(6) People get to have conversations with other people.  We can’t spend all our family time talking on the phone with our friends or chatting online—our children need us.  However, if we would like to have a reasonably-lengthed conversation with another adult, that is an acceptable request.  If my children need me while I’m talking to someone else, they come hold my hand until there’s a break in the conversation (Okay, actually, they interrupt all the time, and I have to keep asking them to please hold my hand if they need something.  Occasionally they remember, but not very often). 

(7) People get to snuggle with their spouses.  I like to sit by my husband, and if we want to smooch in the kitchen while the kids are yelling “Gross!” that’s okay.

(8) People get to take a break.  In the general work-force, each employee gets a lunch break and a couple of short breaks during the day…enforced by the law.  When I am home with my children, no one is knocking on my door saying, “Excuse me, but did Mrs. Perry get her nap in today?  We’re here to make sure she has a twenty-minute break for every four hours she works.”    That would be great, but we are the ones responsible for planning our own breaks.  We can sit down and put our feet up every once in awhile, take a night away when we’re in need of some rejuvenation…whatever we can creatively come up with.  It is an investment in our families!

(9) People get to dream.  Just because we’re caught up in the pressing needs of our children doesn’t mean that we can’t think about our own goals and dreams.  I know one mom who’s working on her “six-pack”, one who is training to be a photographer, another who wants to travel with her children all over the world…there is no right or wrong way to dream, but let’s not forget that dreaming is a wonderful activity!  If we want our dreams to come true someday, those dreams have to exist in the first place.

(I’m sure there are probably several more that I haven’t even listed, but you get the picture.  If you would like to add an idea, you can list them in the “Comments” section below.)

Your goal is to be better than “sane”

One evening as my husband and I were trying to figure out our schedule, he said, “How can I best be of help to you this week?”  I looked at my calendar and then replied, “Well, to be sane, I need…” and I proceeded to list a couple of things he could help me with so I could complete all the “have-to’s” for the week.

What my husband said next was so sweet that I almost jumped into his arms.  He said, “April, I don’t want you to just be ‘sane’, I want you to thrive.”  That was a whole new perspective for me.  After thinking about his question for three seconds, I replied, “WELL THEN…here’s what I need to thrive.  I need 8 hours of sleep during each 24-hour period, four days of exercise, three hours at the library each month…alone, a date night once a week…and I went on for awhile more.  Nothing was unreasonable, just formerly unmentioned.  I recognize that not everyone has the support of a loving spouse.  We each have our own challenges, and we need to figure out how we can thrive in the circumstances we are in.  What do you need in order to thrive?

Why does all this matter?

Because YOU matter.  Maybe no one has told you that today, but you are important—not just because you do a whole lot of work for everyone else, but because you are a person.  There are times in our lives when we are out of balance—when we have a newborn, when our week is incredibly hectic, etc.—but as we treat ourselves as people, we will feel happy, valued, and more content with our families.  We will be able to see more clearly what we have to offer the world, and we will teach our children that if they get the precious opportunity to become parents, they will still be people, too!  Being a mommy is the greatest…I hope you can enjoy the process and treasure every moment because you are a person.