I am utterly shocked at my confidence in motherhood…five years later.  And three children.  When my son was born I could barely put on his clothes.  I knew I would break him.  And his chicken legs were the smallest I’d seen.  Wait, had I even held a newborn baby before? 

I was dumbfounded going to the grocery store for the first time without my baby.  Everyone just thought I was a regular person there.  They just passed me by.  They didn’t look at me or notice.  Didn’t they know I was a mom now?  Couldn’t they see it on my face?  Or tell that my heart had doubled and I now felt like a mama bear?  That I’d imagined what I would do if someone tried to harm him?  Nope.  But now I was forever changed.  And I wondered how many other women I had passed at the grocery store before and thought they were just regular.  But I had just accomplished something cooler than anything I’ve ever done before. 

But now, bring it on.  Sure, my house is a wreck and dinner is sometimes frozen pizza, but we have fun.  We probably watch too much TV and listen to the music too loud.  My kids are smart and funny, and just maybe some of that is a reflection of me--my dedication to teach and love them.  I believe quantity matters just as much as quality.  "So, you are having a hard day and are at your wits end…bring your kid over." The more the merrier.   

Baffling, from the vivid memories I have of sweating when I helped watched another child for a few hours as a new mom.  The time went so slowly.  But over the last five years I have experienced my own fairy godmothers who have miraculously called to offer a playdate.  Did they know my husband would be late again that week and I needed a break?  I love those women and am so grateful.  And crazy that I count myself as one of them. 

And I’m surprised how used to I am being dirty.  Food on my clothes, snot wiped on my pants, spitup on my shoulder.  With my first baby, I cried every time I had to change my clothes…and it was at least four times a day.  Now a hurricane would have to land on me for me to have to add to the amount of laundry already on my to-do list.  But I still put on makeup every day and fix and straighten my hair…even if I didn’t shower. 

I am amazed at the mom I’ve become and still have in me to be.  Who’d a thunk a regular girl like me would turn into a happy, self assured mother of three?  I’m floored.