In book group, as we discussed the ideas in this article, we realized that yes, it’s not fair that women get so little recognition and monetary compensation for the enormously difficult and valuable work they do. But we also realized that what really matters is not whether or not we get social security benefits or whether or not the professional world starts to recognize the amazing skills that motherhood helps women develop. What really matters is how we view ourselves as mothers.

We are all better mothers and better people in general when we realize our own worth, give ourselves a few pats on the back, and keep our self-esteem high. When I stop and think about some of the unique and very marketable skills I’m developing as a mother, I feel pretty good about myself. I’m a multi-tasker – I can nurse the baby and talk on the phone while helping my two-year old stack blocks and thinking about what to make for dinner.

I’ve got money management skills – I can plan how to make our income cover necessities, figure out ways to get deals, save by cutting everyone’s hair myself and figuring out simple meals to make with cheap ingredients. I’ve got the ability to manage complex schedules and keep everyone happy (on good days) – I can somehow fit grocery shopping, some time at the gym, a super quick shower, writing this article, returning stuff at Target, cleaning up sticky juice spread across the kitchen floor, weeding half a flower bed (before being interrupted by a wailing child), talking with a neighbor about her depression, watching a friend’s child, putting a child in time out and having a meaningful talk about his actions, and reading stories and working on ABC’s into the spaces around nap time, play time, diaper changes, and mealtimes for the kids.

I’ve got negotiation skills and I’m good under pressure – I can talk a toddler out of a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store (a lot of the time). I’m good at talking to people on their level and in their language – I can explain just about anything to my audience’s satisfaction by incorporating “Bob the Builder” and Elmo terminology. Look at me go! And I’m sure anyone reading this article can do all sorts of amazing things in addition to the things I’ve mentioned.

You’re skilled! You’re doing things that would knock most famous or rich or highly educated or highly trained people out there right off their feet. Any of us could probably get out in the workforce and do amazing things for monetary profit. But we choose to be with our kids and do amazing things for the profit of souls.

I do hope that one day motherhood will be more fully appreciated by society as a whole – not just as something nice, but as something necessary and beautiful and exemplary. I hope that one day someone other than other mothers out there will understand what I do all day, how hard it is and how adept I’ve become at so many crazy things! But mostly, I hope that husbands and children and mothers themselves can learn to more fully appreciate the amazing things that mothers do and the fact that mother’s work is really the centerpiece of our society.

Maybe one day this sort of realization will spread beyond families and lead to some policy changes and more public recognition of the work mothers do and even to mothers being heavily recruited for their invaluable skills if they decide to rejoin the workforce at some point. But more immediately, a more full appreciation of the importance of mothers’ important work by husbands, children, and mothers themselves could lead to some changes of actions and some changes of hearts right now, right in the home, right where it really matters.