There are amazing, devoted, wonderful, deliberate mothers out there, and each week we’ll spotlight one of them here at The Power of Moms. Do you know a mom who deserves a little time in the spotlight? Email rachelle.price (at) powerofmoms.com. We can’t wait to meet her.
Introducing Amy Lindstrom
How many children do you have and what are their ages?
I have three children. Jake is 11 and Mallory is 6. Our other son, and Mallory’s twin brother, passed away last January at 4 years old.
What have been your favorite parts of motherhood?
How completely smitten I can be with these little people! I love watching them grow and learn new things. I love hearing them laugh, probably more than anything else in the world. I love hearing my 11-year-old still call me “Mommy” (Oh, please don’t let that end!) and seeing Mallory run for the car after school and hear her say, “Oh Mommy, I just missed-ed you today.” SIGH!
I am endlessly grateful that I was, and still am, Dawson’s mom! Through over 40 surgeries (27 involving his brain) and he and I staying, for the majority of his life, in the hospital, we had an amazing and very deep bond. He was like a 4-month-old, for the most part, his whole life. He was in almost constant pain. Being his mother changed me entirely! He couldn’t tell me with words what he felt for me, but I could feel it when I held him. That is definitely a favorite part of motherhood for me!
What has surprised you about motherhood?
How incredibly hard it can be. I mean, for Pete’s sake, where are the bonbons and soap operas I was told about!?
I grew up being the “fun” babysitter. I LOVED to play with the kids! We always had so much fun! I always thought I was going to be the MOST fun, patient, loving, kind parent, all of the time! I would never be one of those moms who looks frazzled or impatient. HA! Ignorance is bliss! The trick for me is to focus on bringing the “fun mom” out and putting away the “I’ve got too much to get done mom.” There will ALWAYS be too much to get done. That stuff doesn’t end. However, it seems that time is flying by and my kids are getting older. I want to drink in every bit of them and spend as much time playing and enjoying each other as we can!
What have you learned from motherhood? Please share a specific story or incident that really taught you something.
In the last year and a half, since our son passed away, I would say that I have learned how completely I have to rely on the Lord for help in raising these kids.
I was praying for my 11-year-old son not too long ago. He holds things in. I was praying for help to understand what he needed or how I could help him. I felt like there was something going on and I couldn’t quite figure it out. I expressed that I felt helpless because his thoughts and emotions are sometimes a mystery to me. As I said those words I felt and heard a very loving, “But they are not a mystery to me.”
Through that very profound experience I have realized that I may not know exactly what is in my children’s hearts and minds, but the Lord does and He loves them and wants them to heal. He will give me the insight and words I need to help them through this. I depend on the Lord to help us all get through and learn the lessons He intends for us to learn. It is amazing to know that as parents we are not left alone. We are partners with the Lord, all working toward the same goal! THAT makes the hard stuff MUCH easier to face!
What would you say are the most important things a mom can do?
Right after Dawson passed away we could feel him all around us. It was honestly like meeting him all over again. We knew he was amazing. We knew that he was perfect. However, it seemed that once he was freed from his broken little body we got to understand the spiritual side of him much more. I remember, as my husband and I were dressing his little body for burial, we talked about how much we would love to have him back, for even a day, knowing what we now know about him. Would there have been more patience in hard times? More reverence? Not that there was a lack of these things, it was just such a powerful thing to begin to understand who we really were parents to. Suddenly, in a rush, I realized that I DO still have two of my children. Both of them have such greatness about them as well! If I knew them the way I had come to know our Dawson, wouldn’t the desire be the same? Wouldn’t I want to treat them with more kindness and patience? Wouldn’t I be more encouraging and quick to put away the things that I occupy my time with that don’t really matter that much anyway, all just for the opportunity to be with them and watch them learn and grow, laugh and find enjoyment in life’s most simple things?! Of course I would!
Since that time I have really tried to focus on that side of them. When I am losing patience, I think about them…who they really are. Children are so pure. They are slow to take offense and their “world’s biggest crisis” can be completely forgiven and forgotten in a minutes time and they are on to the next adventure. Man, can we ever learn a lesson from them on that subject!
I guess I would say that it is vital that we see our children as people and that we respect them. They are learning and our reactions will teach them the ways they should react. It is important to validate their feelings and help them cope or learn to deal with the hard things.
When we can see our children as the people we hope they will become, and we treat them that way, we won’t want to raise our voices to them. I am learning that sometimes I need to take a break and get some perspective before handling a situation, instead of dealing with it in the moment of my highest frustration. This is something my husband and I have always done with each other. My heart would break if I ever spoke unkindly to him and vice versa. Words spoken in anger tend to leave a scar that doesn’t easily fade. I take a moment to let the situation cool and give myself time to think through the best way of handling it. I think about my kids (or spouse) and try to remember the perspective I gained through losing our Dawson, and then deal with the situation. I have found that this helps me see them and handle the situation with more love and gentleness. This is, in my opinion, the way lessons are learned from mistakes. The consequence becomes theirs, not something you are inflicting upon them. They become more accountable for their actions.