When I was a teenager (don’t all good stories start this way?), I wanted more than anything to be popular with the boys. I wanted boys to think I was pretty and fun, and for them to ask me out in droves. That didn’t happen.
Fast forward several years (okay, decades), and I am a married mother of three boys ages 5, 6 and 8. Some days it seems like I can never get a moment’s peace! Someone is fighting with his brother, someone else is not doing his homework, someone didn’t get to go first, and well, you get the picture.
Even at the end of the day, when I am exhausted and want nothing more than to collapse on my bed and be instantly transported to dreamland, motherhood preempts such fantasies. Instead, Madame Drill Sergeant must bark reminders to brush teeth, put shoes where they can be found in the morning, get jammies on, and the ever-popular, “don’t touch your brother.” Then, I must change gears and turn into Angel-Mommy for story-time, cuddle-time, and prayers–all while issuing reassurances of my love for them and my confidence that they are “big boys” who will sleep just fine in their own beds.
My youngest still likes to sleep snuggled against Mommy, mostly because I cannot resist his sweet face telling me how he likes to be beside me because he “loves me so much.” I wonder if he, or I, will ever outgrow this stage.
It always amazes me how Daddy can sit down, undisturbed, and watch TV or work on the computer. If I, on the other hand, even think of sitting or, heaven forbid, lying down for a moment, I can soon be found at the bottom of a Mommy “dog-pile”. Sometimes I want to scream that I need my space or some peace and quiet, and please stop jumping on my bed when I’m trying to relax. Then I look at my three boys, my most treasured little “possessions” and think, “Well, I always wanted to be popular with the boys and it has finally happened.” How grateful I am that it has happened in a much more meaningful way than I ever dreamed!
QUESTION: How important is perspective in mothering? Have you had times when you changed your perspective in the moment and found joy instead of frustration?
CHALLENGE: The next time you are feeling a little smothered by your children, scoop them up in your arms and tell them how much you love them and love being their mom.
Cheryl says
I love this! I am popular with the boys now too..I have 4 (and 1 daughter). I try SO hard to be a sweet Mommy during bedtime because I really want them to have fond memories…many times I am not successful. I want them to remember stories and songs and back rubs from Mom not a frustrated, yelling Mom!
One way I keep perspective is thinking of them telling their kids memories of their childhood and I want them to tell happy memories and have good feelings.