Amber Fawson: So Much of Motherhood is About Acceptance

photo courtesy of Amber Fawson

There are amazing, devoted, wonderful, deliberate mothers out there, and each week we’ll spotlight one of them here at The Power of Moms. Do you know a mom who deserves a little time in the spotlight? Email rachelle.price (at) powerofmoms.com. We can’t wait to meet her.

Introducing Amber Fawson

How many children do you have, and what are their ages?

I have three wonderful children, two school-age kiddos in first and third, and a two-year-old that I get to hang out with wherever I go.

What have been your favorite parts of motherhood?

Dance parties in the family room, introducing my children to something for the first time (like watermelon or cotton candy or Ella Fitzgerald), picnics in the back of the mini van in the middle of San Francisco, bike rides at dusk, being there to comfort my kids after a nightmare, picking up my kids from school and asking about their highs and lows for the day, getting completely caught up in a good book together, or watching my children make a responsible or considerate choice.

What have been the hardest parts of motherhood for you?

Time! I am a person who likes to make a whole lot of plans. But as an adult I find time is much more spare than I dreamed it would be, and I always find myself wishing I had more of it. Time for more one-on-one talks, for more waffle breakfasts, for more after-school science experiments, for more walks to go visit the neighbors, to organize all my pictures of the kids, and to just linger with my kids and enjoy them before they grow up all at once.

What has surprised you about motherhood?

I’ve been surprised that so much of motherhood is about acceptance. Acceptance that you don’t have control over how much you get done in a day, and acceptance that your heart is completely wrapped up in this child whose situation and future you cannot completely control.

I’ve also been surprised that I don’t mind the more hum-drum parts of motherhood. I keep pretty busy with a business I run from home, but as for other aspirations, I have completely cut off a few I didn’t think I could live without. And you know what? When it really truly comes down to what I care about, I’m pretty certain I would be perfectly fine in this stage of my life with doing nothing but folding laundry and packing lunches and helping with homework. No ambition is more deeply satisfying. And I feel I am in the company of amazing women who have done it before and with me. There will be more time later. Although I admit I would like to pick up a book a little more often than I do.

What would you say are the most important things a mom  can do?

Family traditions! Really, what is more fun, more comforting, or more of a bonding experience? 

Trust your intuitions. I love this quote from Steven R Covey: “Remember your own priorities rather than imposing unrealistic social scripts on yourself.” 

Put in  the time to build a community around your family. I love that my kids have adults besides me and my husband whom they trust and to whom they feel responsible.

Enjoy family dinner time. Even if it’s just gathering for Rice Crispies.

What would you say are the most important things for a mom NOT to do?

Do NOT stop doing something important just because you are not doing it as perfectly as you’d like. Just do what you can for now, and let the guilt go!

What are some unique and interesting aspects of your family or your approach to mothering?

Okay. I’m going to use this question to tell you two of my favorite mothering strategies:

Brain points! My kids earn brain points for using their own brains instead of borrowing mama’s brain all the time (for example, they get brain points if I don’t have to call out, “close the door!” “remember your backpack!” “say Thank you!”).

I love giving my kids pop quizzes in the car, about someone’s name they just met, about what they learned in Sunday School, about how they should act at the play date we are driving to, about what countries are in Africa, you get the idea.

Thank you again to The Power of Moms for having me! It is a huge honor to be a tiny part of this incredible site.



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Comments

  1. Danee Davis says

    Amber is one of the MOST deliberate mothers that I have ever met. I have watched her in action personally and she is a girl that practices what she preaches and really seems to find the joy in motherhood.

  2. Werner Hoeger says

    We love how sweet, kind, and compassionate those kids are. A joy to be around. Another friend told me, “those are the best behaved kids I have ever seen.”

  3. Phil Manwill says

    ^That was me.^ So very true. When I had them in the toy store with me, the older boy say a toy that he REALLY liked. He stopped, and his jaw dropped. It was a little robot. I said, “Do you want it?” He flipped it over, saw the price tag of $10 dollars, and said “Nope. Its too expensive.”, then promptly put it back on the shelf. Amazing!

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