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- Perspectives on Emotion: (5) How do you lose the guilt of the 500 other things you “should” be doing?
Perspectives on Emotion: (5) How do you lose the guilt of the 500 other things you “should” be doing?
- By The Power of Moms
- Published 02/9/2008
- The Power of Sharing Ideas: What Works
A1. Realize that the key to a happy life and clean home is, "simplify, simplify, simplify." Often this means saying "no" to many great things. I like to remember that I am not doing _______ so that I can _______ instead. Then I realize that the second thing would not be possible unless I say no the first thing. Sometimes it is easier and better to say no.
A2. Write or think up a list of the sensitive, respectful influences you have in your life. Set some limits on who can author your "should" list and edit out any influence that demeans or holds your worth ransom.
A3. Realize there is a possibility that the kid in you might not have been taught how to defend itself with validation and hope. Commit yourself to learning how, so that when your kids grow up, they will know how!
A4. Be aware that the “should” list, unless you rename it as something like "things to brainstorm win/win solutions for," might try to transform itself into an “unmet needs” list, which can plague your family with conflict. Go through carefully and discern and replace all the "shoulds" that deplete you. All of those can be replaced with things that replenish you and build your family and your relationships with them.
A2. Write or think up a list of the sensitive, respectful influences you have in your life. Set some limits on who can author your "should" list and edit out any influence that demeans or holds your worth ransom.
A3. Realize there is a possibility that the kid in you might not have been taught how to defend itself with validation and hope. Commit yourself to learning how, so that when your kids grow up, they will know how!
A4. Be aware that the “should” list, unless you rename it as something like "things to brainstorm win/win solutions for," might try to transform itself into an “unmet needs” list, which can plague your family with conflict. Go through carefully and discern and replace all the "shoulds" that deplete you. All of those can be replaced with things that replenish you and build your family and your relationships with them.