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- Lining Up With the Peanut Butter
Lining Up With the Peanut Butter
- By April Perry
- Published 08/15/2008
- Helpful Hints on How to Think
Several experiences during the past week have gotten me to think about this...hard. First, I attended a funeral of a dear friend and listened to her daughter, grandchildren, and friends talk about her influence in their lives. They didn't mention a thing about how popular she had been or how beautiful her house was. Second, a friend of mine confided that as a young girl, she never had enough blankets or food, so she was constantly cold and hungry--I know I don't even have an inkling of how many people out there have incredibly challenging lives. Third, I have been reading the blog of a mother whose baby recently drowned, and my heart has been hurting right along with her. I've shed many tears just thinking about what she's going through, and I have been hugging my little baby every chance I get. I also learned that three different friends of ours have cancers that most likely will be bringing their lives to a close earlier than anticipated. I can't even begin to fathom the heartbreak they and their families are going through right now. Finally, I spent some time on the phone with one of my dear sisters whose son has been unconscious in the hospital for several days, and we are all hoping and praying he'll be able to come out of it and walk and play again. She and her husband have been amazingly strong during this time, but I know they must be having a harder time than they let on.
I'm not trying to depress anyone, but at those times when "life" jumps up and reminds us how uncertain our current circumstances are, we get a glimpse of where our "tennis ball" needs to be. My worries about the window treatments I need for my bathrooms or the dance class I need to get my daughter in are not that big of a deal. What matters to me is the love of my family, the time I get to spend with the people I love, the goodness I can contribute to our neighborhood and community, the satisfaction of hard work, the fun of wholesome recreation, the blessings of forgiveness and empathy--all that stuff that no one can see or take away.
It does often feel that everyone else is happier, cuter, skinnier, and more talented, but the truth is that real people out there, including our family members, need our love and compassion. Most people in the world are not living in a Better Homes and Gardens feature home. Most people don't have perfect bodies like the photo-shopped models. Credit cards cannot buy happiness. All children bicker and get messy--even the ones that always look perfect. As I open my eyes, and really see what reality is, I'm convinced that it's our relationships and the service we give to one another that really matters.
I want to spend my time encouraging the children who play with my children and tell them how happy I am to be their neighbor. I want to give my friends shoulder massages, read stories to my children, smooch my husband, deliver birthday cards to whoever's having a birthday, sing at the Life Care center, hang "street sweeper warning signs" so my neighbors don't get tickets, talk on the phone to someone who might need a happy voice to listen to, and smile at the people restocking the produce at the grocery store. I want to make a difference and stop thinking about ME.
I'll get off my soap box now, but I know this past week has been a time of growth for me. There's too much competition out there among mothers. We want bigger houses, jet skis, a bigger wardrobe, tickets to the theater every weekend, and dinners at the best restaurants. Too many of us feel like the unpopular girl on the empty lunch bench--trying desperately to feel important. Too many of us feel dissatisfied with what we are, and then we take it out on our husbands and children. I'm guilty of this more often than I'd like, as much as I hate to admit it. But it doesn't have to be that way. I get to choose where I "park" each day--and just because I scratch up my van once doesn't mean I have to do it again.
The one good thing about that 17-inch stripe down the back of my van is that now, every time I see it, I think of my life and ask myself, "Am I lining up with the peanut butter TODAY?" I hope I never do it again.
I'm not trying to depress anyone, but at those times when "life" jumps up and reminds us how uncertain our current circumstances are, we get a glimpse of where our "tennis ball" needs to be. My worries about the window treatments I need for my bathrooms or the dance class I need to get my daughter in are not that big of a deal. What matters to me is the love of my family, the time I get to spend with the people I love, the goodness I can contribute to our neighborhood and community, the satisfaction of hard work, the fun of wholesome recreation, the blessings of forgiveness and empathy--all that stuff that no one can see or take away.
It does often feel that everyone else is happier, cuter, skinnier, and more talented, but the truth is that real people out there, including our family members, need our love and compassion. Most people in the world are not living in a Better Homes and Gardens feature home. Most people don't have perfect bodies like the photo-shopped models. Credit cards cannot buy happiness. All children bicker and get messy--even the ones that always look perfect. As I open my eyes, and really see what reality is, I'm convinced that it's our relationships and the service we give to one another that really matters.
I want to spend my time encouraging the children who play with my children and tell them how happy I am to be their neighbor. I want to give my friends shoulder massages, read stories to my children, smooch my husband, deliver birthday cards to whoever's having a birthday, sing at the Life Care center, hang "street sweeper warning signs" so my neighbors don't get tickets, talk on the phone to someone who might need a happy voice to listen to, and smile at the people restocking the produce at the grocery store. I want to make a difference and stop thinking about ME.
I'll get off my soap box now, but I know this past week has been a time of growth for me. There's too much competition out there among mothers. We want bigger houses, jet skis, a bigger wardrobe, tickets to the theater every weekend, and dinners at the best restaurants. Too many of us feel like the unpopular girl on the empty lunch bench--trying desperately to feel important. Too many of us feel dissatisfied with what we are, and then we take it out on our husbands and children. I'm guilty of this more often than I'd like, as much as I hate to admit it. But it doesn't have to be that way. I get to choose where I "park" each day--and just because I scratch up my van once doesn't mean I have to do it again.
The one good thing about that 17-inch stripe down the back of my van is that now, every time I see it, I think of my life and ask myself, "Am I lining up with the peanut butter TODAY?" I hope I never do it again.
Comments
Comment #1 (Posted by Diana Bibolet)
I loved this article. It is hard sometimes to re-focus on what is really important. Our families, friends and others we come in contact with. Giving attention, time and affection is always much easier than we think. Thank you for this very important and humble reminder April!
Comment #2 (Posted by Callie Crum)
April, that was a very touching, very well written article. I've got a couple of friends going through some tragic things this week as well, and it is a good reminder that dirty dishes are not as important as love and service to family and friends. I'm glad I took the time to read you article today. You are a fabulous mom and I admire your desire to reach out and uplift others!
Comment #3 (Posted by Lani Hilton)
what a powerful analogy this is! We are just trying to figure out how to park in our new garage and can very much relate---not only the garge but setting up the schedule for the new school year too. Very thoughtfully written! Thank you.
Comment #4 (Posted by Saren)
I love this article. You're such a great writer. You captured something I've been struggling with but hadn't really identified I was struggling with until I read your article. It's so very easy to get caught up in things that really don't matter and hold ourselves up against expectations that we actually don't care about that much once we step back and really look at things. Thanks so much for this!