We often think that an over-scheduled holiday season focused too heavily materialistic things is a modern-day problem and think longingly of the “olden days” when Christmas was simpler.
But apparently, over a hundred years ago, moms had the same nostalgia for a simpler time and struggled with some of the same busyness and worry over the focus on toys and treats during the holidays that we worry about today.
I recently came across this great quote by Emmaline B. Wells, a writer, champion of women’s suffrage and church leader (originally printed in the December 1901 edition of the Young Woman’s Journal).
“The olden times were the days of comparative seclusion from the outside world, and we had to depend mainly upon our own resources for amusement…In those far-off days, however, the children were as much on tip-toe with expectancy as in the present day when Santa Claus time comes round. Then we had to tell children stories to make up for the things we lacked. Now there is so much to occupy the time that mothers have no moment to spare, evidently, to tell them stories at all. They depend on church and the kindergarten teachers to do all this for them while they, the dear blessed mothers, lose all the sweetest hours life can bring. To sit at evening round the fire and listen to the children’s prattle and sing them the old-fashioned carols and tell them over and over the stories they long to hear, makes one forget care and trouble, and draws the mother and children closer together with ties inseparable that can never be wholly broken apart.
The mother, who denies herself this privilege for the sake of some outside engagement, or even to do extra household work, is doing herself as well as the children an injustice…. “Children do not have too much love not even at Christmas, no, not that, but they very often have too many toys and sweetmeats. How many children there are in the world who long, more earnestly, for real love than they do for aught else? There is no comfort or luxury that will supply its place even in the heart of a little child. There is more happiness because of love than from any other gift…
“Above all else, mothers, tell the little ones stories at Christmas…”
This quote grabbed my attention big time. I know that my children need to feel my love and my husband’s love in extra abundance at Christmas and I really think Emmaline got it right when she suggested stories and cozy snuggling as a great vehicle for expressing and teaching about love while urging mothers (and fathers!) not to miss out on the precious moments to be had during the holiday season.
One of our family’s favorite Christmas traditions has always been reading stories together by the Christmas tree. We’ve got a great collection of Christmas books that we’ve built by getting a new one each year. It’s been the general idea to do a little story time each evening in December. But after reading Emmaline’s words, I’ve realized that we’ve too often let outside engagements rob us of some of the “sweetest hours life can bring.”
So this year, my husband and I have decided to more thoroughly prioritize time to “sit at evening by the fire (by the lighted Christmas tree) and listen to the children’s prattle and sing them the old-fashioned carols and tell them the stories they long to hear.”
Sure, we’ve got Christmas concerts and basketball practice and homework and a myriad of other things pulling us all in different directions many nights, but we can carve out 10-15 minutes each night to snuggle on the couch and read Christmas stories by the Christmas tree (sometimes the whole family together, sometimes just me and the kids, sometimes just Jared and the kids, whatever works!). If we’re running late, we can make it a quick story. And we can opt out of engagements that involve more stress and fuss than joy in order to protect our story time and the simple togetherness that is required for love to grow.
Story time and the love and lessons we can emphasize and re-emphasize through story and song truly does “draw the mother [and father] and children closer together with ties inseparable that can never be wholly broken apart.”
Our undivided attention and our stories – as well as the love wrapped up in them – will ultimately mean so much more than any other activity or material gift we can offer our dear children at Christmas.
I guess some things (like busyness and the incidence of conflicting priorities) never change – even when you look back 100 years. And some things (like letting the busyness rob us of what is most precious and allowing our priorities to get out whack) must be changed.
We CAN protect time for real connections and love at Christmas. We really can.
Thanks, Emmaline. We really needed your message.
BOOK IDEAS
Our very favorite book this year is a short chapter book called The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus (which has been out of print for years and happily is now back in print!). It’s been so great learning all about how little Nickolas was a sweet and kind orphan boy who overcame great sadness through love and kindness. It tells about how he got his first sleigh, how the first stocking came about, how he got his first red suit and so on. It’s all fiction but it’s a beautiful story about making the best of hard situations and solving problems with love and my kids have been totally eating it up. I love reading stories like this that make us all feel like being better people. We’re almost done with it. When we’re done with this one, we’ll be reading The Best Christmas Pageant Ever and A Christmas Carol, my other two favorite Christmas chapter books. And we’ll read a bunch of our short story books as well.
I love having pile of beautifull books available throughout the Christmas season. Here are some of our favorite picture books that we own and love and read every year (we pick out one book to add to our Christmas book collection each year):
Great Joy by Kate DiCamillo
Santa Claus by Rod Green (lots of fun pull-outs, tells all Santa’s secrets)
A Shepherd’s Gift by Mary Calhoun
The Legend of the Christmas Rose by William H. Hooks
Christmas Day in the Morning by Pearl S. Buck (always makes me cry!)
The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey
The Mansion by Henry Van Dyke
Plus there are lots of great books suggested by our community in the Power of Moms Amazon Store. (When you get to the store, click on “Children’s Books,” then on “Christmas” using the menu on the right.)
QUESTION: What are your favorite books to read with your children at Christmas? What are some of your other favorite traditions that help you show your love for your children at Christmas?
CHALLENGE: Think carefully about the traditions and activities you’ve got going on during this holiday season. Prioritize traditions that foster love and teaching at this time of year even if it means making some sacrifices and opting out of some things.
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Saren, I LOVE this! Thanks so much!
This was fantastic! I purchased the Santa Claus book after seeing it on your blog last year. It’s wonderful! I too have been trying to read to my kids each night as they select a wrapped book under the tree. The trick now, is not having them fight over who gets to sit on either side of me 🙂 One of my new favorites this year is called Humphrey’s First Christmas by Carol Heyer! It has great pictures and the story is very sweet. Thanks for this great reminder that we are growing in love as we do this.
Hi Lindsay,
It’s so nice to hear that my picture book HUMPHREY’S FIRST CHRISTMAS is your new favorite!!! If you find the time you can check out a few fun things regarding Humphrey and the book trailer we did for the book: http://www.carolheyer.com/humphreys-page.html
I hope you and your family have an amazing and joyful Christmas! ~ Carol
Hello Carol, I wanted to tell you that your Gift of the Magi is one of my children’s favorites. One of my daughters checked it out three separate times from her school library last year–so this year I bought her her own copy. I’m so glad I have this chance to thank you!
Hi Alisha! That is so cool! Please tell your daughter that it means a lot to me to hear that she likes my GIFT OF THE MAJI. Thanks for letting me know! That was one of my favorite stories when I was growing up! The main characters in the book are my sister friend Suzan and her husband David! It’s always fun to put family and friends into my picture books. My mom and dad are in HUMPHREY’S FIRST CHRISTMAS. ~ Carol
Wow! Some things never change . . .
I have a friend who does the 12 Days of Christmas with her family–each day they do a different family activity, such as door bell ditching cookies, etc. One night, they have a family sleepover by the light of the Christmas tree. The kids LOVE it.
What a beautiful new tradition!
A very special Christmas book for older kids is “I Saw Three Ships” by Elizabeth Goudge. It’s short and beautifully-written, with subtle humor and suspense and gorgeous symbolism. It’s a perfect little gem of a book. My kids are too young to appreciate it, but I have started to read it myself every Christmas, and it touches me every time.
That was a beautiful quote. I feel SO motivated to slow down and read some of thses awesome stories with my family this season.
Christmas is not complete in our house without Jan Brett’s Christmas Treasury. Her illustrations are simply beautiful and the stories she chooses are timeless and heartwarming. http://www.amazon.com/Jan-Bretts-Christmas-Treasury-Brett/dp/0399237410/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1417941548&sr=8-1&keywords=jan+brett+christmas+treasury
What a timeless message. I see that even this post is a few years old! =) I wish I had found this a few weeks ago. Each year I set out to not let the stress of the holidays sweep me away but, at one point or another, it just does. It’s validating to hear that kids not only need but want our love much more than they want material things. It’s easy let the things on their list take over and feel we are falling short. Love, love, love this post.
SUCH a great reminder! Thank you!!! I have made note of your favorite books list and will hope to get a few for our family this year! =) I have a hand written list (in our Christmas bins, still packed away). I think I am going to move it to my “year ’round planner” so I can add to it throughout the year and pick some up at Garage Sales, Thrift Stores, etc as I find them. Thank you again for posting this! THIS is what MY heart longs for and LOVES about mothering…cuddling up and reading to my children. Too many times I’ve let life’s busyness get in the way and rob hours of reading time. I’m saddened for those times we’ve lost but am excited for the hours now we can regain! =) Merry Christmas!!!