During one of Alex’s first feedings of the day, he suddenly stopped eating and started looking around the room. For some reason, I felt very frustrated, thinking, “Great! Now it will take him longer to eat, which means he will nap later, which means…” and there I went, spiraling downward in thoughts of how this small delay was going to mess up his entire schedule and mine.
Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by a feeling of softness on my right arm.
I looked down and saw my sweet little boy completely focused on running his fingers up and down my arm. My frustration evaporated into a feeling of fullness and completeness. I was overwhelmed by his tenderness and how, with a simple touch from those tiny fingers, he had managed to stop my never-ending sequence of negative thoughts. A silent voice inside my head whispered, “Enjoy this moment.”
I quickly forgot about all the things that I had previously thought were important to “get done” that morning, realizing that Alex feeling close to me was much more important than the dishes and my to-do list. I found myself relaxed, just being pampered by my little one. I didn’t want to miss any detail from his face, his fingers, and his focused attention on my arm.
Alex hasn’t done that since that one day, and let me tell you that I miss the feeling I experienced while I felt the touch of his tiny fingers. I go back to that moment whenever I feel overwhelmed or simply need to feel better in my role as a mother. I’m so grateful that Alex taught me that sometimes it is best to let go of a perfectly planned day and instead enjoy a perfectly unplanned moment with my children.