What makes a mom happy when life is chaotic or when everything seems to be going wrong? I am a mother of four, pregnant with our fifth who is only about five weeks away from joining our family. I thought that life these past few months had been hard and a struggle to just be a pregnant mother of four. Only a week ago did we find out that our athletic 6 ½ year-old son has a rare bone disease that could effect his physical abilities in the next 3-4 years. Little did I know that life could become more hard and more of a struggle. After being in shock and denial for the first few days, I’ve come to realize that never have I had so many moments of reflection where I noticed how beautiful all my children are, how much I love them, how blessed I am to be their mother, and that I just cherish everything about them. I’ve taken more time to sit down and read to them, grab the camera and take a quick snapshot of something cute, tell them I love them, and stop what I’m doing at the moment to really focus on listening to what they have to say about their day. I’ve felt like I’ve had more patience, like there was more love in the home. I’m thankful for that, thankful for the trials that are given to us that help us to be better people. Sometimes it takes something that may seem horrible to have this awakening of how blessed we really are to be mothers. I think that when life does seem to be going wrong, it’s easier to see how life has been wonderful up to that point and really how wonderful it still is. I remember reading in a book of scripture, “For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things.” If there weren’t, we wouldn’t enjoy the wonderful times that we do have. I am just so happy to be a mother, no matter the trials and struggles that life sends our way. I know we can grow through these trials and become better and stronger for it.

Panic over such things goes away if you are prepared to look forward to chaos or roll well with the unexpected. Frankly, perfectionists cannot handle chaos or the unexpected well. If you're into seeing what the pure love of Christ can do for you, then chaos and the unexpected really are grand opportunities to look forward to. Paul promises this. Next time your child spills something, analyze it with them for it's scientific meaning and potential instead of lecturing. Next time someone comes over and your house is a disaster, see if they are judgmental, and if they are realize they live in inner terror. If they make a rude comment, just agree and add, "Yes, but love resides here."

When life is chaotic, my energy reserves become depleted faster. It seems to be a vicious cycle because the more worn out I feel, the easier it becomes to let in negative thoughts about myself and things around me. I found this happening some time ago and soon realized that without meaning to, I had allowed myself to become completely overwhelmed and discouraged. The list of things I needed to change seemed tiresomely long, but I decided to make one little change that I thought would require the least amount of additional energy. At night before I would go to bed, I would make myself stop and name 3 specific things that I had done "right" that day. They were never earth-shattering. They included doing the dishes, getting my daughter to dance class on time (that one actually was earth-shattering), really paying attention to one of my kids, making dinner, hugging my husband when he came home from work, speaking kindly to a child when I felt exasperated, etc. I was amazed as I allowed myself to recognize the good how quickly the darkness disappeared and the cycle of despair was broken. How often I am my own worst enemy when it's actually just as easy (and a lot more enjoyable) to let myself to be my own cheerleader! This nightly list is a reminder to me that as moms we are one of the greatest forces of power for good in the world. Surprisingly the power comes from the simplest things we do.