Why I’m Grateful for Amy Glass

Powerofmoms.AmyGlassThere’s been quite a stir going on in the media (particularly among mothers) over a post written by a woman named Amy Glass titled, “I Look Down on Young Women with Husbands and Kids and I’m Not Sorry.”

You may have already seen it–or at least read one of the many rebuttals published out there. But in essence, the post says that being a wife and a mother isn’t “real work” and that, as a society, we should not applaud women for choosing the “path of least resistance.”

Okay, so as Co-Director of Power of Moms–an organization that, for seven years, has been gathering millions of deliberate mothers who believe the exact opposite, I feel a responsibility to step in and take part in this frenzied conversation.

However, my response isn’t one of “defense” or even a return attack on Amy Glass.

Instead, I’m going to explain why I am grateful to her.

#1. Because of Amy’s post, I have seen more women AND men–than ever before–stand up and speak on behalf of the family.

Sometimes, until you’re challenged, you simply don’t make the time to articulate what you believe. Certainly, you live those beliefs, and you apply all that energy to actually strengthening your family–which, I think we would all agree is the most important thing we can do. But wow, it’s exciting to see good people–from a variety of backgrounds and walks of life standing up to emphasize the absolute importance of the work done in our homes.

#2. Because of Amy’s post, I feel even more excited about the marketplace of ideas.

Amy’s perspective isn’t our society’s standard of truth. It is one blog post, written with a shocking headline and a handful of inflammatory statements–intended to generate clicks, shares, and discussion. That’s a common strategy in today’s online world, and Amy did that job well. But when we boil it down, that post is simply one opinion. And it’s okay for people to have different opinions.

Clearly, her life experiences have shaped her personal belief that no woman deliberately chooses to be a wife and mother, but the beautiful thing about the marketplace of ideas is that everyone has the right to share. We have the privilege to use the power of language to either tear others down or build them up. I’m thrilled to make the choice every single day to strengthen other mothers.

#3. Because of Amy’s post, I am more committed than ever to the work I am doing here at Power of Moms.

The thing that really surprised me about my reaction to Amy’s post was that I hardly had a reaction. This wasn’t new information to me. I’ve been hearing perspectives like this throughout my whole life. And I didn’t even feel the need to write a response because that’s what we’ve been doing for seven years here at Power of Moms.

In the blink of an eye, I could list dozens of posts we’ve already published that clearly explain the truths and principles for which we stand.

Motherhood Defies Logic – A post I wrote in response to an article describing motherhood as mind-numbing, menial work akin to prison or slavery.

Barbara Walters’ One Regret – Allyson Reynolds’ recent post describing how Barbara Walters–a woman who, by anyone’s standard, has accomplished a lot in her life–regrets only that she didn’t have more children.

Your Children Want YOU! – One of our viral posts on Power of Moms that has been shared more than 340,000 times.

I love my life. It centers on my family, and here at Power of Moms, we gather with women who feel the same.

Until someone lives the life of a deliberate mother–or at least spends a significant amount of time with one–he or she simply will not understand how beautiful this experience really is. Not everyone wants to live the same way I do, and I can respect that, but no matter how many people try to tell me that the work I am doing as a wife and a mother is worthless, I will always know the truth.

I am grateful for the chance I have to use my voice.

I’m grateful for children who make paintings for me like this:

MotherhoodQuotebyGrace

I’m grateful for the 30,000+ deliberate mothers who have registered on our site and who bless my family on a daily basis.

I’m grateful for the two and a half million visits we received last year and for the support that each of you bring to our community.

And yes, I’m grateful for voices who challenge what we believe and give us the opportunity to speak about what we know is right.

If you haven’t yet, I challenge you to make some time to read the articles linked above and then take this opportunity to respectfully use your voice to emphasize the value that both men and women bring to a family.  Whether it’s through a discussion with your children, a post on social media, an entry in your journal, or a formal statement written on your own blog (please link to those below in the Comments!), each voice is critical.

When our children look back at what has been written–when they look back and see how our history was shaped–they need to see our voices in there, reminding them that family means everything.

 

QUESTION: Has this post by Amy Glass inspired you to use your voice?

CHALLENGE: It’s common for negative posts about motherhood to go viral, but we, as deliberate mothers, can help to put excellent, family-strengthening ideas into the social networks. Take a moment today to share a post–either from Power of Moms or another site you love–and do your part to make your voice heard.

 

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Comments

  1. says

    Honestly? I felt it was a ploy for this website to get more page views and increase their stats. I rolled my eyes when I read it, and thought, “I’m not going to give that any more of my time!” But, I DO appreciate all the positive reaction that has come from it. Looking down on other Moms is hateful, and honestly, it’s immature. I’m glad there are plenty of other Moms out there who are doing good things instead of spreading negativity for their own gain!

    • says

      That was my thought, too. Meridith. A way to get traffic and buzz, no matter how offensive. The site in question has had a lot of bad reviews lately from bloggers and commentors, so I could see this as a last-ditch effort to generate visitors and links. I think honestly it’s either that or poorly constructed satire. Either way, I am glad some good has come from it, even if that was not the intent.

    • April Perry says

      Thanks Meredith. I felt the exact same way. No one is even sure who the “real” Amy Glass is, and each of her posts on that site seem to be written with the intent to generate views. However, it’s given me hope in the strength of our culture by how many people were affected by it. Thanks for being part of Power of Moms!

  2. Claire says

    Amy Glass has not inspired me to use my voice, because my first instinct is to ignore and dismiss her type of ignorance. But I am grateful for the people who are speaking out in defense of motherhood (I have to laugh at how she calls staying home the path of least resistance; it seems to me that these days the norm is to work outside the home, and that is the path of least resistance. Which isn’t to say that I have anything against mothers working outside the home; I worked fulltime when my son was a baby, and I work part-time now.) People who find parenting to be insignificant tend to have very different values than mine. I find it hard to relate to the attitude that being an executive in corporate America is so much more important than raising a human being.

  3. Alisha Gale says

    I’m grateful you wrote this, April. My first instinct was to ignore Amy Glass’s piece because the premise is ludicrous (seriously, if everyone subscribed to Amy’s view, there wouldn’t be any need to work because the human population would die off because no one would want to be a parent) and I’m sure she wrote it just to stir up controversy.

    But then you mentioned making sure our children know that family is our most worthwhile work. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized it IS important to raise our voices so that the younger generation–those who might not be sure how to navigate their lives–will have both sides of the issue as they’re making their life choices. We’d be doing a great disservice to those who come after us if we didn’t give them our truth.

  4. MJ says

    Anyone who says parenting is the path of least resistance has not enforced nap time, dealt with a gassy baby or gotten a toddler to eat more than chicken nuggets and hot dogs. :-) I love being a mother (I also happen to be an engineer with a successful career).

  5. Koni Smith says

    Thanks for writing this, April. My thoughts as I read Amy’s post? I just felt sorry for her. Sorry that she’ll never feel the JOY I have felt and continue to feel as a mother. You’ll never get that lasting joy from a job. You will get that lasting joy as a mother. How grateful I am to be a mother! Thanks for all you do!

  6. Allyson says

    Thank you, April, for keeping the focus on the positives of motherhood and not on “Amy’s” uninformed drivel. As other commenters have said, I didn’t want to give her words any more attention than they’ve already received, but I feel you’ve done it in just the right way. Alisha, loved your comment as well. We have such a strong position and we need to share it for those who are coming after us! And Saren, thank you! thank you! thank you! for sharing that blog post. Another fantastic response!

  7. Andrea says

    I identified with all of your thoughts, April, but especially your last point, where you mention that you hardly had a reaction. I remember sitting in a college language class after having my first baby so I could get out of the house and practice Spanish. Out of 15 or more students I was the only one married with children (including the instructor). The class focused on group conversation and one student asked me how many children I planned to have. I said I wasn’t certain, but probably 4 or 5. One young female gasped and said, “WHY?” Her declared major was aeronautics (we were at a top ten school in the Midwest) and she had her dream. I was happy for her…but I learned that not everyone would be happy with my dream. :) The important thing is that I am happy living my dream…now pregnant with number five. :)

  8. Elsje says

    K- so I must live in a bubble of motherhood because I had never even heard of her post. But as I read yours, and then hers, I have to agree with Koni. I just feel so bad that she doesn’t know what real joy is. She’s missing out on the little giggles, the snuggles, the accomplishments of each child–what a sad lonely life. Thanks for sharing such a positive statement and being a voice for so many who quietly, without earthy recognition, try to “accomplish” motherhood.

    • April Perry says

      You’re doing great work, Elsje, and I’m glad you’ve been busy in your “mommy bubble.” That’s a beautiful place to be. :) xo

  9. Hilary says

    This is what I posted on Facebook and thought I would share here:
    Okay, so I have been seeing a lot about a blog post by Amy Glass titled “I Look Down on Young Women With Husbands and Kids And I’m Not Sorry.” I totally disagree with her opinion (that is what is great about opinions – we can all have one and they can all be different)but there is one part in particular that just left me slack jawed.

    Here is the part that I am really struggling with: “Having kids and getting married are considered life milestones. We have baby showers and wedding parties as if it’s a huge accomplishment and cause for celebration to be able to get knocked up or find someone to walk down the aisle with. These aren’t accomplishments, they are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them.”

    As someone who struggled with infertility for 6 years I just need to let the ether know that literally, NOT anyone can get pregnant. It isn’t necessarily a “super easy task” and that just because it is a task that is not on her to do list doesn’t mean that it isn’t a goal that someone else has and is struggling to accomplish. Her rhetoric about how easy it is to “get knocked up” is like salt in the wound for me.

    Anyway, enough has been said about all of the other points she has made but I didn’t see anyone addressing this so I thought that I would throw in my own 2 cents (probably what it is worth).

    • Claire says

      I totally agree, Hilary! “Getting knocked up” was certainly not an easy task for me. I only succeeded twice, and never succeeded in carrying to term. Now that I am a mother to a living child (through the miracle of adoption), I can also say that even if becoming a mother had been an easy task, being a good mother is anything but easy. If I could go to bed every night, or even once in a while, feeling like I had done a good job as a mother, it would be a bigger accomplishment than anything else I can imagine.

  10. Tasha Bradshaw says

    Thank you for sharing your positive comments. Amy doesn’t realize the eternal joy that she is missing out on.

  11. KK says

    I agree with Hilary. I know have a little boy due to the miracle of adoption. I would also add that although perhaps anyone can get married, making a marriage last and be a happy one is not an easy task and not everyone can or will do it. I love it when I meet patients at work and find they have been married 30, 40, 50, 60 plus years. It gives me hope and encouragement for my marriage now. My first try failed.
    I also will echo MJ’s comments about toddlers and eating. Especiallywhen that toddler has several food allergies and sensitivities, and is very limited in what he can eat.

  12. says

    I wrote a whole blog post in response to Amy Glass on my blog at http://familiavalente2011.blogspot.com/

    I hope you can go and read it.

    My husband and child definitely will help me to be a more exceptional person! :)

    My post is in response to Amy’s quote: ““You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids.” – Amy Glass

  13. Janet Stuecklin says

    Thank you April, for throwing cool water on the fire and modeling grace! Thanks so much for the work you do at Power of Moms and keeping positive when others want to tear down. I suppose having kids gives you a lot of experience in responding with maturity to the immaturity of others! lol

  14. CA Maestro says

    The defense of motherhood is a worthy endeavor – responding directly to “Amy Glass” is not, simply because nothing about her is real, including her opinion. Her posts were less about meaningful dialogue, and more about site traffic. I’m glad you found something positive from it, but I would credit you far more than I would her.

  15. says

    Hello April, thanks for your mature and level-headed response to an extremely provocative article. I shared Amy Glass’s thoughts with my children around the dinner table one evening, and after recovering from shock they all encouraged me to write a response on my blog, Philosophy for Parents (www.philosophyforparents.com). Here’s the link: Baby-Induced Depression http://wp.me/p4cOvR-1E
    Thanks for all you and Saren do at Power of Moms – a truly inspired website.

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