photo courtesy of Allyson Smith

There are amazing, devoted, wonderful, deliberate mothers out there, and each week we’ll spotlight one of them here at The Power of Moms. Do you know a mom who deserves a little time in the spotlight? Email rachelle.price (at) powerofmoms.com. We can’t wait to meet her.

Introducing Allyson Smith

How many children do you have and what are their ages?

I have six children. I have four boys and two girls, ages 15 to 3 years old.

What have been your favorite parts of motherhood?

I think one of my favorite parts of motherhood is building a personal relationship with each of my children. I love that I have six little best friends running around me all the time. They are not just six kids clumped together. Every relationship is unique.

What have been the hardest parts of motherhood for you?

The hardest part of motherhood for me has been to realize and embrace the fact that things will probably not go the way I have it planned out in my mind. There were many disappointing days when a family picture, a night out with the kids, or a family vacation did not go as perfectly as I had hoped. But, after 15 years of parenting, I have learned to set more realistic expectations and just roll with it.

What has surprised you about motherhood?

I think something that I was not prepared for is how physically and emotionally taxing it is to be a mother. I feel like my game has to be on every moment of every waking hour. I LOVE being in the middle of it. I truly feel blessed to be able to try my hardest to raise responsible, honest, selfless, hard-working, and confident people. It will take everything I’ve got, but I signed up for it and I’m doing the best I can.

What have you learned from motherhood? Please share a specific story or incident that really taught you something.

Where do I start?!  A couple years ago I read a speech by Clayton Christensen (a professor at Harvard) called, “How Will I Measure My Life.” It really changed me as a mother. This quote profoundly impacted me:

“If you want your kids to have strong self-esteem and confidence that they can solve hard problems, those qualities won’t magically materialize in high school. You have to design them into your family’s culture–and you have to think about this very early on. Like employees, children build self-esteem by doing things that are hard and learning what works.”

After reading that I have tried very hard to be deliberate in teaching my children things and giving them experiences that will give them a foundation for the rest of their lives. If I want my children to be a certain way when they leave my home, it is up to my husband and me, and it will take all the years I have with them.

What coping strategies do you have for getting through hard times and hard days?

That is a good question. A call to my sister usually does the trick! What helps me get through a hard day or situation is staying calm. I am constantly telling myself to “remain the adult.” When I can stay unemotional about a problem I handle it so much better and I have less regret.

If it is a hard period of time and not just a situation, prayer is my lifeline. It brings perspective, peace, and patience. I also go to my husband for a listening ear and solid advice. Since he is not in the middle of it all day, he is able to see things a little more clearly than I can and help me work through it.

Most of the time a simple moment to myself can re-energize me and give needed strength. Even a trip to the grocery store by myself can do wonders.

What are some unique and interesting aspects of your family or your approach to mothering?

I am all about giving my children experiences. I really want to put them in as many unique, hard, and different situations as I can so that they are not afraid of new things. I want them to have enough confidence in themselves that they can help lift others around them. That is very important to me.  Right now we are on a four-month humanitarian trip to Cambodia, Thailand, India, and Spain. My children are so out of their comfort zone right now and I love it. New foods, new culture, new living circumstances, new people. It is helping them realize that different is not something to shy away from and that they will survive another day even when it is uncomfortable and hard.

I also try to really have fun with my kids. Laughter is a huge part of our family. I want my children to know that life is to be enjoyed and celebrated, not just endured!

Photo by Africa at www.freedigitalphotos.net

Nine years and four pregnancies after our wedding, I was wondering if red hot romance was something reserved for vampire movies, people who have dated less than a month, or cologne ads. I found out the truth about a year ago. Romance is not an accident.

According to Dr. William F. Harley, Jr. in his book, His Needs, Her Needs for Parents, romance is not something cosmic or mysterious. In fact, after years of study, behavioral scientists have found that if four key needs are met in a relationship, romance will develop. It is possible to have passion in marriages of any length.

Conversely, if these elements exist in a relationship with someone who is not our spouse, it should be a warning that romantic feelings could easily develop. We can protect our marriages by making sure these four needs are a priority in our marital relationships.

Intimate Conversation. Couples who talk at length and openly about their dreams, hopes, and personal views become emotionally bound to one another. Women in particular rank intimate conversation as one of the most satisfying aspects of a romantic relationship and are more likely to become physically intimate when lots of conversation exists. Make time to talk without the kids and listen without judgement.

Recreational Activities.  When couples get out and do things together that they love, romance develops. Men ranked this highest next to sexual intimacy in romance importance. Dating, particularly in mature marriages, should not be seen as a luxury. It is a need. If one spouse loves rock climbing, both could learn it. Love to go star gazing, cheese tasting or running? Do it together! Budget for dating and make it happen.

According to successful family therapists, couples need on average of 15 hours of alone time together a week to create and maintain romance. This may seem like a lot. However, when you were dating you spent hours together and you were also high on the romance meter.  Romance takes a consistent time investment.

Intimate Touch. This refers to non-sexual touch. Couples who hug, hold hands, touch arms, give soft caresses and other forms of caring, physical attention create romance. Touch is a basic human need. It is common that one spouse might need touch more than the other. Both spouses should learn to ask for, give and receive physical touch. Touch will elevate your “married roommate” status to “married boyfriend and girlfriend!”

Kissy Stuff.  If the previous three needs are met, then physical intimacy tends to come naturally in many relationships and be enjoyable for both partners. If this aspect of romance is a struggle, seriously examine if you have enough conversation, recreation and non-sexual touch. There are very instructive and tasteful intimacy books for couples (and not just for newlyweds). A particularly good one is And They Were Not Ashamed by therapist Laura Brotherson. Don’t be afraid to seek out help; many couples just need someone to talk to.

For my Rob and me, the common thread in each of these areas has been laughter. My husband and I were terrific friends. As time went on, I realized that the easiness, smiles and laughter we shared were a huge blessing. Trying new activities got exciting, sharing dreams wasn’t intimidating and even physical aspects of the marriage flowed because of laughter.

I know the lightness and happiness of our marriage wouldn’t happen without making a concerted effort at the weekly date. A good meal, a couple of hours playing together, and we are even in the zone to tackle tricky issues like our budget. When the sitter budget is low, we get the kids to bed early, play games, spend our $5 on Resse’s Puffs or watch a documentary. I can truly say that these simple dates have made Rob my boyfriend!

I also learned this truth when studying about romance: it is not a luxury. The quality of my marriage directly impacts the stability and happiness of my children. Those weekly bowls of breakfast cereal might save our marriages, personal happiness, and ensure that our children grow up securely. Dr. Harley mentions that marriage is the only ethical (and for many people, the only spiritual and religious place) that these essential human needs can be met. Conversation, recreation, touch and intimacy are true needs, not just nice ideas reserved for young couples dating.

To develop fierce loyalty in our marriages, we have to ensure that the four above needs are met. If they are not, we will either give up on that area of our marriage or seek the need elsewhere. Even small mental disloyalties destroy romance, damage trust and affect the happiness of spouses and children. We can not afford to let that happen. We must deliberately safe-guard and foster romance on purpose in our marriages.

QUESTION: Which of the four needs are you strongest in? Weakest? When you think of couples your admire, what do you notice that they do to fulfill the four needs? Which ones do you and your spouse need to dedicate time to? What do you  think your spouse wants more of?

CHALLENGE: Make creating romance a priority in your life. Talk to your spouse about these four needs (after a good meal and some relaxing). Plan a date with your husband. Arrange a sitter well in advance. If sitters are scarce, talk to a friend or family member. Take a cat nap to have energy for the evening. Make efforts to share dreams. Touch your spouse on the shoulder or arm. Do an activity they enjoy. Repeat weekly. Surround yourself with other happy couples.

photo by Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In our family we have been focusing on respect this month and it has made quite a difference. As oftentimes is the case, I start out thinking I am going to be teaching my children so much but I become the greatest beneficiary!

We began by having a family evening with our four young children as well as our teenage son. We talked about the meaning of respect. We gave examples of people in different scenarios being respectful and disrespectful and helped our children identify the respectful examples. A few are listed below:

1.  A child being asked to pick up his toys yells at his mother, “I can’t right now, I’m too tired!”
2.  Interrupting when someone else is talking.
3.  Using kind words like please, thank you, excuse me etc.
4.  Speaking out when the teacher is trying to read a story.
5.  Holding the door open for a mother pushing a stroller or an elderly person etc.

We discussed how we could turn the disrespectful responses or behaviors into respectful ones. For example, raising our hand in school and waiting for the teacher to call on us before we speak out. Using the words “excuse me” when needing to interrupt someone and then waiting patiently for that person to give the OK to speak.

After our discussion, we role-played some more scenarios and let our children be the teacher, mom or dad, toy left outside, etc. We discussed how it made them “feel” when disrespectful behavior was used.  (We used many of the ideas from the Values Parenting Website.)

We decided that there were many areas we could work on to bring more respect into our home. We all brainstormed a list of different ways and voted on three behaviors that we would especially focus on this month. ALL of our children really got into this activity. It was really heartwarming to see them throwing out all kinds of different ideas.

We try to set aside some time to continue our teaching efforts and focus on the monthly values each week, usually on Sunday. Today I am going to make a respect chart and have the family help me list people and things that deserve respect on one side and different, specific ways we can show respect to each person/thing.

Taking time at the dinner table for more discussion also helps to keep us thinking about the monthly value. For instance, we ask the children to think of a time during the day when they showed respect and then we all share take turns sharing those experiences with each other.

As with most any other principle we want to teach our children, the best teacher is modeling this value. When we ourselves demonstrate respectful behavior to others, our children will learn how to behave. For example, when we are driving down the street we can show respect by being kind and forgiving of other drivers’ mistakes, being respectful of coaches and refs at sporting events, using respectful language to our children and spouses and not raising our voices. When someone is doing something disrespectful, it may be wise to point that out so they learn to recognize the behavior but to be careful not to criticize or belittle the person for their mistakes.

On the flip side PRAISE respectful behavior. ENCOURAGE it. THANK your children for using it both in public and also privately. This will help them develop a sense of how good it feels to be respectful.

I am so grateful that my parents taught me respect. There were times growing up when just the idea of disappointing one of them by a bad choice prevented me from making it. I recently saw the movie Courageous. This movie was a great reminder of showing responsibility and respect for others. One part I especially loved was when a father took his teenage daughter out to dinner. The respect that was demonstrated there was amazing. If you get the chance this month, watch this movie. (It’s not for children.)

Photo submitted by Grant Cochrane at www.freedigitalphotos.net

When I read about the uprising in Syria, the nuclear issues in the Middle East, or the drug wars in Mexico, I end up feeling quite discouraged.

Here I am chopping carrots, matching socks, and sewing on Cub Scout badges–and I can’t do a thing to solve the world’s problems (or so I thought).

Yes, I want to be an informed voter.  Yes, I think one person can affect public policy and “change the world,” but what I’ve been looking for (and what I’ve finally found) are simple ways I can shape the next generation, right in my own home.

Last week, I had the chance to spend an hour on the phone with Homa Sabet Tavangar, the author of one of my new favorite books, “Growing Up Global.”  (We’ve got a book giveaway below, so be sure to leave a comment to enter.)

It’s all about raising children who feel at home in the world–children who are genuinely compassionate, appreciative of other cultures, and knowledgeable about the successes and challenges every country faces.

Think about it.  If every mother worldwide operated out of the same playbook–raising respectful, solid, global-minded children–our future would look mighty bright.

Click here to listen to our full podcast.

And if you’d like to know five simple ways that Homa suggests we begin this process of raising global children, here are some ideas from her first chapter:

(1) Keep the World at Your Fingertips

Whether it’s an inflatable globe, a classroom globe, or a huge wall map, having the world in front of us will shape our conversations.

Let’s say you have a map hanging in your kitchen, and as you’re unloading your groceries, you notice that your kiwi has a sticker reading, “Produce of Italy.”  How simple is it to show your child where the fruit was grown and how far it had to travel to get to your local grocery store? (Assuming your child isn’t throwing a tantrum because he wants to eat the jelly beans you bought, even though you haven’t had lunch yet.)

After the tantrum last Wednesday, my son and I did take a couple of minutes to explore the kiwi-Italy connection, and now “Italy” doesn’t seem like such a vague concept.  It’s a place; a place that brings him great fruit, for starters.

(2) Surf the Internet

My children love to be online, but there are so many time traps that drive me crazy.  We spent three minutes watching Conan O’Brien delivering Chinese food to New Yorkers this morning, and I’m thinking we could have done something a little more productive (even though it was pretty funny . . .). It’s not like we always have to use the Internet for education, but sprinkling a few global, educational sites into our online time is simple and effective.

National Geographic’s My Wonderful World page is a fun place to start, and the American Library Association has a listing of great websites for kids.  There are limitless resources out there, but we need to be looking for them.

(3) Find Beautiful Books

This is where I’m lacking, so it’s a good thing we have such a helpful librarian (who I’ll be visiting shortly).  Homa started out with these two favorites: Children Just Like Me and A Life Like Mine.

(4) Enrich Your Playlists and Music Collection

Your local library undoubtedly has a plethora of excellent music from around the world, but if you’re looking for some other ways to get started, I’m thrilled with Putumayo’s World Music for Kids.  And since talking with Homa, I’ve been showing my children YouTube videos of Yo-Yo Ma, and I even took my husband on a date to an Italian opera. (Romantic!)

(5) Get Passports

Even if you have no plans to travel right now, having passports opens the possibility.  My 12-year-old daughter and I are traveling together to our Power of Moms Australian Retreats next month (so exciting . . . and so nerve-wracking).  The week after I took her to the passport office, she and her siblings created their own set-up for their Zhu Zhu Pets.

They took “official” photos of each of their 12 little animals and then printed passport images off the Internet to make covers for the booklets.

Photo submitted by April Perry

Photo submitted by April Perry

This is just a small example, but children structure their play around their experiences, and even though I don’t have plans to backpack through Europe with my four little ones anytime soon, I want to create a life that literally means the world to my family.

We may not be able to do something about everything we see on the news, but can we do something (even a little something) every day to positively affect the next generation?  Absolutely.

For more great information, visit Homa’s website, www.growingupglobal.net.

QUESTION: What are the best resources you’ve found to help your children develop a global mindset?

CHALLENGE: Pick one idea–either from this post, from Homa’s website, or from your own imagination–to help your family develop a greater knowledge of and appreciation for the variety of cultures in our world.

To be entered into a drawing for a giveaway of “Growing Up Global,” please leave a comment below.  The winner will be chosen on February 28, 2012.

Title: A Lantern in Her Hand

Author: Bess Streeter Aldrich

Basic Overview:

I really liked this book. Honestly, it started out a little slow for me, but by the end I was engrossed and it’s made me think about quite a few things as a woman and a mother.

The novel is set in the late 1800′s and early 1900′s. Abbie Deal is the daughter of European immigrants and dreams of becoming a famous singer, painter or writer. She wants to be as sophisticated as her Scottish gentry ancestors. Early in her life she has the opportunity to marry a rich doctor and move away to New York. Instead, she follows her heart and marries Will Deal. Together they set off to the untamed Nebraska territory to try their hand at farming and she finds herself living in poverty and difficult conditions.

The majority of the book chronicles her pioneer struggles as a woman, wife and mother. She raises five children in humble circumstances, yet she pours her unfulfilled dreams into them. She makes them memorize Shakespeare and then later goes to great lengths to be able to pay for good schools and educational opportunities for her children. At one point an artist moves to a nearby town and Abbie finally has the opportunity to take lessons and fulfill one of her dreams. Her oldest daughter, however, has developed quite the talent for drawing and so Abbie sends her to take lessons instead.

I loved how the story didn’t gloss over Abbie’s trials. She experiences depression, jealousy and regret. She also shows great love and dedication, courage and sacrifice. Her children and grandchildren all grow up to be successful, well-educated and talented individuals with far-reaching effects. In the process, Abbie helps to settle her little town into a successful community.

Parts I Liked Best:

“Isn’t motherhood, itself, an accomplishment?” (pg 161)

“It’s queer what ambitious dreams a girl has when she is young. I thought I would sing before big audiences or paint lovely pictures or write a splendid book….And just think…now I am eighty and I have not painted nor written nor sung.”

“But you’ve done lots of things, Grandma. You’ve baked bread…and pieced quilts…and taken care of your children.”

“…That’s just it…I’ve only baked bread and pieced quilts and taken care of children. But some women have to, don’t they?…But I’ve dreamed dreams….And I think I dreamed them into the children…and the children are carrying them out….”(pg 229)

How This Book Made an Impact In My Life, Especially as a Mother (or why I just really liked it):

Aren’t we lucky to live in the day and age we live in? Abbie was right, some women have had to give up their dreams just so their family could have basic necessities and survive. We have educational opportunities, technology and discretionary time our ancestors would never have dreamed of. Reading this book helped me realize how fortunate I am and how important it is to use my free time wisely.

The other thing that really hit me after reading this was the impact of a mother’s love. Abbie may not have been successful according to her own standards, but because of her love and sacrifice, her children were a force for good in the world. It reminded me that our mothering struggles count for something in the long run.

In the book, two of Abbie’s grown children ended up having little desire to get married or to have children. I wonder if this was common of their generation – having watched the struggles of their parents, did seeing the financial and personal costs of caring for children discourage them from following in their footsteps? This helped me realize that given the increase of discretionary time that we have, it is important as mothers to continue to progress in our talents and fulfill our dreams. Our children will see that motherhood is not all sacrifice and struggle, but also a time for personal growth.

Photo by jrophoto at www.flickr.com

In the hilarious 1991 comedy “What About Bob”, Richard Dreyfus plays a successful psychiatrist with an extremely dependent and OCD patient (Bill Murray) who can’t cope with the thought of him going away on vacation. To help assuage his fears, the psychiatrist gives his patient, Bob, a “prescription” to take a vacation of his own while he’s gone; A vacation from his problems.

Today I’d like to take a page from the doctor’s prescription pad and invite every mother reading these words to take a vacation from a problem plaguing far too many of us: The problem of negative self-talk.

This month, we’ve been talking a lot about how to nurture and show love to our spouses and children, but what about ourselves? Many mothers (and women in general) have a special knack for squashing their self-esteem to smithereens with a near constant barrage of insults and put downs. You’ve gotten so fat. Why can’t you keep a clean house? Another pathetic dinner? You should be more organized! The children are going to grow up to be criminals because you were too tired to read character building stories before bed tonight. 

Just this past week I finally got myself signed up with the Bloom game on our website. Being as honest with myself as possible during the self-assessment test, I was struck by how low I scored myself in almost every category. It struck me because even while I was in the process of assessing myself so low, I recognized that anyone else scoring me in the same categories would probably give me a much higher score.

Why are we so hard on ourselves? Is it an over exaggerated sense of humility? Do we somehow think if we allow affirmative, supportive thoughts to flourish in our minds we will turn horribly arrogant and prideful? Absurd!

Maybe it’s related to how much we want to succeed–the higher our aspirations, the lower we “score” ourselves where we are. But rather than motivating us to succeed, focusing on our deficiencies only discourages us. Pointless!

Sadly, I think some mothers’ negative self-talk is nothing more than a replay of words they heard growing up. (I hate to even acknowledge this, but I know it’s an unfortunate possibility.)

Whatever the reason for the unfriendly inner dialogue, it’s pure rubbish (I’ve been watching British TV on the treadmill lately) and time to stop. Stop! This is where your vacation from negative self-talk comes in. Here’s how it’s going to work:

1. Set your itinerary. Where is it that you want to go? That strong and stable place of Self-Confidence, or perhaps the peaceful island of Contentment. Only you can decide which destination is the most motivating, but having a vision of what your life can look like without negative self-talk is crucial. Maybe you could even call a glass company and hire them to etch “You are what you think” into your bathroom mirror. (Not really, but you get the idea. If you do go ahead with the etching, pay a little extra for some phrases like “You look fabulous!” and “I am the master of my own destiny!” Why not?)
2. Get packing. Those old negative thoughts, that is. Spend a day taking note of all the nasty little things you say to yourself in your head and write them down. Once you’ve cleared your head (and heart) of all the debris, pack the list up (with your kitchen trash) and say adios, sayonara, ciao and adieu! Noticing the things you say to yourself will be extremely enlightening, and then packing them up and throwing them away will ensure you travel light.
3. GO! For at least a day, but it would be really, really nice to make this a permanent vacation. (Who doesn’t want a permanent vacation from something ugly and depressing? Especially when it’s free?) It will feel unnatural at first, and you may not feel worthy of such luxurious living, but you must try as hard as you can for as long as you are on this vacation to lavish yourself with praise, encouragement, compliments, and lots and lots of love. What’s the worst thing that can happen? I can’t even think of a single possibility!

I know I’m making this sound easier than it is, and the truth is, I know that it’s not (easy). But I’m right there with you, just setting my own itinerary, and I think it’s going to be one of the best vacations ever. (What are you going to wear? I’m just sure you’ll look fabulous! No, those jeans do NOT make you look fat . . .)

QUESTION: How much is your negative self-talk affecting you and your family?

CHALLENGE: Set your itinerary, pack up your negative thoughts, and go on vacation!

So how do I raise children who feel at home in the world?  How do I prepare my children to work and serve in a global society?  How do I create a home full of rich traditions, fun (and educational) discussions, and exciting new experiences that build character and compassion?

I lucked out big-time when I met Homa Tavangar, the author of Growing Up Global: Raising Children to Be At Home in the World.

This lady knows her stuff.  She has three children of her own, and she has spent years putting together simple, doable ideas that any family–on any budget–can implement into their homes.

Seriously, I was so excited about this podcast that I could hardly sleep the night before, and our family has been benefiting from Homa’s wisdom ever since.

Want to listen in on our conversation?  Want to help your children connect genuinely with people and appreciate the beauty of other cultures?

You’ll love the results, and you’ll be amazed at how your own family bonds are strengthened along the way.

Click here to listen to the podcast, “Raising Global Children.”

If you’d like to visit Homa’s fabulous website, it’s called Growing Up Global.

We’ve also put together a full Power of Moms Book Summary.

Photo by the Cacaobug at www.flickr.com

Valentine gift for husband. Check. Help out at the class party. Check. Prepare a special treat for the kids. Check. Get a babysitter and schedule a half hour massage for self. What?!

A big way we show love for our families is by taking care of them. Most mothers are pros at taking care of their loved ones. (That’s what we do, right?) But when it comes to showing love for ourselves by taking care of the person inside the mom? Unfortunately, that doesn’t come so naturally to many of us.

When a mother has a hard time loving and taking care of herself, there are usually three reasons in my mind: guilt, guilt, and something called guilt. Am I wrong? Where does this come from? For some, they are such sweet little softies they have a hard time saying ‘no’ to the endless requests, demands, and expectations of those around them. They think a “good” mom always says yes, but ironically, this means they ultimately say ‘no’ to themselves!

Another reason is that many of our own mothers didn’t know how to do anything for themselves without extreme guilt. (The “martyr mother” stereotype is a joke for a reason–there’s some truth to it.) And while we all appreciate the mother who is always giving selflessly to those around her, it’s also nice to know she isn’t having a private nervous breakdown at the end of the day when she finally gets those two minutes to herself!

There are other reasons of course, but they all lead to the same unfortunate place. Our hope at The Power of Moms is to get mothers to their “happy place” where they love and take care of themselves.

We’ve all heard the following analogies before, but let’s review:
You can’t draw water from an empty well.
In the case of the plummeting airplane, you can’t put the oxygen mask on your child if you are mask-less and unconscious yourself!

Okay. We get it. But what does that look like on an ordinary day–this “love and take care of yourself” stuff?

I posed the question on my personal blog, and got the funniest response from one of my friends. Here it is: “How do I show love for myself? By getting into a hot, bubbly bath tub all by myself with some good reading material when there is laundry to be done, homework papers to be signed, and musical practice to oversee. Instead I say, ‘If you are bleeding, dying, or there is a fire, call my name. Otherwise, LEAVE. ME. ALONE.’” Now there’s a woman who knows her boundaries!

So how do you show love for yourself?  I have a few thoughts of my own, but as always, I’d love to hear yours.

Thinking of the five love languages, if your love language is physical touch, go ahead and schedule that massage for yourself or (gasp!) ask your husband or children to give you one! If it’s words of affirmation, keep a daily journal of things you did right and all the reasons you’re a fabulous mom. If it’s quality time, set apart a certain time each day when you are “off limits” to requests. (No guilt trips, just tell everyone you need some time to yourself to re-charge by taking that bubble bath or reading a good book.) If your love language is acts of service, how about committing yourself to finishing that project or task you don’t really enjoy, but will appreciate so much when finished. And if your love language is receiving gifts? Buy yourself a little something simply because it brings a smile to your face! (I’ve got some french truffles hidden in my cookbook cupboard for this very purpose!)

QUESTION: How do you show love for yourself?
CHALLENGE: Take this love language quiz, and figure out how to treat yourself right!

Author: Homa Sabet Tavangar

Genre: Parenting/How-To

Click here to listen to the companion podcast with April Perry and Homa Sabet Tavangar.

Brief Summary: This is hands-down the best book I’ve ever read about helping children to develop a healthy, beautiful, meaningful perspective of the world.  Here’s what I wrote on my Amazon review:

I consider myself to be one of Homa’s most enthusiastic (and hungry) students. I’ve never been outside of North America, and although I live in a very diverse part of California, I just haven’t done a very good job at “globalizing” my children yet. I feel like everything she’s teaching me in this book is information I’ve been CRAVING.

In the first chapter alone, I took a whole page of notes–great websites to visit, books to buy, conversations to have with my children, ways to incorporate maps and international music into my home, etc.

My children are at great ages to start implementing this seriously (4, 8, 9, and 12), and I honestly can’t wait to learn more. Thanks for putting together such a fabulous resource.

This book is fun to read and it excites me to action, but it doesn’t overwhelm me.  I know you’ll love it.

Parts I liked Best:

(1) I love how Homa makes this whole process simple.  She shows us how to incorporate global thinking into our everyday lives.  For example, one chapter is called, “Be a Friend.” and it includes six ways that the “Golden Rule” is expressed within six different faiths.  What a great conversation to have around the dinner table!

(2) There’s another chapter on play, which features tons of ideas to give our kids a break from the video games and help them participate in active games that are played around the world.  From board games like Backgammon and Mancala to outside games like “Conquer New Lands” and “Sea Serpent,” children can learn to have fun while also learning about other countries and cultures.  (There are lots of birthday party and holiday ideas, as well.)

(3) Looking for fun ways to teach your kids about geography?.  I love Homa’s ideas like posting a map in the kitchen, talking about where your fruits and vegetables are grown, or discussing the location of events in the news.  This book has opened my eyes to creative, exciting ways to get the kids talking about the world . . . and not in a “stuffy classroom” kind of way.

How This Book Made an Impact In My Life, Especially as a Mother:

I want to be a deliberate mother.  That’s why I run The Power of Moms.  One time I saw a framed saying that said, “Home: Where Your Story Begins,” and I thought, “Wow, what kind of a home am I creating for my children?”  I  want our home to be a place where we are learning, growing, broadening our minds, learning new languages, cooking new recipes, reading world literature, keeping up on current events, and thinking of ways to serve those who are in need.

Sometimes it feels so overwhelming, and just getting everyone dressed, fed, and to their various activities is more than enough to fill my plate.  But the ideas in Growing Up Global are things you can do along the way.  You’re already on the computer, watching movies, playing games, eating food, celebrating holidays, and having discussions.  It’s simple to incorporate a global focus into these activities . . . and create a stronger, more unified world along the way.