boring-ness, while tragic, makes a family. And my existence, while seemingly mundane and not very glamorous, makes a family.
“You don’t want the truth because deep down you know you want me raising these babies. You need me raising these babies. So I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to kids who rise and sleep under the blanket of love that I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it. I’d rather that you just said ‘thank you’ and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a bottle and stand the post!”
But I thought better of it. Because the other part they don’t understand is that I actually like raising these babies and fulfilling my role as the “Safe Zone.” This is fun for me. How can onesies, booties, gummy smiles and falling asleep nursing together be anything but?
When they get hurt or sick, who do they come hobbling to? Me, the Safe Zone! And I eat it all up. And this baby-raising part of life doesn’t last forever.
Before my mommyhood, I was a camel-riding, water-skiing, European-train-hopping, cliff-jumping, cave-exploring, movie-set-working woman. (I love it when my kids learn this kind of stuff about me. It shocks them.) And in a few more years, when the children are grown, I’ll saddle up my camel again to be sure.
But until then, well, that’s why I married someone so fun. Please. Give me some credit.
QUESTION: How have you embraced your role as Mother? What are some of the more adventurous/interesting things about you that your children may not know about?
CHALLENGE: Make it a goal to tell your children those stories about Fun Mom, while also reminding them how much you love your life now.
Edited by Rachel Nielson.
Image from Shutterstock/Graphics by Julie Finlayson.
Amen, sister!
I love this! Amen!
Loved this. Perfect. Thank you SO much!!
I can not quite explain how much I identify and love this article. I have seen the “TV version” and I tried to read it to my husband aloud in my best Jack impersonation. There is a part of me that does want to learn how to be a bit more of the “fun mom” Fantastic job Margaret!
I am definitely no fun. My husband is the one who gets down on the floor to play Hot Wheels or runs around at the park with my son. I, on the other hand, handle things like making school lunches, worksheets, teaching math, reading books, etc.–all those things that need to get done but aren’t really fun. And, you know, I’m okay with that. My son needs both the fun and the no fun to be a well-rounded person. And, I do enjoy building Lego with him and occasionally playing Minecraft.
Margaret you hit the nail on the head!! You are the BEST!!! LOVE you! And When they want to hear some of those stories I am here to tell!! You forgot to mention “Modeling Mom” you’re a hottie!!
So very true!
oh boy. This article speaks to ME. Thank you!!
LOVE this!!!! Thank you for writing it. I needed it today. (Loved the speech!)
What a memorable post! Got a great laugh out of it. Thanks!
This is so great. Thanks for the laugh first thing in the morning. Too, too true.
Perfectly said, thank you for a good laugh! I can relate. Good times!
Hi, Margaret! I am a board member at Power of Moms, and I am in charge of submitting some of our best content to the Deseret News in Utah for publication on their Family Life blog. Is it okay if I submit this article to them? Please let me know ASAP!
Thanks!