It seems silly that I have to think of this occasionally, but, yes, in addition to all the hats we wear at this party called parenthood, Mommy is a person.  Some moms are great at being people; they know how to balance their own needs with the needs of their families, they are happy and fulfilled, and they are respected by themselves and their loved ones.  Over the past nine years, I have learned so much from the examples of mommy-people around me, and this article is what I wish I had read at the very start.

Mothers have an amazing capacity to love and care for their families.  We do not expect our lives to be unchanged once we get to have children; their laughter, smiles, darling antics, and the love that radiates from them (even as infants) are worth whatever it takes.  The challenge comes when we start to feel like martyrs and forget that behind the snuggles, carpools, discipline, and endless procession of meals, we are still women.

The first time I remember wondering where “April” had gone was during lunch one afternoon when I sat down with my three young children to eat a sandwich.  Before I had even gotten past the crust, someone wanted a refill of milk, another needed a side of cheese, and a third wanted the sandwich opened, not folded.  You’ve been there, right?  I didn’t like the frustration I felt, so the next time we all sat down to eat, I did things a little differently.

After serving everyone their food (and a napkin and drink and utensils), I asked, “Does everyone have everything they need?  I’d like you to tell me right now because I am going to sit down and eat my food.  I’m not getting up again until I’m done because Mommy is a person.  Let’s say that all together.  Mommy…is…a person.  That’s right.  I get to eat, too.  Everyone is all set?  Great!”

It took a few days of training before my children stopped asking for things mid-meal, but it actually worked!  Sometimes I have to stifle a giggle at the dinner table because I’m deliriously excited to actually eat a whole plate of food in one sitting.  Now my son will say, “Mom, can I have another roll with jelly…when you’re done eating?”  I want to kiss him on his head and say, “Bless you, child!” 

What surprised me was how quickly everyone agreed to my person-hood.  My children want me to be happy—they’re really not trying to be overly-demanding.  It’s just that they are children.  I need to let them know what I need.  This epiphany has helped me in many areas of my life, so I have included a few ideas below that will hopefully be helpful to other moms out there.