Title: Being The Mom: 10 Coping Strategies I Learned by Accident Because I Had Children on Purpose
Author: Emily Watts
Basic Overview:
Emily Watts is an incredible woman and mother. She is a popular speaker at a yearly women’s conference and has written several books on motherhood. In Being the Mom she shares 10 coping strategies she’s found along her journey. The book does not come across as judgmental or have a “there’s only one way” attitude at all, but rather it’s like a great discussion with a friend. It is full of stories and lessons she has learned and that all moms can benefit from one way or the other. It is a quick, light read and is great for the new mom, the grandmom, and everyone in between.
Parts I liked best:
– Although this book flows very well from one section to another, there are 10 specific and separately defined strategies that make up the book. It gave me something concrete to focus on in each section.
– This book is a very easy and casual read. It is written as though you are listening to it being given by a keynote speaker or talking with a friend. The stories are wonderful and relatable. For me, I know I don’t have many long stretches to read so I need a book I can pick up and put down easily and this book works that way.
– I really appreciate all the personal experiences Emily shares. She is open and honest in speaking about her motherhood experiences, the pretty and not so pretty. In sharing these experiences she is saying, “We’ve all been there. You’re not alone,” and that is a great thing to be able to share with others.
How this book made an impact in my life, especially as a mother:
- Laugh at the hard times. She shares a story about showing up at church having forgotten to take out her head full of curlers. She says, “I don’t suppose I’ll ever have it all together–and if I did, I wouldn’t know where to put it. So now I just store up those little less-than-perfect moments and save them for the day when time will have seasoned them, turning them magically into a source of delight for our whole family. They’re a lot less cumbersome that way, and a lot more fun” (pg. 31).
- One mile effort is good enough. She tells of when she signed up to bring a drum themed treat to school. She recounts how she decided to make gingerbread cookie drums and struggled with the project so much she was up most of the night, sobbing as she baked. She says, “Years later it occurred to me that those kids would have been just as happy and felt just as drum-like with a Ding Dong and a couple of licorice sticks…The point is, there was nobody standing there in that kindergarten class passing out extra Good Mommy points for those who brought in home baked-treats rather than store-bought ones…This set me to wondering if there might be other times when my attempts at second-mile efforts were actually thwarting my effectiveness in the first mile” (pg. 35).
- Don’t Worry About It. She talks about not worrying about the messes kids make and titles one chapter, “If It Can Be Vacuumed Up, Wiped Off, or Washed Out Don’t Worry About It” (pg. 87). She goes on to talk about the emotional messes in our lives and says, “I’ve had plenty of occasion to beat myself up over self-made messes, and I’m trying to learn not to do it anymore. I can’t help it that I make mistakes, but I can refrain from agonizing over them long after the damage has been essentially repaired” (pg. 94). She also gives a great suggestion for when you notice other mothers messes. “Next time I see a mess in someone else’s life—including my own—I hope I’ll be less inclined to stand back and cluck my tongue and more willing to get in there with a bucket and a mop to help” (pg. 100).
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